


You're (Not) My Hero

by AlexSpring



Category: Eddsworld
Genre: Angst, Biphobia, Bullying, Consensual Underage Sex, Dysfunctional Family, Eddsworld - Freeform, Gay Sex, High School AU, Homophobia, Lemon, M/M, Paul x Patyrck, Paultryck - Freeform, Self Harm, Self-Harm, Smut, Substance Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Tord is angst, Tord's parents are Paul and Patryck, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking, and gay but, angsty, no EddMatt, not hardcore shipping of Paul and Patryck they're kinda just there, there's like one chapter of smut, this is pretty sad, tom x tord - Freeform, tomtord - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-09 02:24:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 39,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11659677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSpring/pseuds/AlexSpring
Summary: High School AUTord and his parents moved from Norway so that they could live a more peaceful life. Tord to get away from the bullying, and Paul and Patryck to live together without constant harassment. Tord wants this to be a new beginning and wants to leave his old habits in the past, but will his vices come to haunt him? Oh, and that new boy. Yeah, the boy that Tord's head over heels for. God forgive that he breaks his heart, right?WARNING: There will be disclaimers on certain chapters that are extremely explicit. Some chapters can be skipped, but most of them can't. This story may contain content that is triggering to others. This story is a vent story. I am not at fault for any problems that occur while reading this story.





	1. Chapter 1

21 October

 

Tord woke up; his body sore and his head pounding slightly. He did not sleep well in the new house—the new country. He looked at the clock, and it read 5:24. His alarm was going to go off soon, so instead of just laying in bed uncomfortably, Tord got up and went to the bathroom. He stood outside his door, trying to remember which door was the bathroom. He went to the right, which led further down the hallway. He opened the door to see Paul and Patryck; Patryck was reading while Paul was still under the covers. Patryck looked at Tord, confused.

 

“Yes, Tord?” he said softly. Tord shuffled and looked down at his feet..

 

“I...uh...can’t find the bathroom,” Tord mumbled, his Norwegian usually fluent. Patryck closed his book and pulled off the covers, making Paul mumble something inaudible. Patryck put a hand on Tord’s shoulder and led him to the bathroom. 

 

“I’ll have your breakfast ready in a minute,” Patryck pat his back and smiled softly, leaving Tord to do his business. Tord stared at his reflection, the bags under his eyes very prominent. He sighed and grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, and began to brush his teeth. He took a shower, did his hair (glaring at the persistent “horns” that wouldn’t stay down), and returned to his room with the towel around his waist. He dried himself off and dressed himself, putting on his traditional red hoodie with black skinny jeans and black Converse. He changed the bandage that was on his right jaw, grimacing at the burned skin. Roadburn.

 

He turned off his light, grabbed his backpack from next to his door, and went downstairs. As Patryck had promised, breakfast was ready in thirty minutes. Tord sat down next to Paul, who was reading the newspaper and smoking; he took a drag and looked to his son.

 

“You ready for your first day of school?” the older man said. Tord looked at his father for a moment, but smiled. 

 

“Yeah, I am ready,” Tord said. Paul narrowed his eyes.

 

“What is your name, how old are you, and where are you from?” he said. Tord sighed, trying to remember the English lessons that his fathers had given him. 

 

“Hello, my name is Tord, I am sixteen, and I am of Norway,” he mumbled. Paul nodded and Patryck set a plate with lefse and strawberry jam down, with a small bowl of muesli on the side. Tord was glad to have his usual breakfast in an unusual place. 

 

“Eat up,” Patryck said in English. Tord nodded and ate his breakfast. Paul looked over at the clock, then back to Patryck. 

 

“The bus will be here by 6:20, Tord, don’t miss it,” Paul said. Tord nodded as he finished up his lefse and moved on to his muesli. 

 

“Don’t forget to talk to the office when you get there,” Patryck said, making Tord look up, confused. “You need your schedule,” Patryck smiled. Tord nodded and finished his muesli. He took a sip from his cup.

 

“Don’t make yourself sick,” Paul said without looking up from his paper. Tord rolled his eyes.

 

“Get to your bus,” Paul chuckled. Tord began to leave when Patryck grabbed his shoulder.

 

“Don’t forget your lunch,” he smiled, handing Tord the brown bag. Tord smiled and gave his father a hug. He looked back to see Paul with a brow raised, so Tord went back and gave him a hug, as well.

 

“Have a good day, Tord!” Patryck waved Tord off. Tord smiled.

 

“Love you guys,” he said, his accent heavily laced with English words.

 

Tord could see where other kids waited on the sidewalk and slowly made his way over. He could see a tall, lanky boy in teal with fiery red hair talking loudly to a shorter, chubbier boy with dark hair. Tord approached them but didn’t talk to him.

 

“Hey, new kid!” someone said. Tord turned around to see that the shorter of the two boys was talking to him. The redhead turned to see Tord and smiled.

 

“Hello,” Tord mumbled. The shorter boy made his way to Tord.

 

“You’re new, right?” he said. Tord nodded, and the boy held out his hand. 

 

“I'm Edd,” he smiled. Tord skeptically took his hand and shook it when the redhead spoke up. 

 

“I'm Matt!” he said loudly as he held out his hand. Tord shook it.

 

“What’s your name?” Edd asked. 

 

“My name is Tord,” the Norwegian said. Edd perked up at Tord’s voice. 

 

“Woah, your accent! Where are you from?” the boy in green asked. Tord started to relax. 

“I am of Norway,” he said. He turned to see the bus coming from behind him. 

 

“That’s pretty cool!” Matt said. Edd waved Tord to follow them to the bus. 

 

“You can sit behind us. Tom usually sits there but he's never here on time,” Edd shrugged. Tord nodded and boarded the bus, taking a seat behind Edd and Matt. They made conversation with him until they got to school, asking him questions about his old school and whatnot. Tord perked up, remembering what his father had told him.

 

“Do you know where the office is?” he asked the boys. Edd nodded. 

 

“I’ll walk you up there. I can also show you around if you want!” he said happily. Tord nodded and mumbled thanks.

 

“You’re going to leave me in class with Tom?” Matt scoffed, but smiled at Edd and started to laugh. Edd playfully punched him.

 

The bus stopped in the bus loop, and the boys got off. Edd motioned for Tord to follow him, where they proceeded to the front office. Edd talked to the secretaries for Tord, where they nodded. They had Tord take a picture for his ID, gave him his schedule, and a map of the school. Edd asked if he could show Tord around for the first hour or two, so the secretary called Edd and Tord’s first and second-hour teachers, warning them that they might not be in class, but they’re present. Edd thanked the secretaries and motioned for Tord to follow him, which he did.

 

They walked out of the office, which led to the courtyard, where there were six buildings. Edd pointed to each of them and explained what buildings had what, like the two hundred building had sciences and media technologies. He also explained how room numbers that were over fifty were on the top floor. Tord took all of this in while Edd showed him where his classrooms were. Tord actually had a few classes with Edd, such as P.E., science, history, and language arts. 

 

“Hey, Tord, what’s your seventh hour?” Edd asked, pointing to the missing schedule. Edd looked at his schedule closer.

 

“That’s weird...you have a free class!” he looked up at Tord, who shrugged.

 

“I took a few extra classes last year,” Tord said nonchalantly, taking his schedule. Edd nodded. 

 

“Well, first hour is almost over. Second hour we have P.E., so let’s make our way over,” he said, and Tord nodded. The bell rang, and kids started flooding out of the classrooms. Tord, being as short as he was, had a hard time following Edd, who was only barely taller than him; Tord managed to follow him, though. 

 

“Do you have your uniform?” Edd asked. Tord shook his head. “I’m sure Coach has a spare. If he doesn’t, you can always borrow one of mine.” Edd smiled and Tord nodded. They made their way to the P.E. room.

 

“Coach!” Edd shouted, making an older man turn around. He explained Tord’s situation, and he nodded.

 

“Hey there, kid. I’m Coach McGuire, but just call me Coach. I don’t think I have anything in your size,” he looked at Tord’s smaller figure, which embarrassed Tord slightly. 

 

“It’s okay, Coach, I think I have an extra,” Edd said. Coach nodded and blew his whistle. All the boys in the large room went to the locker room. Tord followed Edd, who also went.

 

“Edd!” Matt shouted. Edd waved at Matt while making his way to his locker. Matt smiled at Tord. 

 

“There’s an open locker next to Tom’s,” he said.

 

“Who is Tom?” Tord said, his accent thick. Matt pointed over to a boy who had his back facing them. 

 

“Tom!” Matt yelled. The shirtless boy turned around.

 

He wasn’t as tall as Matt, but he was still really tall. His light brown hair was swooshed upwards, and his eyes were...black? His body was toned, but Tord couldn’t take his eyes off the pieces of metal on Tom’s body.

 

“What?” he said. Matt nudged Tord.

 

“His locker is next to yours, can you give him the code?” Edd said, handing Tord the uniform. Tom sighed and opened the lock for Tord. Tord started to change, very aware of all of the muscular boys in the room. Tord looked down at his skinny self and sighed, catching a glimpse of his scars. He put his shorts on as quick as he could and placed his things in his locker.

 

“I’ll tell you the code when it’s time to change out,” Tom mumbled. Tord nodded.

 

Another whistle blew, and boys started to leave the locker room. Tord followed behind Tom and Edd. 

 

“It’s PACER day, boys! Half of you, on the side, half of you on the line!” Coach yelled. Tord followed Matt, Edd, and Tom to the sideline and sat with them, while the other boys ran.The lowest score was fifteen, while the highest was sixty-one. Tord’s heart started to race after one boy dropped out. How was he supposed to do this?

 

When the last boy stopped, the Coach blew his whistle and restarted the audio. Tord stood next to Tom.

 

“Bet I’ll beat you this time, Tom!” Matt laughed. Tom shook his head.

 

“You never beat me,” he chuckled.

 

“This time I will!” Matt laughed. Edd started laughing. The test started.

 

Tord paced himself, but he mostly kept in sync with Tom. This was pretty easy.

 

The first boys stopped at twenty. The next group stopped at thirty. Edd was out by thirty-five, and by fifty, half of the boys were gone. No boys dropped until seventy, but it was only Matt, Tom, Tord, and two other boys. Tord could feel his breathing hitch, but he watched Tom carefully. Tom breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth in a sort of beat—he never skipped that beat. Tord kept in sync with it. 

 

The two boys dropped out at eighty, and Matt dropped out at eighty-three. Tom looked at Tord, confused.

 

“How are you still here?” he whispered. Tord shook his head.

 

“I don’t know,” 

 

Many boys were cheering for the two as the number just kept getting higher and higher. It was one hundred when boys cheered loudly.

 

“Is he gonna beat Tom?” someone shouted. 

 

“No one has beat Tom before!” another shouted. 

 

It was one hundred and four when he stopped. 

 

The cheering continued, and Tord looked back to see Tom stopped, hunched over. Tord made it to the line, whereas Tom had stopped a few feet back. The whistle blew. Tord walked up to Tom.

 

“Are you okay?” he mumbled, barely able to keep himself up. His legs were wobbly and his stomach was doing flips. His chest burned and his throat was dry. Tom looked up.

 

“Holy shit,” he said. Shaking his head. “You’re like a fucking horse, dude,” Tom said. Tord put Tom’s arm around his shoulder as they supported each other to the water fountains. 

 

“Tord, that was incredible!” Matt and Edd said. 

 

“Tom usually stops after everyone else stops, which is at like eighty-four. Tom, I didn’t know you could go that much further!” Matt said. Tom was taking deep breaths.

 

“I didn’t know that, either,” Tom said. The boys laughed together, and Tord felt included for once. Coach approached the boys.

 

“Good job, boys. Tord, where did you say you came from?” he asked. Tord looked back at Coach.

 

“Norway,” he said. Coach’s eyebrows went up when he heard the thick accent. He nodded.

 

“They teach all boys to run like that in Norway?” he laughed. Tord was silent for a moment, thinking of the boys back in Norway, and what they did to him. Tord gave the coach a weak smile.

 

“Yeah, they do.” he laughed slightly. Coach patted him on the back and returned to the middle of the room, and blew his whistle.

 

“Dress out!” he yelled. The boys retreated to the locker room to change. Tord was sweating bad, and he saw the shower stall. 

 

“Edd, how much time is left?” he called. Edd checked his phone. 

 

“Coach let us out early, so there’s a little more than fifteen minutes,” Edd looked at Tord.

 

“Are there towels here?” Tord asked. Edd nodded. Tord took off his shirt and his gym shorts and folded them, placing them in the locker and taking out his other clothes. Tord saw Tom staring out of the corner of his eye, but said nothing. Tord grabbed a towel, put his normal clothes on the counter, and got into the shower stall. 

 

Many other boys followed as well. Tord was done first, washing off the sweat and oil from his body. He dried off his hair and his upper body and wrapped the towel around his waist. He pulled back the shower curtain and went to the counter, but his clothes weren’t there. He rolled his eyes.

 

“Tord, you’re clothes are so small!” he heard Matt say. Tord walked into the locker area, looking for Matt. Matt was sitting, looking at Tord’s hoodie. Tord walked closer.

 

“Matt, where are my clothes?” Tord asked slowly. Matt raised a perfect brow. He smiled mischievously and shrugged.

 

“Ask Edd,” 

 

“Edd, get your ass back here!” Tord heard. Edd ran past Tord, clothes in his arms. Tom came from behind soon after. 

 

“Catch me, Mr. One Hundred and Three!” Edd mocked. Tom clenched his fists. Tord sighed. 

 

“Edd, do you have any deodorant on you?” he asked. Edd raised a brow.

 

“Yeah, it’s in my locker; it’s unlocked.” he chuckled. Tom ran after Edd once more, holding onto his towel. Tord plucked his boxers out of Edd’s arms as Edd ran by and went back to the shower stall to put them on. He hung up the towel and put on the deodorant, and sat next to Matt, who was on his phone. Tord put Edd’s deodorant back in his locker and waited. 

 

“How often does this happen?” Tord asked Matt. Matt laughed.

 

“Not often, but Tom was staring at you and Edd thought it’d be funny to have you two nude in the same room,” Matt said without looking up from his phone. Tord blushed and looked at Matt.

 

“Edd, get back here!” Tom yelled as he grabbed on to Edd’s hoodie. Edd was laughing along with many of the other boys. The bell rang; Tord got his clothes back and he got dressed, apologizing to Tom on the way out. Tom grabbed his shoulder before Tord could catch up with Edd and Matt.

 

“Hey, don’t apologize, Edd is just an asshole sometimes,” Tom said. Tord looked up at the bigger male and tried not to blush.

 

“He does not seem that bad,” Tord said. Tom shrugged.

 

“What’s your next class?” Tom said. Tord pulled out his schedule from his back pocket and showed it to be history. Tom nodded. 

 

“There’s an extra seat next to Matt in that class, so you should be good.” Tom handed back the schedule.

 

“Let us go before we are late,” Tord said. Tom shrugged. 

 

“I’ll be late. Go ahead and go without me, Norksi.” Tord gave Tom an odd look but did so anyway.

 

“Matt!” Tord shouted at the lanky ginger who was ahead of him. He turned around to look.

 

“I do not know where history is, can you help?” Tord caught up with Matt and Edd.

 

“Let me see your schedule,” Edd said. His face brightened up as they walked. 

 

“You have history with us!” Edd smiled, handing back the paper. Matt looked around.

 

“Where is Tom?” he asked. Tord shrugged.

 

“He did not want to come. He said to be late without him.” Tord said. 

 

“Ms. Foster is going to flip when he shows up late,” Matt laughed. Edd rolled his eyes.

 

“He’s always late to her class.”

 

“Why?” Tord asked. Edd shrugged.

 

“He really doesn’t like her for some reason. She’s always really nice,” Edd said.

 

“Well, not to him,” Matt laughed as the boys walked up the stairs.

 

“Yeah, but Tom is always on his phone in that class, maybe if he actually did the work she’d like him,” Edd pointed out. Matt shrugged.

 

“You know that he has an A in that class, though. He doesn’t do the work or study, but always aces her tests. She thinks that he’s cheating in his class all the time,” Matt giggled. The three boys walked into class, and Matt introduced Tord to Ms. Foster.

 

“Ms. Foster! You have a new student!” he yelled. A plump woman jumped at her desk to look up at Matt. 

 

“Where are they?” she asked, standing up. Matt waved his hands around Tord, which slightly embarrassed him. Ms. Foster laughed at Matt’s silly entrance. She held out her hand.

 

“I’m Ms. Foster, and you are?”

 

Tord took the woman’s hand and shook it. “I am Tord,” he said. Her eyebrows shot up at his accent.

 

“My, my, where are you from?” she smiled. Tord picked at a fray thread on his sleeve..

 

“I am of Norway,” he said. She nodded.

 

“Exotic,” she laughed. She looked around the room as the bell rung. Two seats were empty. 

 

“Sit next to Matt, okay? You don’t have eye problems, do you?” she asked. Tord shook his head. She sighed.

 

“Well, I guess Tom can keep his seat then,” her voice changed slightly when she said Tom’s name, but she still kept a smile. Tord realized that the empty seat was right next to Ms. Foster’s desk.

 

Tord sat next to Matt and dropped his black bag onto the floor. He pulled out his pencil and Matt pulled out paper for both of them. Ms. Foster was in the middle of reading of the bell work when the door opened. Tord watched Ms. Foster’s face falter for a minute.

 

“Tom, later again, I see.” she gritted through her teeth. Tord turned to see Tom, who sat in his seat nonchalantly and dropped his bag. She rolled her eyes and continued with the bell work. Matt snickered.

 

“What?” Tord whispered. Matt shook his head.

 

“I hope you get to see Ms. Foster go off on him,” Matt laughed. Ms. Foster raised a brow at Matt. He went back to working.

 

The class was relatively easy that day. Ms. Foster discussed with Tord where his school left off, and it turns out that he was an entire unit ahead. Tord took notes, however, because some of the English words were still new to him. He asked Matt the definitions and if he spelt the words right; most of the time he didn’t. Ms. Foster asked them what they were doing at first (she seemed kind of annoyed), but once Matt explained what they were doing, she was okay with it. She gave Tord the vocabulary for this unit and previous units so that he could look up the definitions for himself. Ms. Foster told him that she’d be happy to help him after school if he still didn’t understand any of the material.

 

Tord did get so see what Matt meant when Ms. Foster would go off on Tom. More than once Ms. Foster told Tom to get off his phone, and more than once Tom said that he was just “checking his grades”. Ms. Foster threatened to kick him out, but every time Tom had a rebuttal; showing off his grades to her—which were surprisingly high for the way he acted in class. 

 

The bell rang, signaling for the end of class. Tord was sad that he had to leave and go to a class without his friends, but this was no fantasy world—they all had different classes, and he had to accept that.

 

Tord asked Ms. Foster where the orchestra room was. She highlighted it on his student map for him and told him that it was on the bottom floor. None of the other boys had a classroom near there, so Tord made his way over by himself, being pushed around 

 

He made it to class right before the bell. He saw many different types of kids sitting in rows, a piano in the corner, and an instructor in the middle. Tord pulled out his neatly folded schedule and walked to the teacher.

 

“Um, hello. I am Tord,” the Norwegian said. The tall, curly haired man turned to look at the smaller boy. He took the schedule and looked at it. The instructor looked back to Tord and handed the paper back.

 

“I’m Mr. Stevens,” the man said. He looked at Tord for another moment.

 

“Where is your instrument?” he asked. Tord fidgeted.

 

“I play...the piano,” Tord said, careful to make sure that he pronounced each word right. The instructor’s face brightened.

 

“Can you read sheet music?” he asked. Tord nodded. The instructor went back to his stand and flipped through some papers. He pulled out a few and handed them to Tord. 

 

“I’m glad you are a pianist—it’s hard to be an instructor behind a piano,” he chuckled. 

 

“Everyone! We have a new student!” Mr. Stevens said. Tord felt his face heat up as he turned to face the class. Many eyes were on him as the room silenced. 

 

“What is your name, son?” Mr. Stevens asked. Tord gulped.

 

“Tord…” he said. Another student perked up.

 

“Woah, where are you from? You’re accent’s crazy!” they said. Tord looked up, but wasn’t able to target the voice.

 

“I am of Norway,” he said. Whispers emerged and some giggles did, too. Tord shifted uncomfortably.

 

“But, on top of that, he is our new pianist!” Mr. Stevens announced. Many of the students cheered at that. Tord scolded himself.

 

_ This is your fault, you shouldn’t have said you were a pianist. _

 

_ Now they have high expectations. _

 

_ This is advanced orchestra, after all. _

 

Mr. Stevens nudged Tord over to the piano and he sat. Tord placed the papers on the music rack and studied them for a minute. He stood so that he could see the instructor over the large piano.

 

“Ten minutes of practice time, and then we’ll play,” he said. “I may extend it by five or ten minutes based on how our newbie is doing,” he laughed. “Raise your hand if you need help on any part,” Mr. Stevens finished. Tord sat back down and read over the sheet music.

 

He placed his fingers on the piano and played the first note. It wasn’t as old as the one that his parents had, and it was much smoother to play. Tord played the first series of notes. 

 

The class dimmed in volume when Tord played, and he could feel his palms starting to sweat. He shook his head and continued.

 

He messed up every now and then, but for the most part, he had the first part of the song down. He played it all together and it flowed beautifully. Tord was so caught up that he didn’t realize that the entire class was quiet.

 

“Fast learner, eh?” Mr. Stevens said. Tord jumped a little, not realizing that his instructor was there. 

 

“How far have you played?” he asked. Tord pointed to the page that he was on. Mr. Stevens nodded and turned to the class, to where his music stand was.

 

“Page six, everyone. We will go to page eight today,” he said. “Tord, you start us when you are ready,” Tord nodded. He played the first notes; the violas came in after that, then the cellos, and then the violins and basses together. Tord started to relax as the music washed over him. His old class was nowhere near this talented when he played for them. 

 

The instructor stopped the class at some points to make comments, but for the most part, they played all the way up to where Tord knew. 

 

“Good job. There are five minutes left of class, practice then pack up!” Mr. Stevens said. He made his way back over to Tord.

 

“Do you have a piano at home, son?” he asked. Tord nodded.

 

“Don’t talk much, do you?” Mr. Stevens asked. 

 

“I am not good at English yet,” Tord muttered. Mr. Stevens laughed.

 

“I don’t care if you speak English at this point, as long as you talk,” he pat Tord on the back.

 

“Make sure that you have everything ready to go. You can play the last few minutes of class.”


	2. Chapter 2

21 October

 

The bell had rung, signaling for lunch. Tord really did enjoy fourth hour, even if he was quiet all class. Playing the piano was...nice. Calming. 

 

“Tord, over here!” a voice shouted. Tord turned to see Matt waving a hand, Edd holding Matt’s hand, and Tom standing with a hand on his hip staring at his phone. Tord made his way over. 

 

“Come sit with us,” Matt smiled. Tord smiled back and looked over a Tom, who was staring for a moment. Tom looked away, a dust of pink on his cheeks. Tord followed the boys to a table far from everyone else. They sat down and Tord sat next to Tom. Tord pulled out his lunch while Matt and Edd did as well. Tord pulled out tuna sandwich, some carrots, and a water bottle. Matt pulled out a salad, and Edd pulled out a PB and J,  with some chips and a water. Tom didn’t pull out anything. 

 

“Tom, where is your lunch?” Tord asked. Tom looked up from his phone.

 

“I don’t bring a lunch,” he said. Tord passed him his carrots.

 

“Here,” he said. 

 

“You’re not allowed to complain during art today,” Matt said with a mouthful of salad. Edd laughed as lettuce flew everywhere and Tom cringed back. Tom begrudgingly took the carrots and opened the bag to eat them. 

 

“Tord, tell us about Norway!” Edd said. Tord looked at Edd curiously, but nodded.

 

“It is cold,” he said. Edd smiled.

 

“And?” he pushed. Tord took a bite of his sandwich and raised an eyebrow.

 

“What do you want to know?” Tord asked. 

 

“Tell us about your old school!” Matt said. Tord thought for a moment.

 

“It is a small school, not many kids. Everyone knew each other, it is a small community.” Tord said, thinking each word before saying it. 

 

“That sounds nice, why’d you guys move?” Edd asked. Tord shrugged.

 

“My parents needed jobs, and my education was, uh, poor, I guess.” Tord took another bite of his sandwich and chewed. 

 

“Did you go to some crap school?” Edd asked. Tord started to become uncomfortable.

 

“It was not that bad, it was more of the kids that went there,” Tord shrugged. 

 

“Ooh, I see,” Edd nodded. “So how do you like Britain so far?” he asked. Tord shrugged.

 

“It is nice. The people are very different here, though,” Tord nudged Tom, who was still snacking on carrots.

 

“Haha, yeah! I bet you didn’t see a whole lot of people like Tom or Matt,” Edd said. Tord smiled. 

 

“What about me?” Tom grumbled. Edd, Matt, and Tord laughed. 

 

“If you were paying attention, you might know what we’re talking about,” Matt said as he finished up his salad.

 

“Yeah, whatever,” Tom went back to scrolling through his phone.

 

“Oh, Tord!” Matt said. Tord looked up at him from his sandwich.

 

“Yes?” 

 

“Edd was telling me that you had a free seventh hour!” Matt lowered his voice for the second part. “Maybe you could sign us out and we could go to the ice cream shop,” Matt laughed. Tord rolled his eyes, but had a smile on his face.

 

“Matt, no one will believe that I am fifteen, much less eighteen.” Tord laughed. 

 

“Wait, you’re only fifteen?” Matt and Edd said in shock. Tord raised a brow.

 

“Yeah?” he said. Matt and Edd started laughing, and Tom had a slight smirk on his face.

 

“I have a late birthday, I started early,” Tord defended. 

 

“No, we aren’t laughing at you, Tord, but what you said. You do look like you’re fourteen or thirteen,” Edd chuckled. Tord rolled his eyes again.

 

“I am not that young, that is all that matters. You guys are the ones acting like middle schoolers!” Now Tom was laughing as well. Tord laughed, too. 

 

“Tord, what’s your fifth hour?” Edd asked. Tord pulled out his schedule to check.

 

“Uh, I have math,” he said. Matt held out his hand for the schedule, and Tord handed it to him. 

 

“We have science together sixth hour, which isn’t too bad! But then Tord has his last hour off,” Matt mocked jokingly. 

 

“I can not help it,” Tord said. 

 

“It’s fine, Tord. We all have sixth hour together and Tom’s bench has an empty space,” Edd pointed out. Tord nodded.

 

“Why are all the empty seats either next to Tom or Matt?” Tord asked. Edd smirked.

 

“Do you really think anyone could stand to sit next to either one of them?” Edd laughed. Matt covered his heart dramatically and Tom scoffed.

 

“It’s not like anyone wants to sit next to you, either, top shot,” Tom mumbled. Edd shrugged.

 

“At least I’m likable,” he laughed. Tom finished off his carrots. 

 

“Barely,” Tom said. Tord and Matt laughed at the statement. Edd rolled his eyes, but a smile was on his face.

 

“Whatever,” Edd chuckled. He got all his trash together in one pile to throw it away. He urged the others to do the same. They got up and threw away their trash as the bell rang. 

 

“C’mon, let’s go to fifth hour,” Edd waved. Matt stood by his side as Tom and Tord followed in suit. Tord looked up at Tom, who was starting to slow down.

 

“Where are you going?” Tord asked. Tom shrugged.

 

“Not class,” he said. Tord rolled his eyes.

 

“Come on, Tom. Why do you not try being early?” he asked. Tom raised a brow. He nodded and caught back up with the other boys. 

 

Matt and Tom went their separate ways as they went to art, but Tord and Edd had class in the same building, just different floors. Edd pointed out the math classroom.

 

“It’s downstairs, back of the building,” Edd said. Tord nodded.

 

“What class do you have?” he asked. Edd pointed up. 

 

“Psychology,” Tord nodded and said goodbye to Edd as he went to his classroom. He pulled out his schedule to show the teacher. His name was Mr. Johnson.

 

~

 

Tord sighed as he made his way to science. He didn't enjoy math very much, and he already knew everything that the teacher was talking about. 

 

Tord jumped as the bell rang. He looked around him and realized that the hallway was empty. He sighed. 

 

Tord remembered what Edd had said about the buildings. Science was in the two hundred. Tord face palmed when he realized he was in the three hundred. 

 

Tord made he was to the classroom, and was almost ten minutes late. He opened the door quietly, and the teacher turned to look who was entering. 

 

“Hello?” the teacher asked. Tord stood uncomfortably as many eyes turned to look at him. 

 

Tord walked in and handed the teacher his paper. She nodded and pointed to the seat next to Tom, who was doodling in a notebook. 

 

“With your bench partner, discuss what an oxidation number is, and what free numbers are,” the teacher sat down at her desk. Tord turned to Tom. 

 

“Tom, what is oxidation?” Tord whispered. Tom shrugged.

 

“Do you really think that it’s that important?” Tom grumbled, closing his notebook. “Why are you late?” he asked. Tord watched him.

 

“I got lost,” Tord said as he pulled out a notebook of his own. Tom scowled slightly.

 

“What, you didn’t have Edd to chauffeur your way around?” Tom mocked. Tord looked at Tom with a confused face.

 

“Why are you being like this?” Tord asked. Tom straightened up a bit when the teacher stood up.

 

Class continued, and Tord heard the occasional snickering behind him, which he assumed to be from Matt and Edd who only sat a few benches back. Tord tried to ignore it.

 

“Have I upset you?” Tord whispered. Tom looked over at him.

 

“What?” 

 

“Did I do something that has upset you?” Tord asked again. Tom shook his head.

 

“Then why are you so...angry?” Tord struggled to find the right word.

 

“I am sorry, that is not the word that I am looking for,” Tord mumbled to himself. Tom went back to his work.

 

“I think you mean cold or sour,” Edd said. Tord and Tom both looked up to see Edd holding a few papers to turn in.

 

“Is it cold in here? Tom, how are you sour?” Tord looked at Tom worriedly, who just shook his head.

 

Edd laughed. “Tord, that’s not what it means when a person is being sour or cold. When a person is being cold, they aren’t talking to you, or like throwing a silent fit, kind of. And being sour is just being pissy.” Edd explained. Tord stared at Edd for a minute, trying to take in what he said.

 

“Oh,” was all Tord could respond with.

 

“Edd, leave him alone, he’s still learning,” Tom grumbled. Edd shook his head.

 

“I wasn’t making fun of him,” 

 

“Yeah, okay, whatever. Go sit down,” Tom looked at Edd and narrowed his eyes.

 

“What pissed you off?” Edd rolled his eyes and sat down.

 

“What is wrong, Tom?” Tord said. Tom opened his mouth, but closed it again. He shook his head.

 

“Nothing is wrong,” was all he replied with. Tord narrowed his eyes at Tom.

 

“But you are being very quiet and...cold? I am sorry, I still don’t understand what that means,” Tord shook his head. “I...I am sorry. I do not mean to bother you.” Tord turned back to his work.

 

Tom was silent the entire hour, which in turn made Tord silent the entire hour. The bell rung and Tom was gone before Tord could even pull on his backpack. Tord made his way over to the teacher to ask for the vocabulary so he could study. 

 

There was no sight of Edd, Matt, or Tom when Tord left the room. He shook his head and looked at his schedule. He wandered the campus after the late bell rung. 

 

Tord found himself making his way over to the music building once more, but wasn’t planning on returning to Mr. Stevens. He sighed as he found an empty room.

 

The lights didn’t work when Tord tried to flick them on, and the door squeaked loudly when closing. Tord cringed as the door shut behind him.

 

There were boxes stacked up next to the walls and broken desks in the corner. There was a rack for drama club costumes, and a large piece of something sat underneath a blanket.

 

Tord pulled off the blanket and started coughing—the dust being inhaled. Underneath was an old piano.

 

Tord sat on the bench in front of it and jumped back up. It wobbled so horribly that it felt that it was going to break. He took a breath and sat back down, careful not to move. 

 

He placed his hands on the keys, which felt old, rugged, and used. He played a note, but the note was off. 

 

He played a few other notes, and learned that some of the keys didn’t play at all, and some were out of tune. All in all, most of the piano worked. 

 

He played what he had learned in orchestra, but stopped after he got bored of the melody. He closed his eyes and just played.

 

“Who’s in here?” a voice shouted. Tord jumped and slammed his hands down on the piano. 

 

“Faen!” he shouted. “Uh, just me!” Tord yelled back. A man in slacks and a polo shirt with the school’s emblem walked up.

 

“What are you doing in here?” the man asked. Tord swallowed.

 

“Uh...I found this room while wondering. I do not have a seventh hour,” Tord spilled rather quickly. The man raised his brow up.

 

“Are you new?” he asked. Tord nodded his head.

 

“May I see your schedule?” the man asked. Tord nodded his head and pulled his folded schedule from his pocket. 

 

“Have you talked to the office?” he asked. Tord shrugged slightly. 

 

“I took more classes at my old school so they just left the slot blank, I guess,” Tord shrugged. The guard nodded and said something into his radio, but Tord didn't pay attention. After a few minutes, the guard responded. 

 

“Can I trust you here? You won't help other kids ditch?” he said. Tord looked at the call man. 

 

“Of course, sir,” Tord nodded. The guard sighed in relief. 

 

“One less kid I have to worry about,” the guard waved off Tord. “Have fun, kid. Don't get in trouble and have a good day.” he left. 

 

Tord spent the hour trying to tune the piano and to get some of the other keys to work. He played a little at the end.

 

~

 

Tord was on the bus first, in the same spot he was this morning. He watched as kids got on, but he perked up as he saw the green clad teen. 

 

“Tord! You got here fast! How was seventh hour?” Edd said as Matt boarded the bus. Tord shrugged.

 

“I got to play piano and I met the guard.” He said. Edd raised his brows. 

 

“You play piano? That's pretty cool,” Edd said as Matt sat down. Matt pulled out his earbuds and smiled at Tord. 

 

“I hope you like sharing a seat with Tom, he likes to take the entire seat.” He laughed. Tord eyed Tom as he boarded and their eyes met. 

 

“I-I can move—”

 

“Don't worry about it,” Tom mumbled. Tord talked quietly with Edd on the way home while Tom and Matt listened to music. 

 

Tord smiled to himself as the bus drove over the bumps and dips in the streets. Tord almost didn't want to leave his friends when the bus stopped. 

 

He waved at Edd who went one way, and at Tom and Matt who went another way. This friendship was blossoming, and Tord was happy for once.


	3. Chapter 3

4 November

 

The first two weeks weren’t difficult for Tord, and a lot of his teachers warned him that it might be like that for a while, but Tord wasn’t complaining.

 

Tord

 

“Hey commie!” Tom semi-shouted. Tord turned around to see the tall boy walking to him.

 

“Hi, Tom,” Tord waved. Tom stopped beside him.

 

“Is this your little hideout?” he chuckled, gesturing to the storage room.

 

“Yeah, I guess. I can’t let you in, though,” Tord furrowed his brows as Tom raised his. 

 

“Is that so?” Tom looked behind him as the bell rang.

 

“Well, I don’t think you want me to go to ISS, do you?” he leaned in. Tord didn’t break eye contact.

 

“What is ISS?” he asked. Tom lost his smirk and blinked. 

 

“In school suspension,” he said. Tom’s arm wriggled behind Tord and opened the door. Tord blushed, embarrassed.

“Oh,” he mumbled. He sighed as he followed Tom into the room; he closed the door behind them. 

 

“Why do you come here anyway?” Tom asked. Tord walked past him to the covered piano.

 

“This,” he whispered. Tom stared at it. 

 

“But it’s broken,” Tom stated bluntly. Tord glared at him. 

 

“I fixed it as best as I could, but that does not matter. It’s tuned and it plays.” Tord sat on the wobbly bench. Tom nodded.

 

“So you play then?” he asked. Tord nodded slightly and placed his fingers on the keys.

 

At first, he played softly, but the song started to become stronger. The tempo became faster, Tord played harder, and the song became  _ real _ .

 

Tord slammed the keys, which made Tom jump. Tord played the soft part that he played at the beginning and ended the song.

 

“Holy shit,” Tom mumbled. He sat next to Tord, who was slightly shaking. 

 

“That was pretty damn cool,” Tom added. He raised a brow at Tord.

 

“You okay?” he whispered.

 

“Yeah.” Tord nodded.

 

“Anxiety?” Tom asked. Tord nodded again.

 

“Yeah, that.”

 

They sat together as Tord played a soft, looping melody.

 

“You want to hang out today? Matt, Edd, and I were going to go see a movie or something,” Tom asked quietly. He pressed one key repeatedly as Tord shifted his position to play to it.

 

“Uh, sure,” he muttered. “I might not be able to keep up with the movie.” he smiled. Tom shrugged.

 

“You’ve seen a movie before, right? It shouldn’t be too hard.” he chuckled. Tord turned his head to the side and shrugged.

 

“I haven’t been to a theater in a few years and I haven’t seen a movie in English,” Tord said. Tom’s eyes widened. 

 

“Are you serious?” he asked. Tord nodded. “Dude, that’s lame. You’re coming with us.” Tom decided.

 

“My parents will want to meet you,” Tord said, not taking his eyes off the piano. Tom shrugged.

 

“They can meet Edd and Matt. Most parents don’t like meeting kids like me.” Tom leaned back, but the bench wobbled. Tord closed the piano and turned to Tom.

 

:I guess I can ask.” he agreed. Tom smiled.

 

“We can probably go to Burger King or something after. I’m always hungry after movies.” Tom stood and helped Tord up. The smaller teen shrugged on his bag and handed Tom his.

 

“Jeez, your backpack is so light,” Tord said in awe. Tom laughed.

 

“Why is yours so heavy?” Tom held the door open for the smaller teen and closed it behind them. Tord started to head to the buses but Tom pulled him back.

 

“I brought my car today,” he said. Tord nodded.

 

“Do Edd and Matt know?” Tord questioned. Tom pulled out his phone and typed a quick message. He pocketed his phone as they exited the building. Tord followed Tom to the student parking lot.

 

“Do you have a kik? I can add you to our group chat,” Tom asked. Tord looked at him as if he was crazy.

 

“Do I have a kick? Are kicks tangible? I have legs,” Tord asked. Tom laughed and shook his head.

 

“You have a phone, right?” Tom asked. Tord nodded as he dug out his iPhone 4.

 

“Oh, ancient technology. Here, I’ll hook you up to my hotspot and download the app for you.” Tom laughed as he took Tord’s phone. The bell rang and kids started flooding out of the buildings. Tom opened the gate to the student parking lot. Tord watched as Edd and Matt met up and began making their way over. Tom nudged Tord.

 

“Here, you can customize your profile later, but I’ll add you to the chat anyway.” He handed back his phone and waved to Edd.

 

“Have you decided on the movie yet?” Edd asked. Tom shrugged.

 

“I was going to ask Tord, but he doesn’t know any English titles.” Tom opened his door as Matt slid into the passenger, leaving Tord and Edd to the back. 

 

“Tord, you haven’t seen any English movies?” Edd asked, surprised. Tord shrugged.

 

“I am still learning English,” Tor said. Matt whipped around to look at him.

 

“You know, I don’t want to see a movie. Let’s go to the mall or something,” Matt laughed. Tom shrugged.

 

“I’m still set on a movie,” he said. 

 

“What do you think, Tord?” Edd asked. “I mean, I personally kind of want to go window shopping.”

 

“Uh, why don’t you and Matt walk around while Tom and I go see a movie?” Tord said. “We can meet up after.”

 

The boys agreed and took their ways at the mall. Tord followed Tom to the theater.

 

“What do you want to see?” Tom asked. Tord shrugged.

 

“I have not seen the previews on any.” Tord looked up at Tom.

 

“Hopefully the movie I pick you like then.” Tom smiled slightly.

 

Tom paid for the tickets and they bought snacks. Tord balanced his backpack while holding both drinks and the popcorn. Tom texted on his phone.

 

“A little help please?” Tord asked. Tom looked at Tord and took his drink.

 

“Let’s sit in the back.” Tom walked in and walked towards the back row while Tord followed.

 

Tord made small talk with Tom during the commercials. 

 

“Hey, Tom, have you been okay?”

 

“What do you mean?” Tom asked. Tord shrugged.

 

“Edd said that you’ve been quiet lately and I wanted to know if it was my fault.” Tord pulled his legs up beneath him and sat crisscrossed on the chair.

 

“Ha, I guess it kind of is your fault,” Tom laughed. Tord sat up straighter.

 

“I am sorry. I did not mean to upset you—” 

 

“He, it’s fine. I meant it in a good way.” Tom waved Tord off. Tord started to talk, but the movie started.

 

Tord was bored during the movie. It was some kind of action movie, but he couldn’t follow it. Tom, however, seemed to be very interested.

 

“Tom,” Tord whispered. Tord looked to his right—no one sat in the row with them.

 

Tord put his legs over the side of the chair and put his head on Tom’s shoulder.

 

“Tooom,” he groaned. 

 

“What?” Tom said, looking at Tord.

 

“I’m bored.”

 

“It’s starting to get good—”

 

“Booored,” Tord laughed. Tom sighed and shook his head.

 

“Tom—” Tord was cut off when he felt warmth against his lips.

 

“Are you still bored?” Tom whispered. Tord’s eyes were wide and his face was hot.

 

“I-I would be le-less bored if I could have more,” he smiled shakily. Tom laughed and kissed him again. Tom missed a lot of the movie, but Tord didn’t care.

 

Tord moved closer to Tom, but Tom stopped.

 

“Tord, you’re going to spill your drink.” 

 

Tord moved his drink to the other cup holder and put his head on Tom’s shoulder. Tom laughed, and Tord did too.

 

“I think we can sit here for a while.”

 

~

 

Tord walked out of the theater hand in hand with Tom. Tom threw away their trash and they went outside.

 

Edd and Matt could be seen standing by Tom’s car with bags in hand.    
  
“Hey Edd, Matt!” Tord shouted. They both turned to his direction, Tord waved.

 

“Hey, how was your movie?” Edd asked. Tord smiled brightly and Tom shrugged. 

 

“It was okay. The movie was boring though,” Tord chuckled. Edd raised a brow. 

 

“I’ll ask later,” he laughed. 

 

The boys got into Tom’s car and went to Edd’s house.

 

The drive wasn’t a long one, but it was mostly filled with Edd and Matt talking about people they saw at the mall. As Tom pulled into Edd’s driveway, the boys grabbed their bags and headed inside. There, Tom and Tord exchanged phone numbers.

 

Edd made dinner for the four: ramen with grilled cheese and french fries.

 

Tord’s phone started to ring as they ate. 

 

“Hello?” Tord said. He jumped when he heard his father’s voice.

 

“Hello. How was your movie?” Paul asked. His English was jagged and rough, and he sounded uncomfortable.

 

“It was fine. I can’t remember what it was about, though,” Tord laughed. Edd and Matt watched in as as Tord spoke in Norwegian, while Tom looked confused. 

 

“Ah, I see. Money wasted on nothing, eh?” Paul chuckled. “Are you ready to come home?” he asked. Tord looked at his friends.

 

“A little while longer? We made dinner here,” Tord begged.

 

“As long as you come home,” Paul said. “Just call and tell Patryck when you’re ready to go home.” Paul talked to someone, who Tord assumed to be Patryck.

 

“You got it!” Tord said happily.

 

“Love you, Tord,” his father said in English.

 

“Jeg elsker deg,” Tord responded. He put his phone away as his father hung up.

 

“It’s so cool listening to you talk,” Edd said in awe. Tord shrugged. 

 

“I thought the same about English when I first heard someone speak it fluently.” Tord laughed. Tom stared at him quizzically.

 

“What is it, Tom?” 

 

Tom looked up at Tord.

 

“What was that last part? The ‘ya eska da’ thing?” he asked. Tord laughed at Tom’s pronunciation.

 

“Jeg elsker deg?” he asked. Tom nodded.

 

“It means, ‘I love you’,” Tord smiled, which made Tom blush.

 

“That’s cool. So is deg like ‘you’ in Norwegian?” Matt asked. Tord shrugged.

 

“I guess it depends on what you are saying,” Tord shrugged.

 

“You should teach us Norwegian!” Edd exclaimed. Tord put his hands up.

 

“Let me learn English, First,” he chuckled. “At it is ‘deg’ with an ‘eg’, not ‘da’ with an ‘a’” Tord pointed out.

 

“Wait, ‘eg’ makes an ‘a’ sound?” Matt asked. Tord shrugged once more.

 

“I think it depends on the word, sometimes it makes an ‘i’ sound.” Tord thought for a moment.

 

“Either way, that’s really cool!” Edd laughed. Tord smiled as he took a bite out of his grilled cheese.

 

“Thank you.” He was genuinely happy for once. These boys felt like home to Tord.

 

“Hey Tord, how much time do you have before you go home?” Tom asked—he obviously had rearranged himself and was now more collected.

 

“Whenever I text my dad, but probably before eleven,” Tord said. Edd looked at his phone.

 

“Well, it’s only seven—”

 

“Ice skating!” Matt yelled, making everyone jump. 

 

“What? Matt, it’s probably closed by now.” Tom shook his head.

 

“Please?” Matt whined and looked over to Tord.

 

“Have you ice skated before?” he asked. Tord scoffed sarcastically.

 

“Of course, Matt! I’m from Norway!” Tord smiled. “I used to love ice skating. It has been a few years though.” Tord looked to Edd.

 

“Please, Edd?” he asked. Edd typed something on his phone.

 

“There’s an ice skating rink open until ten,” he said. He raised a brow at Tom. 

 

“You sure you don’t want to skate, Tom?” 

 

The three started at Tom, awaiting his answer. He sighed and threw his hands up.

 

“Whatever. Majority rules, anyway.” Tom shook his head. Matt and Edd high-fived and Matt pulled Tord in for a hug. Tord jumped at first, but laughed. Tom shook his head.

 

“You guys are going to kill me.” he smiled.

 

The drive wasn’t an incredibly long one, but it was a loud one. 

 

Matt sat in the front once more, but the radio was on this time. Tom, Matt, and Edd all sang along to “Radioactive” by a band named Imagine Dragons. Tord smiled and laughed as the boys made silly faces and sang off key.

 

Matt paid for their entrance and the shoes, declaring that they all owed him later (even though he would deny the money).

 

Tord stood up on the ice and started to move. At first, he was a little wobbly, but he soon regained his balance. 

 

“Come on! Don’t leave me out here on my own!” he laughed. Matt seemed to take it as a challenge. He stood on the ice and raced over to where Tord stood. He did a stereotypical bow as if he was challenging the smaller boy to a duel.

 

With a hand behind his back, Matt skated away from Tord. 

 

“Edd! Tom! Come on already!” Matt said. Edd moved slowly on the ice as he moved to the center.  Tom held onto the railing.

 

“Tom, do you need help?” Tord asked. Tom scoffed. 

 

“No,” he said. He let go of the rail and tried to move forward. He fell. 

 

“Maybe a little help,” he mumbled as Tord made his way over. He held his hand out and Tom grabbed it. 

 

“No, put your feet like this and kind of just...push forward?” Tord reassured him. Tom nodded and started to move forward.

 

“Hey, there you go!” Tord smiled. Tom straightened himself out and looked down at Tord.

 

“I probably still need your help,” he admitted. Tord smiled and stood on his top-toes, their noses touching.

 

“Catch me,” he whispered. He laughed and skated away.

 

“Tord!” Tom yelled. Edd and Matt laughed as well. 

 

“Come on, Tom, you’ll be fine. I’ll come back if you fall.” Tord smiled sweetly. Tom growled as he started to move. Slowly, he made his way to the three. 

 

“You guys are assholes,” he huffed. The boys laughed. 

 

“You’re learning,” Tord said. 

 

“Mhm, whatever.” Tom grumbled. His eyes widened as he slipped, but Tord caught him.

 

“I am starting to think that you are very clumsy.” Tord smiled down at a blushing Tom.

 

“This is dumb.”

 

“Whatever.” Tord laughed as Tom regained his balance. Matt laughed as Edd rolled his eyes with his own smirk.

 

“Are you two done looking into each other’s eyes?” Edd laughed. Both Tom and Tord looked at Edd.

 

“Oh, shut up,” Tom grumbled. Tord smiled.

 

“But what is up with your eyes?” Tord asked. Tom shook his head.

 

“Long story.”

 

The four skated for a while, Tom slowly learning how to stay balanced and move gracefully (but not really). It was nine thirty when they were all tired. They returned the skates and made their way to Tom’s car.

 

“Here, I’ll drop off Matt, then Edd, and then Tord,” Tom said. “Matt, you still live near the front of the neighborhood, right?” Tom asked. 

 

“Yup,” Matt yawned. Tom nodded and started the car.

 

Matt fell asleep up front—to everyone’s surprise. Even though they were tired, it seemed as if it was too early to sleep. Tord started out the window while Edd and Tom talked.

 

Matt got off after Tom beeped his horn three times to wake him up. Edd was dropped off, and Tord moved to the front.

 

“Where do you live?” Tom asked. Tord told him the address. 

 

“You live the farthest from the bus stop,” he said. “You know I could pick you up.” Tord shook his head.

 

“I do not like to be late,” he laughed. Tom smiled.

 

“Makes sense.”

 

“It’s this house, up here,” Tord said. Tord pointed to the house down the road and Tom nodded.

 

“Hey, Tom?” Tord said. Tom looked over.

 

“Thanks for inviting me.  It was the most fun I’ve had in awhile.” he smiled. Tom did, too.

 

“I’m glad.” Tom smiled. He watched Tord.

 

“You know, I almost don’t want to go home yet.” Tord laughed at Tom’s statement. Tom grinned.

 

“Me either,” Tord responded.

 

Tom leaned over and kissed Tord. Tord melted into it—oh, he enjoyed it very much.

 

“Next time, maybe just you and me,” Tom whispered. Tord nodded.

 

“Okay, I’ll see you Monday.” Tom squeezed Tord’s hand.

 

“You too,” Tord said. Tord closed Tom’s door and started walking up to his door. He waved to Tom and knocked on his door.

 

“Tord! You never called! Did you walk?” Patryck asked. Tord shook his head. 

 

“They gave me a ride.” Patryck nodded and locked the door behind Tord.

 

“So I take it that you’re not hungry?” Patryck asked. Tord shook his head. 

 

“No, I’m going to shower and go to bed,” Tord yawned. Patryck nodded. 

 

“Don’t take too long,” he said. Tord assured him that he wouldn’t, then retreated upstairs.

 

Tord took a longer shower than usual: he was thinking of Tom’s kisses—and then soap dripped into his eyes.

 

Tord finished up his shower and wrapped his towel around his waist. He walked down the hall to his room. He stopped at his door, though, when he heard his parents talking downstairs.

 

“You think he’s happy? Was this the right choice?” He heard Patryck say. Paul’s voice spoke up. 

 

“Pat, calm down. I see him as much as you do and he looks fine to me.” His deeper, slower voice almost sounded primitive compared to Patryck’s.

 

Tord opened the door to his room, finding uninterest in the conversation. He got dressed for bed: an extra large shirt and his boxers. He crawled under his comforter and plugged his phone in. He placed his phone face down on the nightstand and rolled over. 

 

_ Buzz buzz. _

 

Tord grumbled and rolled back over. He glared at the bright screen and turned the brightness down. He tapped on the notification.

 

_ hey tord, it’s me, tom _

 

Tord’s heart skipped a beat.

 

_ Hey Tom _ . he responded.

 

_ ha i didn’t think you were still awake _

 

Tord smiled as they messaged back and forth. It felt like they were talking for merely ten minutes, but when Tord looked at the time, it was one in the morning.

 

_ hey tord, you tired?  _ Tom asked. Tord pondered his response, not wanting to end their talk.

 

_ Kind of. Barely though. _ He responded. 

 

_ ha, i’m about to pass out. _

 

Tord smiled. It was late. 

 

_ Go to bed. We can talk tomorrow. _

 

_ but it already is tomorrow _

 

Tord rolled his eyes and giggled. 

 

_ We can talk later today. _

 

_ ugh alright _

 

Tord frowned at the departure, but he was tired, too. He turned off his phone and fell asleep. That was a great start to his weekend. 


	4. Chapter 4

7 November

 

“Tord! Don’t forget your lunch!” Patryck yelled after Tord. The small teen turned around and grabbed the bag.

 

“Thanks, dad,” he smiled. He hugged both parents and ran out the door.

 

Tord half ran to the bus stop. By the time he was there, the last kid was boarding the bus.

 

“Sorry,” Tord mumbled to the driver as he showed his ID. The driver grunted and closed the door.

 

“Tord! There you are!” Edd smiled. “How was your weekend?” he asked. Tord shrugged as he sat next to Tom. 

 

“Definitely a good one,” he smiled. “How was your guys’?” 

 

“Mine was fun! Mom had me puppy-sit a friend’s dog. It was so cute,” Matt swooned. Edd and Tord laughed while Tom smiled.

 

“I had to look for Ringo last night—he got out again. I didn’t find him until eleven!” Edd whined. Edd looked to Tom.

 

“Are you going to tell us what happened or mope about your car?” Edd teased. Tom glared t him.

 

“What happened to your car?” Tord asked Tom. He sighed. 

 

“My dad got his totaled and took mine instead of getting his fixed or getting a new one. Fucker’s going to get it repoed,” he growled. Tord raised a brow.

 

“But how? Do you have insurance?” Edd and Matt laughed at Tord’s pronunciation. 

 

“My dad had his license revoked for a DUI charge almost a year ago. A few months ago he was arrested for another DUI, but his time was shortened until he almost crashed into a school on his way home after someone T-boned him after he ran a four way stop sign intersection. We can’t afford insurance because he’s a fucking idiot,” Tom explained. Tord stared in shock.

 

“Jeez, that is bad driving,” he said.

 

“No shit,” Tom growled. Tord laced his fingers with Tom’s, and Tom’s grimaced softened. 

 

The boys got off the bus and walked over to first hour. They waited outside until the bell rung.

 

All four boys sat apart in class, which was bad for Tord because he had no one to help him translate. 

 

“Tom, let’s go straight to P.E. today,” Tord said. Tom sighed. 

 

“Then walk with Matt and Edd. They’ll be on time.” Tom groaned. Tord rolled his eyes.

 

“Or you could be on time with me.” He pushed.

 

“How about no?” Tom said with false enthusiasm. Tord sighed.

 

“Tom?”

 

“What?”

 

“Please?” 

 

“No.” 

 

“Pretty please?” Tord cried. 

 

“Whatever,” Tom grumbled. Tord smiled and walked with Tom to second hour.

 

Their little dilemma almost made them late, but they entered before the bell rung.

 

They walked into the locker room with the other boys and changed out.

 

Today was weight lifting, a day that Tord did not like. He was smaller than all the boys and couldn’t lift as much as some of them. Tom reassured him that no one cared, but Tord still thought so. 

 

Classes that day were mild, but Tord wanted to forget about lunch.

 

The four boys sat at the same spot that they usually did, but today, unexpected guests arrived. 

 

“Hey, ginj, what did you bring me today?” Eduardo asked. Matt shook his head. 

 

“Nothing, Eduardo.” Matt rolled his eyes. Edd grumbled and Tord glared. 

 

“What do you want, Eduardo?” Edd sighed. Eduardo started to respond, but his eyes landed on the red clad teen.

 

“New kid, eh? Why don't you come hang out with us and ditch these losers?” Eduardo asked. Tord tensed up. 

 

“I would rather not,” Tord said. A tinge of disgust was in his voice. 

 

“You say that now, but you'll realize how lame these douche bags are soon enough.” Eduardo scoffed. He left in the direction of the cafeteria. 

 

“That was?” Tord asked. Edd rolled his eyes. 

 

“My neighbor, Eduardo.” Edd sighed. 

 

“He’s a dick,” Tom growled. 

 

“Don't call him that. He's just rude,” Edd mumbled. Tom raised a brow. 

 

“He drinks diet Cola, Edd.”

 

“I know! Who enjoys that crap?” Edd slammed his hands down on the table. Matt picked up his travel cup so it didn't spill. 

 

The boys spent lunch discussing how Eduardo and his friends were dicks (except Jon. Jon wasn't bad at all).

 

Tord went to his classes, then went to his normal room for seventh hour, but jumped when he saw a person standing there. 

 

“Uh, hello?” Tord asked. He relaxed when he saw Tom’s face. Tom waved. 

 

“So this is your hideout?” Tom chuckled. “It's not much.”

 

“I know, but it doesn't need to be much. I really only play piano in here.”

 

“Oh, that's right.” Tom opened the door and made his way to the piano bench. “You play piano.”

 

“Yeah.” Tord sat next to him.

 

“How long?” Tom whispered as Tord started to play. 

 

“I can't remember. I long time,” Tord mumbled. “But what I do know? The security guard is going to be here in a few minutes to drop by; hide.” Tord laughed. He kissed Tom on the cheek as his face contorted into confusion. 

 

“What?”

 

“Hurry!” Tord nudged him. Tom grabbed his bag and hid. 

 

“Hey, kid,” the older man said as he closed the door. Tord stopped playing and smiled. 

 

“Hi, Mr. Jonas,” Tord said. 

 

The two talked for a few minutes before Mr. Jonas said his goodbyes

 

“You can come out now,” Tord said. Tom emerged from behind boxes. 

 

“Jeez, I thought you would never shut up,” Tom groaned. Tord laughed. 

 

“Whatever.”

 

Tom watches as Tord’s go fingers flew over the keys ever-so-gracefully. 

 

Tom places his hand on Tord’s arm. Tord looked at him and squeaked when Tom's lips met his. Tord relaxed and warmed into it. 

 

Tord turned so that his body faced Tom; Tom did as well. 

 

Tom places his hands on Tord’s hips and Tord wrapped his arms around Tom’s shoulders. 

 

Tom’s hands started to slide up Tord’s shirt. Tom started to redirect his kisses, first moving to Tord’s jawline, then his neck. Tord pulled away. 

 

“Tom, I can't—” his system was cut off with a moan.

 

“Yeah baby?” Tom whispered against Tord’s neck. 

 

“Tom, hold on.” Tord put his hands on Tom's chest and pushed him back. 

 

“I’m sorry, but not here.” Tord smiled weakly. Tom smiled and pecked him on the lips. 

 

“No worries,” he said. “The bell’s about to ring anyway. 

 

Tord checked his phone and was surprised to see that Tom was right. 

 

Tom stood and grabbed his backpack. He picked up Tord’s and handed it to him.

 

“You really need to loose some stuff,” Tom grunted as he picked up Tord’s backpack. Tord rolled his eyes. 

 

“It’s mostly notes,” he said. Tom laughed.

 

“I have like all the same classes as you and my backpack isn’t nearly that heavy.” he pointed out. Tord sighed in defeat.

 

“Whatever,” Tord smiled. Tom laughed and the boys left. 


	5. Chapter 5

14 November

 

Tord walked off the bus with his friends. Tord shot glances up at Tom, and would occasionally catch Tom looking back. Tord giggled as Tom blushed. 

 

First hour wasn't too bad, and the teacher had partner groups of four for a reading assignment. Of course, Tord and the boys got in a group together and mostly messed around will Tord and Edd did the work together. 

 

“Tord, what part of the book did you read?” Edd asked. Tord looked up from the paper that he was filling out for himself and Tom, while Edd filled out one for him and Matt. 

 

“I read most of it, just not the beginning,” Tord said, not looking up from his work. “I started reading once they were moved to the ghetto.”

 

“Good, because I didn't read the last part when the allies came.” Edd scribbled something on paper. 

 

“But that is almost the most interesting part!” Tord looked up. Edd shrugged. 

 

“I didn't have time,” he said. 

 

“Nerds,” Tom said. Matt laughed as he scrolled on his phone. 

 

“The nerds are the one doing your work.” Edd pointed out. 

 

“I could do it on my own,” Matt whined. Edd rolled his eyes. 

 

“Yeah, you  _ could _ , but you're not,” Edd said. Tord laughed and Matt whined. 

 

Tord and Edd finished the worksheets right as the bell rang. The boys gathered their things and headed to P.E. 

 

P.E. was another PACER day, where yet again Tom and Tord battled it out. This time Tord made it to one hundred and six while Tom made it to one hundred and five. 

 

History was more about WWII stuff, which Tord found interesting, but Matt kind of just glazed over it. 

 

Fourth hour was fun for Tord, it was a rest day/free day. Tord played some old concertos that he could remember. He smiled to himself as the class hushed down to hear his playing. Mr. Stevens watched him diligently. 

 

Lunch came, and when Tord opened his mouth to talk about fourth hour, Matt slammed his tray on the bench.

 

“What did I do to deserve this?” he said dramatically. Tom sat down next Tord and Edd rolled his eyes.

 

“What happened now?” Edd chuckled. Matt glared at him.

 

“Do you not see this? This is  _ gross _ ! Look at this slob that they serve  _ children. _ ” Matt waved towards the school lunch.

 

“What happened to your lunch?” Tord asked. Matt stabbed the mashed potatoes with his spork.

 

“I forgot it at home.” He grimaced as he shoveled the potatoes into his mouth. Edd laughed while Tord stared confused.

 

“It doesn’t look that bad,” he said. Matt glared at him.

 

“Do  _ you _ want it?”

 

“Not really.”

 

“Then shush.” Matt growled, and threw his hands up. “You know what, I’m not even hungry!” He crossed his arms. Edd rolled his eyes.

 

“Eat, drama queen.”

 

“What are you crying about now?” Tom grumbled as he sat himself next to Tord. Matt shot daggers at him.

 

“The hell did I do?”

 

“Matt has to eat school lunch,” Edd giggled. Tom raised a brow.

 

“And?”

 

“You don’t understand!” Matt placed the back of his wrist on his forehead dramatically. “I would  _ never  _ eat this slop if I didn’t have to! I actually appreciate my body, thank you very much.” 

 

“Matt, be thankful you have food. Tom lives off Tord’s carrots for god’s sake!” Edd motioned to Tom, who was indeed opening the back of carrots Tord had handed to him. Tom blushed.

 

“I like carrots!” 

 

“No one said you didn’t,” Edd wiggled a brow, “why are you blushing?”

 

“Shut up, Edd!”

 

The boys laughed as they continued their lunch, Tord still confused as to why Tom blushed about carrots.

 

Tord and Edd waved to Matt and Tom who went to their respective fifth hour buildings. Tord never really enjoyed math, not to mention that the teacher rarely paid him any attention and his classmates were jerks.

 

Tord walked into sixth hour with Edd and sat at his station with Tom. He picked up the paper and read briefly over it, but didn't pay attention to anything written. He looked at the materials that were on his table. A plastic soda bottle, a small cup, hydrogen peroxide, yeast, water on a burner, and dish soap.

 

Tom sat next to Tord as Tord fiddled with the empty bottle. On the board, it said “Lab”. The teacher stood from her desk as the bell rang.

 

“In your bench partners, you will be following the instructions on the table. First bench to get it right will get an A on the midterm,” she sighed. She told the class to follow the instructions to the best of their ability.

 

“Tom, I don’t know what some of these things are,” Tord said. Tom raised a brow and inspected the packet. 

 

“Get the thermometer and make sure that the water is at forty-two degrees celsius,” Tom said. Tord took the thermometer after Tom pointed it out and put it in the water. It was at thirty five degrees celsius.

 

“No one else is doing this,” Tord said. Tom rolled his eyes.

 

“I know what I’m doing. It’s not warm enough for the dry yeast. Turn the burner up,” Tom said. Tord did as he was told. 

 

Tom pushed the instructions to the side. “Now measure out one hundred and nineteen milliliters of hydrogen peroxide,” he instructed. He nudged the hydrogen peroxide towards Tord. “Now put that in the bottle,” he said. Tord used the funnel to do so.

 

“Boys! Where are your goggles?” the teacher yelled at them. Tord apologized and put his on while Tom just left them hanging around his neck. 

 

“Now put fifteen milliliters of dish soap in the bottle,” Tom said. Tord did so. “Is the water at temperature?” Tom asked. Tord checked it.

 

“Yeah,” he affirmed. Tom nodded. He laughed a little as the teacher shook her head and the flat concoctions that students were making. 

 

“Put some water into the small cup and mix the yeast packet for like thirty seconds,” Tom instructed. Tord did so once again.

 

“Now pour the yeast and water into the soda bottle,” Tom smiled as he said it. Tord put the funnel and poured the yeast into the bottle. 

 

Immediately, the bottle filled with foam. 

 

“Føkk deg!” Tord shouted, jumping away. The teacher turned around quickly and Tom laughed.

 

“Hva i helvete!” Tord moved behind Tom, who was laughing way to hard. The teacher walked over.

 

“Good job, you guys did it—” 

 

“Hva skjer?” Tord said. The teacher blinked at him.

 

“Uh, excuse me?” she laughed slightly.

 

“Dra meg baklengs inn i fuglekassa!” Tord sat down. “Dette var prosjektet?” Tord whined. The class laughed and the teacher returned to the front.

 

“Tom and Tord, you both will receive an A on the midterm. This experiment is also known as elephant’s toothpaste…”

 

Tord stopped paying attention and took off his goggles. He took a shaky breath. His anxiety was through the roof. Not only was he taken by surprise, he was laughed at. Tom raised a brow. 

 

“You okay?” he asked. Tord nodded. 

 

“Y-yeah. I was just surprised.”

 

The teacher continued class talking about exothermic reactions, but Tord didn't pay attention. He focused on the small circles that Tom traced on his hand with his thumb. Tom’s hands were warm but not clammy, which was nice. Tom really did help Tord. 

 

The bell rang and the boys packed their stuff up. 

 

“Jeez, Tord, what were you saying?” Edd laughed. Tord turned around to see the green clad teen smiling at him with Matt.

 

“Uh, a few swears, I guess,” Tord nervously chuckled. Matt and Edd smiled.

 

“See you on the bus, Tord.” Edd laughed. Tord nodded and huffed. 

 

“You sure you’re okay?” Tom asked as they packed up. Tord nodded.

 

“I’m fine,” he said with a shaky voice. “It just surprised me.”

 

Tom and Tord split up and Tord went to his room. 

 

Tord jumped when he saw the security guard already in there.

 

“Hi, Mr. Jonas.” Tord sighed. The older man turned around.

 

“Hello, Tord.” he smiled. He moved out of the way so that Tord could sit at his piano. 

 

Tord and Jonas talked for a while until the bell rang. Tord started to feel uneasy as he left school.


	6. Chapter 6

20 November 

 

Tord and Tom were starting to get a little more serious. Tom had taken Tord on plenty of dates in the time that they had been dating, and they had had many make out sessions. Today was no different.

 

After Mr. Jonas had left Tord in seventh hour, Tom entered through the room. The hour was started by Tord and Jonas’ conversation on apple juice, then to Tom watching Tord as he played piano. That was followed by Tom starting to give Tord small kisses on his neck and trail his hands around Tord’s body; this was followed by Tord stopping his piano playing to reciprocate Tom’s affection.

 

The bell rang and Tom grumbled in the kiss.

 

“It feels like there’s never enough time anymore,” Tom mumbled. Tord pushed him back and laughed.

 

“I think you’re just needy,” he said. Tom glared.

 

“I literally am missing my seventh hour to be with you and you call  _ me _ needy?” Tom pointed out. Tord shrugged nonchalantly.

 

“I’m not complaining, and I never said that I wasn’t.” Tom rolled his eyes at Tord’s point. He was right.

 

The boys rode the bus home, making small talk with Edd and Matt. Somehow the conversation turned into a “what age did you start to disappoint your parents” which turned into “who disappointed their parents first” and the entire conversation was just a circle of confusion for Tord who weakly attempted to participate.

 

The boys said their goodbyes and started to make their way towards their respective homes when Tom grabbed Tord’s hand.

 

“Hey, commie, you wanna go out tonight?” Tom asked. Tord raised a brow.

 

“Another date?”

 

“I was thinking more of a sneaking out kind of vibe, but yeah, a date I guess.” Tom smiled wickedly. Tord shrugged.

 

“Maybe if you stay up this time!” He critiqued Tom’s poor form after he fell asleep during their conversation a few nights ago.

 

“Tord, you know I didn’t intentionally fall asleep.” Tom rolled his eyes. “Please?”

 

“I’ll try.” Tord stood on his tiptoes to kiss Tom. “Text me when you get to my house, then, okay?” 

 

“Already planning on it,” Tom said as he kissed Tord back. The boys shared on last hug before departing. 

 

Tord unlocked his door and threw his backpack to the side. “I’m home!” he yelled.

 

He had dinner with his parents and went off to take a shower, thinking about Tom as he did so. What could the other boy possibly want to do in the middle of the night? 

 

Tord finished his shower, retreated to his room, and flopped onto his bed, not bothering to take off his towel or change into clothes. He pulled out his phone that was violently buzzing during his shower.

  
  


_ the quatros _

 

Matt: edd why did you change the group chat to that

 

colaLover: idk doesn’t it sound cool? like??? it’s like the trio but with four???

 

EDGELORD: damn it edd next time you change my kik username to edgelord im leaving

 

colaLover: you wouldn’t leave your BOYFRIEND here alone would you

 

EDGELORD: tord lets go were leaving this gc

 

Matt: tord please dont leave youre the only sane one here

 

colaLover: where is tord anyway???

 

EDGELORD: idk probably in the shower or something

 

Tord: How did you know??

 

colaLover: HE’S ALWAYS WATCHING TORD RUN

 

EDGELORD: wild guess tord

 

EDGELORD: edd shut the hell up wtf dude

 

Matt: you guys are an absolute headache im going to bed

 

Matt: goodnight guys

 

colaLover: might as well get off to because i don’t want to be on this gc with all of the gay gush that’s about to go down

 

EDGELORD: edd i bet youre gayer than me and tord combined

 

colaLover: i doubt it

 

colaLover: good night guys!!

 

Tord: Wow.

 

Tord: You wanna just text now?

 

EDGELORD: sure

  
  


Tord teased Tom about the username for a bit until he asked Tom what he was planning to do tonight. Tom refused to tell Tord any of the said plans, which almost pissed off Tord, but he could understand why Tom didn’t want to tell him. It was a surprise date.

 

It was 12:35 when Tord got the text.

 

_ babeeee im here _

 

Tord looked outside his window and saw the blue clad teen standing at the base of the tree that sat outside his window. Tord carefully removed the screen and put it to the side and climbed out. He hopped onto the tree in front of his window and climbed down.

 

“Hey,” Tord said, but he was cut off by Tom’s lips. Tord laughed as Tom smiled.

 

“I brought my car,” Tom said as he pulled away and led Tord to follow him.

 

“What about your dad?”

 

“I asked him to leave. He really couldn’t care,” Tom said. He smiled. “Which is  _ why _ we’ll go back to my place if we get caught. Seamless plan. We were sleeping over and dad said we could go to the diner, right? Perfect.” Tord laughed at Tom’s confidence. Tom opened the door to his car for Tord and closed it after him, getting in the driver’s side after. 

 

Tord was confused when Tom didn’t drive to a diner, but instead, a park. Tom smiled at his boyfriend as he pulled the keys out of the ignition. 

“Follow me,” he said as he got out of the car. Tord got out and followed the boy. 

 

Tom pushed aside some bushes and leaves that hung low on the trees as he walked. Tord was again more confused as to why they went to the greenery behind the park rather than the actual park. 

 

“Check this out, commie.” Tom smiled wickedly as Tord’s mouth fell agape. 

 

It was a small lake, more like a pond, really. It was surrounded by trees except for the last opposite of where they emerged, which faced the city. The city lights shone upon the dark water with a beautiful glow. Damn it, Tom knew that Tord was a sucker for this kind of stuff. 

 

Tord pulled off his shoes and socks, the  rolled up his pant legs. Tom shook his head and laughed when Tord jumped at how cold the water was. Tom sat next to Tord, refusing to put his feet in the water. They sat and talked for a while.

 

After the pond, Tom drove Tord out to a small diner. Tord fell in love with it, not having been to many diners back in Norway.

 

They ordered pancakes to share while Tord had coffee and Tom had tea. The boys once again sat and talk, Tom being much more flirtatious. 

 

The boys made their way to Tord’s house after another two hours. They made out in Tom’s car for a good half hour before Tom started getting too touchy. 

 

“Babe, we can save this for another time. I don't want to do this in the passenger seat of your old ass car,” Tord chuckled into Tom’s lips. Tom rolled his eyes and groaned. 

 

“You had to wait until I was getting handsy to say that?”

 

“I could've waited even longer.” Tord smiled as he unlocked the car door.

 

“Tonight was awesome. Thank you a lot Tom, really. I mean it. I love you.” Tord gave the larger boy one last kiss before departing. He waited for the car to drive off before climbing back up the tree and into his window. He put the screen back in and flopped onto his bed, the warm feeling in his stomach making him smile. 

 

He loved this boy. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //WARNING: This chapter contains smut. This chapter is really just a filler and doesn’t contribute to the story. Feel free to skip.//

22 November

 

“See, with the oxidation number, some numbers have a free number, see?”

 

“Tom, are you listening?” Tord asked, annoyed. Tom smiled.

 

“I thought you needed help with this!” Tord glared at Tom, who shrugged.

 

“I do need help.” Tom said blankly. Tord dropped the textbook and his work on the floor. 

 

“Obvious that you do not need too much help,” Tord said in his broken English. Tom laughed.

 

“Hey,” he said.

 

Tom leaned over and kissed Tord. Tord blushed, but he didn’t stop the kiss. Tom tried to wiggle his tongue into Tord’s mouth, by Tord pulled away. 

 

“Tom, I can’t…” Tord said. Tom pulled away to look at Tord.

 

“What’s wrong?” Tom said. Tord blushed and looked away.

 

“I haven’t done anything like this before,” he mumbled. 

 

Tom grabbed Tord’s chin and held his eyes level with his black ones. 

 

“It’s okay. Tell me if you want to stop, okay? It’s fine that you’ve never done this before,” Tom kissed him, but pulled away. “It just puts a lot of pressure on me to do you good your first time, huh?” he laughed nervously. Tord nodded and closed his eyes slightly. They leaned in and kissed once more.

 

Tom started to push Tord down onto the bed. Tom positioned himself so that he cradled Tord’s hips. Tom pulled off his hoodie and pulled at the edge of Tord’s, signaling him to pull it off. 

 

“Tom.” Tord stopped him for a minute. Tom looked at him.

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“One of my parents might be home soon,” he said. Tom nodded, and he got up for a minute. Tord sat up to see what Tom was doing.

 

Tom locked the door and then went over to Tord’s stereo. There, he pulled out his phone and plugged in his phone, turning on Spotify; it wasn’t too loud, but it wasn’t quiet. Tom pulled out his wallet and pulled out two things. 

 

“What are those?” Tord asked. Tom looked up from his wallet.

 

“A little protection and some lube,” Tom said with a smirk. He placed the packets on the on the dresser and positioned himself back over Tord. He kissed Tord once more, and trailed his kisses down Tord’s neck. He found Tord’s sweet spot when he felt Tord jump a little and moan. He worked on that spot for a minute until Tord really started to moan.

 

“Tom, wait.” he pushed Tom away again. Tom looked lazily at Tord.

 

“Yeah?” he said. Tord swallowed. 

 

“Don’t leave any marks,” Tord said.

 

Tom smiled a bit. “You should’ve told me that a little while ago, norski,” he chuckled. Tord rolled his eyes.

 

“Whatever, then.”

 

Tom kissed Tord once again, but this time, he started to grind against Tord. Tord moaned a little into the kiss, and Tom smiled.

 

“You weren’t kidding when you said you hadn’t done this before,” Tom said. Tord blushed, embarrassed. 

 

“You’re my first  _ real  _ boyfriend,” Tord mumbled and looked away. Tom pecked his lips.

 

“It’s fine, it’s cute that you don’t know what to do.” he laughed. Tord looked back at Tom with his brows furrowed. 

 

“And how many times have you done this?” Tord questioned. Tom smiled goofily.

 

“You’ll be the first boy my age, if that means anything.” Tom smiled. Tord rolled his eyes.

 

“Whatever,” Tord smiled. He kissed Tom and wiggled his fingers into Tom’s belt loop and pulled Tom closer. 

 

Tom pulled off Tord’s hoodie and shirt, exposing a bare chest. Tom kissed down Tord’s neck and to his collar, going even further down to his chest, leaving hickeys as he went. Tord giggled at some points, and moaned the other times. Tord was slightly embarrassed, mostly because he wasn’t toned—he had a little bit of chub on his belly and he was pretty pale. He didn’t meet Tom’s eyes when Tom came back up. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Tom mumbled into Tord’s lips. He shook his head.

 

“I am not...attractive,” Tord said, ashamed. Tom looked at him, confused. 

 

“You’re beautiful Tord, I love every little bit of you.” Tom kissed Tord’s cheek. 

 

Tom wiggled his fingers into Tord’s belt loops and pulled them down. Tord held onto Tom while he did so, leaving little kisses along Tom’s neck. Tom laughed at Tord’s bright red boxers.

 

“You really like red, huh?” he laughed. Tord smacked his bicep.

 

“Oh, shut up!” he giggled. Tom kissed Tord and pulled his pants off all the way. Tom removed his belt and pulled off his pants, as well, to reveal gray boxers. He kissed Tord once again and grinded against Tord, and Tord covered his mouth to suppress his moan. Tom pulled his hands away.

 

“Be loud, commie, let me hear you.” Tom whispered into Tord’s ear. Tord removed his hands and moaned. It was almost too loud—almost loud enough to be heard over the music. Tom felt Tord’s thighs when he stopped for a moment. He pulled away from the kiss to look at Tord. Tord’s eyes widened.

 

“Tord, are these scars?” Tom asked. Tord was quiet for a moment.

 

“You will not hate me if I say yes, right?” Tord whispered. Tom shook his head, and Tord nodded his. Tom went down lower to Tord’s legs and began kissing each scar.

 

“Tom, what are you doing?” Tord half moaned the statement as Tom kissed his inner thigh. 

 

“Making sure you know that I love you,” Tom said, his lips moving against Tord’s thighs. Tord could feel Tom pulling at his boxers and could feel his boxers becoming tighter. 

 

“You can’t wait, can you?” Tom laughed. Tord blushed.

 

“Please?” he begged. Tom smiled.

 

Tom removed Tord’s boxers to reveal his length. Tom stroked it for a minute, grazing it at some points and being rough at other times. Tord moaned the entire time. 

 

“Tom, please.” Tord’s accent was thick—almost indecipherable.

 

“How much do you want it, norski?” Tom cooed. Tord started to become frantic. 

 

“A lot, Tom. I want you a lot.” Tord whined. Tom just laughed and grabbed for the packets off of Tord’s nightstand. He pulled down his own boxers to put the condom on and handed Tord the packet of lube. 

 

“What do I do with this?” Tord asked. Tom smiled. Without saying anything, Tom guided Tord’s hand down to his entrance. Tord’s face turned bright red. 

 

Tord opened the packet and squeezed some of the liquid onto his fingers. He applied it to himself and shivered. 

 

“It is cold,” he mumbled. Tom leaned down and kissed Tord.  

 

“You ready Tord?” Tom whispered. Tord nodded slowly. 

 

Tom started to push himself into Tord when Tord stopped.

 

“W-wait, Tom! Please,” Tord yelled, which made Tom jump.

 

“Jeez...what happened, Tord?” Tom muttered. Tord stared at Tom for a minute, embarrassed.

 

“Please be slow,” Tord whispered. Tom sighed and smiled. He leaned to give Tord a kiss as he started to move forward again. Tord took a deep breath as he felt Tom move in, and let out a loud moan and Tom moved back. Tom laughed.

 

“Damn, babe, didn’t think you were going to be  _ that _ loud,” he laughed. Tord moaned more as Tom started to move again. Tom’s breathing started to hitch as well.

 

“Wait, be quiet,” Tord sat up and wrapped his arms around Tom, who stopped. Outside they could hear a car door slam.

 

“I think that might be my dad,” Tord whispered. Tom nodded. 

 

“Does your dad barge in?” he asked quietly. Tord shook his head.

 

“Don’t worry. Just don’t be too loud and we’ll be fine.” Tom kissed Tord’s neck, making Tord let out a low mumbled moan. They continued.

 

Needless to say that that was a  _ damn  _ good night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //These next few chapters contain biphobia, mention of scars, a briefly implied suicide attempt, and dysfunctional family/non understanding. Please read with caution.//

29 November

 

Tord looked down at his phone, a feeling in his belly that he couldn’t ignore. He smiled as Tom’s message came through.

 

_ i love you so much baby, i wish that i was there with you right now _

 

Tord’s heart skipped a beat as he read the line.

 

_ You do, huh?  _ He responded. He scrolled up through the rest of their messages. Some of them were cute and innocent, some were dirty (much like the direction that this one was heading), and others were just normal, everyday conversations. 

 

Tord and Tom went back and forth for a while, Tord giggling every once and awhile.

 

“Tord!” a voice yelled.

 

“Yeah?” Tord yelled back, his voice cracking a little. He turned off his phone quickly and pushed it under his blanket when his father walked into the room.

 

“What are you doing? You are supposed to be sleeping,” Paul said in Norwegian. Tord gulped. 

 

“Uh...just setting an alarm,” Tord pulled his phone out from under the blanket and unlocked it, showing his father his alarms. Paul took the phone for a moment and looked through the alarms, he nodded and started to hand the phone back when a message came through.

 

_ ‘Shit’ _ , Tord thought. 

 

“Who is Tom?” Paul looked up at Tord. Tord stared for a moment. 

 

“A-a friend,” he stuttered. He watched as his father tapped the message. He watched as his father’s brows furrowed and he scrolled up. Tord almost grabbed the phone back, but he knew that he’d be in much more trouble that way. 

 

“Go downstairs,” Paul said quietly. Tord nodded and started to get up, but he didn’t leave the bed.

 

“Go, what are you waiting for?” Paul growled. Tord closed his eyes and got out of bed, knowing that his scars were obviously visible. He grabbed for a pair of sweats, but his father grabbed his wrist. 

 

“Let’s go,” he said quietly, but Tord could hear the anger that was behind it. Tord sighed and followed his father downstairs.

 

“Patryck! Get over here, now!” Paul yelled. 

 

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Patryck’s voice could be heard coming from the kitchen. Paul grumbled as he pointed to the armchair that was across from the couch. Tord sat. 

 

“Now, Patryck, it’s important!” The Norwegian was a harsh sound to Tord’s ears, who had started to become accustomed to English. 

 

“What is it?” Patryck said impatiently as he emerged from the kitchen. His eyes landed on Tord.

 

“Tord, what are you doing up—” 

 

“We need to have a talk with him,” Paul interrupted. Patryck looked at Paul, then to Tord and nodded. He sat on the couch with Paul.

 

Paul and Patryck were silent as Paul showed his husband the messages. At some points, Patryck’s eyebrows shot up, and other times he covered his mouth. He stared at the phone. After a few minutes, he looked up at Tord, a blank expression on his face.

 

“Who is Tom?” he said, but the blankness of his voice made it sound almost like a statement. Tord swallowed nervously.

 

“A-a—” 

 

“Don’t you dare say friend,” Paul interrupted. “Friends don’t talk like this,”

 

“He’s my...boyfriend,” Tord mumbled. Even though his parents were gay, it didn’t mean that Tord was ready to come out yet. Matter of fact, he didn’t even  _ know  _ if he was gay. As far as he was concerned, he was attracted to women. Not as much as men, but he was still attracted.

 

“So you’re gay?” Patryck asked. Tord shook his head.

 

“Not...not necessarily,” he said. He watched as both Paul and Patryck’s faces moved into confusion.

 

“But you’re obviously not straight,” Paul said. Tord looked away.

 

“I like both, I guess,” Tord couldn’t meet his fathers’ eyes.

 

“What do you mean?” Paul said. Tord winced at the harshness of his voice.

 

“I’m...I like boys and girls,” Tord said, his voice small.

 

“That’s not how it works—” Paul began to say, but Patryck laid a hand on his leg. 

 

“Stop, Paul,” he said. “Leave him alone.” Paul turned, his eyes wide.

 

“It’s obvious that he’s confused—”

 

“Maybe he’s not, Paul,” Patryck’s eyes narrowed. “Give him time.” 

 

“Fine,” Paul mumbled. Tord started to stand, but was spoken to immediately. 

 

“Where do you think you’re going? We’re not done,” Paul grumbled. Tord sat back down.

 

“You’re grounded,” Paul said. Tord’s eyes widened.

 

“Why?” he yelled, but covered his mouth as both of his parent’s eyes widened. 

 

“You shouldn’t be talking to  _ anyone  _ like this. You are a child, not to mention that  _ we _ haven’t even met this boy. Again, you have a lot more explaining to do.” Paul said sternly. Tord clenched his fists in anger, but took a breath.

 

“I don’t have any more to say about Tom, you’ll just have to meet him for yourself.” 

 

“It’s not about this boy, it’s about those scars,” Paul said. Patryck looked away from Tord, and Tord watched as Patryck took Paul’s hand. 

 

“What about them.” Tord said blandly. At this point, he wasn’t happy with his father, Paul, and he wanted nothing to do with him at this point. 

 

“What are they?” Paul said quietly, but his voice was perfectly comprehensible. 

 

“What do they look like to you?” Tord shouted, making Patryck whip his head up to look at Tord, and making Paul sit up straighter. 

 

“Don’t yell at me—” Paul started, but Tord cut him off.

 

“They’re scars now, what do they matter to you? I stopped, it doesn’t matter anymore! If you have a problem with it, oh well, because there’s  _ nothing that I can do about it _ . They are here and  _ they are here to stay _ ,” Tord screamed. Paul stood up.

 

“Shut your damn mouth and have some respect,” he growled. Patryck stood up as well and grabbed Paul’s arm. Patryck stood much taller than Paul, but his lanky frame was nothing to Paul’s sturdier, broader one.

 

“It’s not like you ever noticed before, so why do you care! God, you’re such an asshole, Paul!” Tord stood to face his father. Patryck shook his head. 

 

“Tord, stop, we’ll deal with this later—” 

 

“No, I want this to stop. It’s not like Paul actually does anything to emotionally support his kid! But why would he? It’s not like I’m his actual ‘blood family’, it’s not like I’m important! I’m just some kid to him! Matter of fact, to you, too! It’s not like you would care if I died! You don’t even know how close you were to not having a son anymore!” Tord yelled, tears streaming down his face profusely. Both Paul and Patryck stared at their son, shock and hurt plastered against their face. Tord wiped his tears away and ran upstairs.

 

He opened his door and grabbed his sweats and a jacket. He also grabbed socks and shoes and slid them on quickly. He grabbed his keys off his nightstand and went back downstairs. Paul and Patryck looked back at him coming down.

 

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Paul said. Tord didn’t look at him as he walked to the front door.

 

“Anywhere that’s far enough from you,” he shot back. Tord jerked open the door and slammed it behind him. He was met with frost hitting his bare face and a strong wind. He locked the door behind him and shoved the keys into his pocket and started to make his way to Edd’s house. 

 

Tord stared at the  _ Welcome _ mat that stood at the door. He was freezing, and could feel the frozen tears on his face. He had walked through snow and freezing winds to go the few streets down he needed to, but he didn’t have the guts to knock.

 

But he did anyway.

 

Nothing happened, and Tord was tempted to just go to Matt’s house, but the door opened, and the familiar boy stood in front of him. Tord looked at Edd, who was only an inch taller than him, but was much chubbier. He said nothing.

 

“Tord?” Edd said, drowsily. Tord didn’t look up to meet his eyes.

 

“God, Tord, what are you doing out here? You’re going to freeze to death!” Edd shouted, and pulled Tord inside. 

 

“Tord, are you okay?” Edd turned Tord around, but was shocked when he saw Tord’s bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. 

 

“God, Tord, what happened?” Edd said as he pulled Tord in for a hug. The larger male’s embrace was much needed for Tord, and Tord broke down in his arms. 

 

Edd took Tord to his kitchen and sat him down on a barstool at the island. 

 

“Do you want something to drink? Tea, coffee, water?” Edd asked, worry laced in his voice. Tord sniffled.

 

“Coffee, please,” he muttered. Edd nodded, turning around to the coffee pot.

 

“Tord, what happened? Why didn’t you call?” Edd asked. Tord shrugged shamefully.

 

“Well, I don’t have a phone right now, I screamed in my dad’s face, and I walked out the house without permission or telling my parents where I was going; I am not in the best conditions right now,” Tord mumbled. Edd turned around.

 

“Why did you just walk out? Tord, there are freezing temperatures right now!” Edd said sternly. His voice softened when he saw the hurt on Tord’s face.

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just that you worry me sometimes, Tord,” he chuckled sadly. Tord shook his head.

 

“I am sorry, friend. I am not a good friend,” Tord’s voice cracked. Edd set the blistering hot coffee in front of Tord, and before he could warn Tord that it was hot, Tord picked up the mug and started to down the coffee. Edd jumped up.

 

“Tord, what the hell?” Edd said. Tord put down the mug, which was half empty. He coughed.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Edd said, taking the mug away. Tord looked up, eyes wide.

 

“I am sorry it is just…” his voice was not only thick with an accent, it was also extremely weak. His voice cracked and it was scratchy. It was obvious that he really burned himself.

 

“Do you need me to call Tom? Would it make it easier for you to talk?” Edd asked softly. Tord looked up sadly.

 

“I am sorry, Edd, I do not mean to be a problem for you—” 

 

“Don’t call yourself a problem, Tord. You’re not a problem, you’re my friend. I want to help you.” Edd said. He walked around the island and gave Tord a hug, which Tord returned. Edd walked into the living room where the landline phone was. Tord could hear him speak softly to the phone and hear the pauses in between words. A few minutes later and Edd was back.

 

“Tom is on his way,” Edd said to Tord. 

 

“Thank you very much, my friend. I am so sorry that I am here so late but I did not know where to go—” 

 

“Tord, it’s fine, really. My parents won’t be back home until next weekend.” Edd smiled softly. “You want to try drinking that coffee again, this time without drowning yourself in it?” he smiled. Tord smiled slightly back and nodded. Edd grabbed the mug and handed it again to Tord. He took a small sip from the mug.

 

A loud series of knocks could be heard, which made Tord and Edd jump.

 

“It’s probably Tom,” Edd said. 

 

“How far does Tom live?” Tord asked. 

 

“Kind of far, but he has a car and Tom doesn’t follow speed limit,” Edd shrugged. He went to the door and unlocked it. He opened it and lo and behold, there stood Tom. Tom looked tired and distressed. He stepped in and went for Tord as soon as his eyes landed on him. Tom threw his arms around Tord and the smaller boy buried his face in his neck. 


	9. Chapter 9

29 November

 

“Are you okay? I started getting livid messages from your parents,” Tom pulled away to look at Tord, who wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

 

“He hasn’t said much; except for small talk,” Edd came up from behind Tom. Tom looked at Edd, then back to Tord.  Tom pulled out his phone and went to messages.

 

_ Get rid of this number. _

 

_ Do not ever speak to my son again. _

 

_ Leave my son alone. _

 

Were just some of the messages that Tord saw. Tord tensed up and looked away. 

 

“I am sorry,” he mumbled. Tom handed his phone to Edd and Edd scrolled through, his eyes widening at some parts. 

 

“Why the hell are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.” Tom growled. Tord looked at Tom with worry.

 

“I did not mean to upset you—”

 

“You aren’t the one upsetting me!” Tom shouted. Edd looked up, surprised with his brows furrowed. Tord looked at Tom.

 

“I’m sorry, I was just so worried, I didn’t know where you were,” Tom leaned against the island. 

 

“Is Matt here?” Tom asked Edd. Edd shook his head.

 

“Why would Matt be here?” Edd asked. Tom took his phone back and scrolled to a certain message. He showed Edd and Edd’s eyes widened. 

 

“I think Matt’s the only one of us who can talk to him about that,” Tom mumbled. Edd nodded and Tord watched carefully.

 

“I’ll go call him. He’s probably asleep, though,” Edd mumbled. 

 

Tom looked back at Tord, who was watching him carefully. Tom cupped Tord’s face with his hands.

 

“Are you okay?” Tom whispered. Tord put his hands over Tom’s.

 

“I will be fine,” Tord whispered back. Worried washed over Tom’s face.

 

“You’re not just saying that, right? You mean that? We’re calling Matt over so you can talk to him,” Tom stared at Tord, his heart aching. Tord raised a brow.

 

“What do you mean, Tom? I am fine. Why are you calling Matt? What happened to Matt?” Tord leaned closer as his voice became more hushed.

 

“Tord, please don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about,” Tom laughed sadly. Tord pulled away.

 

“I do not know what you are talking about,” Tord said. Tom raised a brow, and pulled his phone out. He scrolled up until he found the message.

 

_ My son has scars, and if I find out that you caused them,  _

 

Tord didn’t finish reading the text before he pushed the phone away. 

 

“Tord—”

 

“No.” Tord said quietly.

 

“I already knew about—”

 

“That is not the point!” Tord shouted at Tom, which made Tom look away. “He does not have the right to do that! That is my secret to tell,” Tord looked at Tom with tears in his eyes. “You showed Edd that?” Tord’s voice started to crack and fade in and out again.

 

“Tord, you know that they’ll understand—”

 

“And now he will tell Matt that! And now I will have to find new friends because you will all think I am a freak and then rumor will get out and I will be lost again and I will...I will break! I do not want to break!” Tord cried. Tom’s eyes widened.

 

“No-no Tord, don’t think of it like that! Please, Matt will know what you’re going through. Uh, we won’t think of you like that.  _ I  _ don’t think of you like that. Look, I don’t know what you’re going through or how to deal with it, but Matt will, maybe even Edd. You won’t break,” Tom said as he got closer and his voice became quieter. “I promise, I won’t let you break,” 

 

“Matt will be here in a little while; he just woke up and is kinda confused…” Edd said. Tom turned around and Tord looked at Edd.

 

“Thank you, friends,” Tord said, resting his head on Tom’s arm. Edd smiled.

 

“Are you hungry? Do you need anything?” 

 

“Can I sit and watch the T.V.?” Tord asked. Edd smiled.

 

“Of course! I also convinced my mom to buy one of those Norwegian channels you were talking about; it was like seven pounds!” Edd laughed. He waved Tord and Tom to follow him. Tord sat on Edd’s red sofa in his room upstairs. Tom sat next to him, and Edd sat on his bed. 

 

“It’s channel six hundred fifty-two,” Edd said. Tord started at the remote for a minute, an embarrassed blush spreading across his face. Tom raised a brow and gently took the remote from his hands after Tord put the wrong numbers. Tord was good when the individual numbers were pronounced, but still didn’t get it when they were said in their standard form.

 

“Sorry,” Tord mumbled. Tom shook his head.

 

“It’s fine.”

 

Edd and Tom talked silently as Tord intently watched  _ Brennpunkt _ . 

 

“They talk so fast,” Edd mumbled. 

 

“Jeg ville gjette,” Tord said in Norwegian, but face palmed. “Sorry, I meant to say I guess,” Tord smiled slightly. Edd laughed and Tom smiled.

 

“It’s so cool when you speak Norwegian,” Edd said. 

 

“It’s funny when you just forget English. Remember that time in science when you did the experiment but it freaked you out and started yelling at the teacher and the project in Norwegian?” Tom laughed. Tord smiled and Edd laughed as well.

 

“I was stressing out! I did not know that it was going to explode into a poof!” Tord defended. Edd and Tom laughed even harder. 

 

“It didn't explode, you were the only one who made the elephant toothpaste right,” Edd pointed out. The boys nodded as the doorbell rang.

 

“There’s Matt, I’ll be right back,” Edd said, standing up. Tord grabbed his arm, nervous. What did he tell Matt? What was Matt going to think? Even if it didn’t seem like it, Tord was always trying to impress Matt. Everyone loved Matt—teachers, peers, Tord was pretty sure that Matt was the most liked in the friend group. Everyone loved Matt; Tord wished that he could be loved in the same way. 

 

“Hey Tom, I’m going to make everyone something to eat, can you come help?” Edd asked as the door opened. Tom sat up and nodded, stretching as he did so. Tord looked over at the door to see Matt and Edd standing there.

 

“Hello, Matt,” Tord said quietly. Matt gave him a soft smile. 

 

“How are you, Tord?” Matt asked softly. Tord was caught off guard; Matt wasn’t acting like his upbeat, high strung self. 

 

“I-I could be better,” Tord admitted. Matt sat on the couch with Tord, but didn’t look at him. 

 

“You know, it’s kind of awkward to just shove someone in a room with someone else with no context except a text message,” Matt laughed. Tord looked at Matt worriedly.

 

“Matt, are you okay?” Tord looked over at Matt worriedly. Matt leaned back slowly.

 

“I didn’t take my medication, if that’s what you’re implying,” he mumbled. Tord raised his brows.

 

“I did not know that you were on medication,” Tord titled his head.

 

“I’ve been on it for a few years. At this point I think I’m considered a guinea pig,” Matt laughed. “They’re constantly changing the meds.” he rubbed his eyes.

 

“Enough about me, Tord. What about you?” Matt looked over at Tord with a lazy glance. Tord sat up straighter.

 

“I do not think I am on medication,” Tord stammered. Matt laughed a little.

 

“No, silly, I’m talking about the message, the reason I’m up at—” he checked the time on his phone, “eleven forty-three,” he smiled. Tord nodded.

 

“I do not know why my dad said that,” Tord shrugged. “It is not as much as a problem as it used to be. I mean, I stopped a few months ago. Things have been going very well and I have not had a bad feeling to do it. But my dad saw the scars and flipped out. It kind of sucks for your dad to spill out all your secrets to someone he has never met, though,” Tord shrugged and looked away. 

 

“How’d he see?” Matt asked, picking at his nailpolish. 

 

“I was in bed and he took my phone while I was talking to Tom. He made me get out of bed and I was in my boxers,” Tord said. Matt nodded. 

 

“That kinda really sucks,” he gave Tord a sad smile. “I mean, I have scars too, but my parents haven’t ever seen them,” Matt said bluntly. Tord sat up straighter.

 

“You—” 

 

“Yeah, I  _ did _ . Edd caught sight of them once and told the counselor in eighth grade. But I’m lucky. My parents didn’t freak out, they took me to get help,” Matt sat up to look at Tord, who wouldn’t meet his gaze.

 

“Tord,” Matt said, trying to get Tord to look at him. “You aren’t alone. In anything. You can talk to me, Edd, or Tom,” Matt leaned closer. “The counselor is really nice at our school, and I’m sure she’ll love talking to you. You don’t even have to get a parent signature to talk to her, okay? You can stay late and just tell your parents you’re staying for tutoring. There are people who want to help you,” Matt smiled. Tord looked at Matt with tears in his eyes. 

 

“What about at home?” Tord said, his accent extremely thick now and his pronunciation completely wrong. Matt could feel pity as he looked down at the broken boy. This was a boy who didn’t deserve the pain that he was given.

 

“I can’t tell your parents that they’re doing their job right or wrong, but I can offer you a place to stay. I don’t think Tom or Edd would object to you staying with them for a few days, either.”

 

“I do not want to make you guys feel bad for me. I do not want you to think of me as a child! I do not want to have to use you as a safe place. I just want everything to be okay,” Tord felt the tears fall down his face and he looked away, extremely embarrassed. Matt sat back, not knowing what to say.

 

“Things aren’t always going to be the best, Tord, but you have to look towards the future. There will be better days if you wait for them,” Matt whispered. “It might take a few days, months, or more likely years. But they will come.” Matt touched Tord’s leg, but pulled his hand back after Tord flinched. 

 

“Let’s go downstairs, okay? Go see what concoction Tom and Edd tried to make,” Matt stood and held his hand out for the Norwegian boy who was drying his tears. 

 

“Yeah, I think I have cried enough for one night,” he laughed sadly. Tord took the ginger’s hand and followed him downstairs.

 

“Are you guys prepared to have the best fucking pancakes in your life?” Tom yelled out to them. Matt let go of Tord’s hand as the ginger sat at the island. Tord stayed in the doorway.

 

“Pancakes? At this time?” Tord asked. 

 

“Why not?” Edd laughed.

 

“Edd, you’re burning the pancakes!” Matt pointed out loudly, which made him sound like his normal self. Edd turned around and saw that the pancakes were indeed smoking.

 

“Edd!” Tom yelled as he mixed batter. Edd flipped the pancakes and revealed an almost black side.

 

“It wasn’t my fault! You turned the burner up to high!” Edd laughed. Tom grumbled.

 

“So it’s my fault?” Tom laughed. Tord laughed as well as Tom aggressively stirred the pancake batter. 

 

“I think midnight pancakes and a sleepover sound really nice tonight,” Matt commented. The other boys nodded and looked to Tord. “What do you think?” Matt asked. Tord nodded.

 

“I think it is a good idea, as long as we watch my Norwegian shows while we eat pancakes,” Tord laughed. The other three boys laughed along with him.

 

What started out as a bad night only got better, and being with his friends made Tord feel drastically better.


	10. Chapter 10

29 November

 

“Tord,” Tom nudged Tord. Tord grumbled and tried to roll over, but Tom’s arm wrapped around his waist. Tord looked back at Tom.

 

“Yes?” Tord mumbled. 

 

“Babe, I hate to say this but your parents are texting me,” Tom muttered. Tord shot up. 

 

“What?” he asked. Tom handed him his phone.

 

_ Where is my son? _

 

_ If you took Tord then the police— _

 

Tord took the phone and dialed his number. Tom watched carefully.

 

“Hello?” a voice answered. Tord took a deep breath.

 

“Dad, it’s me,” Tord said in Norwegian. Tom looked away.

 

“Where the hell are you?” Tord could tell that it was Paul on the other line. Tord grabbed Tom’s hand and squeezed it. 

 

“Can I talk to Patryck? I don’t want to talk to you,” Tord said cooly. Tom raised a brow, even though he couldn’t understand what Tord said, Tom could understand to tone of Tord’s attitude.

 

“You are in  _ big  _ trouble when you get home,” Paul growled. Tord rolled his eyes.

 

“ _ If _ I go home,” Tord responded. Tord could almost feel Paul’s anger radiating. 

 

“You get your ass home  _ now! _ ” he yelled.

 

“Let me talk to Patryck,” Tord responded calmly. He did not want to wake his friends or let Tom know that it was a bad conversation.

 

Tord could hear Paul yell for Patryck. The phone shifted over to someone else.

 

“Tord? Hello, Tord?” said a strained voice. Patryck spoke in English.

 

“Hi, dad,” Tord responded in English. A sigh of relief could be heard on the other end.

 

“Tord, where are you? Are you okay?” Patryck asked. Tord gave himself a sad smile as he listened to his father’s voice.

 

“I am fine, dad. I am just with some friends,” Tord mumbled. 

 

“Are you coming home?” a tinge of hurt could be heard, and Tord lowered his head in shame. He didn’t mean to upset his father.

 

“We love you, Tord, both Paul and I. We want to talk to you about last night,” Patryck said. Tord shut his eyes when he heard Paul’s name.

 

“I am upset with Paul right now, dad,” Tord said. He could feel Tom’s eyes shift to him when Tord said his other father’s name.

 

“I know, but you need to talk about this with him.” 

 

“He is so closed minded, dad! Everything I say he does not believe! Even if he is a little more loose, he is still as closed minded as other people,” Tord said, confused with his own wording. Patryck sighed.

 

“I know, but he’s scared, Tord. You scared both of us last night.” 

 

“He hates me,” Tord’s voice cracked. Tord could hear someone talking on the other end. 

 

“No! No, Tord he doesn’t hate you,” Patryck tried to say calmingly. “He’s just worried,” 

 

“All he talks about is his blood family, dad! I am not that to him...I do not mean anything to him,” Tord felt tears start to build up in his eyes, but he also felt Tom’s arms wrap around him. Tom lay his head on Tord shoulder, opposite the side where Tord held the phone. 

 

Tord could hear someone on the other side.

 

“Tord...I don’t hate you, I really don’t. You  _ are _ my son, blood or not. I...I am sorry for making you think that I hate you,” Paul said with what sounded like uncomfort in his voice. Tord sighed.

 

“I will be home later today. I still need some time to think,” Tord mumbled.

 

“Please be careful, Tord. We don’t want anything to happen to you,” Patryck said. Tord realized that the phone was on speaker phone.

 

“We will talk when you get home, it will not be like last night,” Paul said in English. His accent was thicker than Tord’s.

 

“O-okay. I love you guys,” Tord mumbled. His fathers responded back, and Tord hung up. He gave the phone back to Tom and lay his head back. Tord took a deep breath.

 

“That didn’t sound like it went  _ too _ bad,” Tom mumbled. Tord turned around to cuddle into Tom.

 

“I need to calm down,” his voice shook. He knew that now would not be a good time to admit his problem, but he had no other choice. He was shaking and couldn’t help it.

 

“Tom, do you have something I could smoke? Cigarettes, cigars, anything?” Tord whispered. 

 

“I don’t know, Edd’s dad might have some somewhere, I’ll ask Edd,” Tom said softly. He looked at Tord.

 

“You smoke?” he asked. Tord shuffled uncomfortably. 

 

“I tried to stop. I am not crazy about it, I do not smoke a pack a day or anything,” Tord tried to reassure Tom.

 

“I see,” Tom said. He nudged Tord a little bit so that he could stand and went upstairs to find Edd. Tord sat on the floor alone. He looked around. There were pictures of Edd’s family on the living room walls, and everything was so nicely put together. Tord sighed; his family never had the opportunity. No one in Norway would take them seriously. Even if they were married legally, the town they were from wasn’t the best one. 

 

“Hey, Edd’s dad had some cigars, I grabbed you two,” Tom said as he came down the stairs. Tord looked around to see his boyfriend.

 

“Do you have matches?” Tord asked. Tom held up a pack of matches. 

 

“Let’s go out back,” Tom waved for Tord to follow. Tord stood and rushed over to where the back door was, which led to a small backyard. Tom handed Tord the cigars and matches while he pulled out his own flask.

 

“You drink?” Tord asked. Tom nodded. 

 

“Yeah. Not as much as I used to, but yeah,” Tom said. Tord lit a cigar and put it to his lips. He took a breath inwards and the smoke helped him to relax.

 

“Do your parents know?” Tom asked. Tord shook his head.

 

“Paul probably would not care. He is the one who smokes. Patryck would flip out, though. He hates it.”

 

“So, you have two dads?” Tom asked. Tord shuffled nervously.

 

“Yeah,” he said. Tom nodded.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tom asked. Tord shrugged.

 

“I...I did not want to you to think that I was...bad,” Tord put his words together. Tom looked at Tord like he was crazy.

 

“Tord, you and I are  _ dating _ . Why would I care that you have two dads?” Tom asked. Tord shrugged.

 

“No one would talk to me in Norway because of it. I did not grow up in a good town. People made fun of me for having two dads. They  _ really  _ made fun of me. I had to stop going to school.” Tord mumbled. Tom’s harshness subsided as he apologized.

 

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry Tord.” Tom muttered. Tord shook his head.

 

“That is in the past. I am not upset anymore.” Tord finished off the cigar. Tom was watching him closely.

 

“What?” Tord asked. Tom shook his head.

 

“You’re so cute and you don’t even realize it,” Tom laughed. Tord blushed.

 

“I am not cute,” he grumbled. Tom gave him a kiss on his cheek.

 

“Do you want to go home? To talk to your parents?” Tom said carefully. Tord put out the still burning cigar. 

 

“I need to…” his voice trailed off. 

 

“I can drive you. I’ll just leave Edd a note. If there’s any problem, just come back, okay?” Tom said. Tord nodded.

 

“Thank you, Tom,” he sighed. Tom gave him a kiss and Tord leaned into it, his heart fluttering.

 

“No problem, babe. Let’s go,” Tom opened the sliding door and walked in after Tord. He grabbed his keys off of the kitchen island and walked Tord out to his car. He gave Edd a quick text and started the car.

 

Tord sat in the passenger seat twiddling his thumbs. Tom tried to pay attention to the road and not to his boyfriend, but seeing Tord upset like this killed Tom.

 

They pulled up to Tord’s house, but Tord didn’t move. Tom got out and helped Tord out of the car, and up to his front door. Tom knocked for Tord, who was looking at the ground. 

 

A short man answered the door. He was taller than Tord, but much shorter than Tom. The man had a cigarette hanging out his mouth. Tom assumed this to be Paul.

 

“Dad, this is Tom,” Tord mumbled, not meeting his father’s eyes. Paul looked up at Tom, scanning him up at down. It was a long moment before he held out his hand.

 

“Thank you for bringing my son home. I am Paul,” the thick accented man said. Tom took his hand and shook it.

 

“And I’m Tom. Nice to meet you,” Tom said, but he half gritted it through his teeth. This was the man who upset Tord so bad.

 

Tord gave Tom a big embrace before Tom left and got back in his car. Tord walked into his house and his father closed the door behind him.

 

“Tord!” Patryck yelled, giving his small son a hug. Tord held his father close. Tord could hear the door lock and Paul come down the hallway.

 

“I’m sorry,” Tord said in Norwegian. He turned to look at Paul. “I’m sorry to both of you,”

 

“Don’t be sorry, Tord.” Patryck said. Tord pulled away from his father’s embrace and sat on the couch. Paul wouldn’t look at Tord, but Tord wouldn’t look at Paul, either. Patryck watched the tension.

 

“Tord, please, talk to us. We’re sorry,” Patryck said, sitting in the armchair. Paul walked over to where Patryck sat and stood by him.

 

“I...there’s nothing to talk about.” Tord shrugged. Paul looked at him.

 

“We need to talk about last night,” Paul said. Tord tensed up.

 

“We need to leave that in the past,” Tord mumbled. Paul shook his head.

 

“Suppressing it isn’t getting rid of it, it’ll come back as a problem later,” Paul grumbled. Tord looked away.

 

“What do you want to talk about then?” Tord asked. 

 

“Don’t walk out like that anymore,” Paul said. 

“Tord, do you know how worried we were? We had no idea where you went and we didn’t know if you were okay or not! Tord, we do love you, you’re our son, and I understand that you were upset but you don’t know what that did to us—to me,” Patryck said. Tord looked at his father and could see the stress and worry in his eyes. Tord felt a pang of guilt that hit him like a bus.

 

“I—I am so sorry…” Tord said in English. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. Damn it! Why did he cry so much? It was so embarrassing. 

 

“I did not mean to scare you, I did not mean to hurt you...I just did not know what to do. I was upset, I thought that you hated me because I have been so horrible, I have been nothing but a problem to you and I feel so bad, and then you see the dumb scars that I have and I feel like you hate me and I am just so sorry for being horrible and you do not deserve such a horrible son like me—” 

 

“Breathe, Tord, breathe!” Paul cut him off. Tord felt the tears fall and his breath hitch. Tord’s breathing started to speed up as he tried to stop himself from crying. Soon, Tord was hyperventilating and his tears fell profusely. Tord felt arms wrap around him.

 

“Stop, Tord,” Paul mumbled. Tord wrapped his arms around his father and buried his face into his shoulder. Tord could feel Patryck’s hand on his back as his other father leaned in.

 

“Tord, stop, it’ll be okay,” Patryck murmured. Tord’s breathing started to slow after a few minutes of crying on his father’s shoulder. He pulled away from his father’s hug. Paul was in front of Tord while Patryck sat on his right; both of them looked very concerned.

 

“Tord, why are you saying these things?” Paul asked. Tord found it hard to meet either one of their eyes. 

 

“I...I can not help it. It...it feels so true,” Tord mumbled. Paul looked over worriedly at Patryck, who looked like he might’ve cried as well. Paul sighed. 

 

“Tord, none of those things are true,” Paul said. Tord looked down at his legs.

 

“But I can not help but feel that way,”  Tord sniffled. “I feel like I have only been horrible to you while we have lived here,” 

 

“Tord, you barely talked to us back in Norway; you were so quiet. It’s been amazing to see you happy again. We haven’t seen you smile like that since you were little,” Patryck said. Tord leaned back into his father’s embrace.

 

“I’m just so tired,” Tord mumbled. He looked at Paul, then to Patryck, and then back to his lap. “It is just so hard to do things now,” 

 

“What do you mean, Tord?” Patryck said slowly. Tord did not look up.

 

“I am just so tired of many things. I am tired because I can not sleep. I am tired of being the way I am. I am tired of waking up and wishing I was different. I am tired of seeing myself. I am tired of me.” Tord said nonchalantly. Both Paul and Patryck were worried at this point.

 

“Tord, about last night,” Paul said.

 

“Yes?” Tord responded. His eyes were closed now.

 

“What did you mean when you said that we almost didn’t have a son?” Paul whispered. Tord laughed sadly.

 

“I think you know what it means, you are not stupid, dad,” Tord smiled sadly, but it hurt.

 

“Tord, you do not feel like that now, do you?” Patryck whispered. Tord shrugged.

 

“I do not know what I feel anymore. It is hard to tell what is real and what is not,” Tord said blandly. For once, he did not feel like crying. Instead, he felt numb. At first, it didn’t even register to him what he was saying. It just felt...right. He was done with lying. 


	11. Chapter 11

29 November

 

“Tord, are you hungry?” Patryck interrupted. Paul gave him the harshest look, but Patryck ignored it. 

 

“A...a little?” Tord said, confused. It wasn’t like Patryck to just stop a conversation.

 

“Here, come help me make breakfast,” Patryck stood up and held out his hand. Tord looked at Paul, and then to Patryck. He nodded. Paul gave Tord a confused look, but ushered him to follow his father. Tord stood and took Patryck’s hand while Patryck went to the kitchen. Patryck closed the kitchen door behind Tord; Tord gave his father an odd look.

 

“What is wrong, dad?” Tord asked as Patryck sat down at the table. He put his head in his hands.

 

“Why did you never tell us?” Patryck mumbled. Tord sat down next to him and thought about what Paul would think. Patryck was always for talking like a family, but now that he wanted to talk alone, something wasn’t right, and guilt started to well up inside of Tord. He was almost certain that this was all his fault.

 

“I...I just could not. I never knew how you were going to respond or if you would have been upset with me,” Tord said. Patryck looked at him with worried eyes.

 

“Tord, of course we’d be upset! We’d want to know what was going on with you, you shouldn’t have to go through those kind of things alone, Tord. You’re just a kid!” Patryck blurted. Tord winced back slightly. 

 

“I am sorry,” Tord murmured. His father shook his head.

 

“I just wish you would’ve told us so that we could have fixed this,” Patryck rubbed his eye. “How long, Tord?” 

 

“How long what?” Tord asked. He felt his heart drop.

 

“How long have you been hurting yourself,” Patryck didn’t look up. Tord tensed up slightly.

 

“A...a few years,” he said with guilt. He watched as Patryck tensed up.

 

“ _A_ _few years?_ ” Patryck’s head shot up and he looked at Tord with a despondent expression. Tord winced back again.

 

“Are you kidding me, Tord? A few years? You could've told at least me! You know that I love you, why do you distrust me?” Patryck’s accent started to show through and his English started to falter. Patryck was almost perfect in English, and to see that Tord was stressing him out so much to the point that it was breaking, that tore Tord apart. 

 

“Dad, I am so sorry, I did not mean for you to think that—” 

 

“No, Tord, stop! It’s not normal for a kid to do these kind of things and you do them? Where did you even get the idea to do this?” Patryck manically said. He gestured to Tord’s legs and then looked away, sighing annoyed. 

 

“I...it just felt right,” Tord said. Patryck growled.

 

“It is not right! No boys your age should be doing this. You should be happy and playing outside and being rebellious!” Patryck shook his head, his cropped hair moving with the movement. Patryck sat up straighter.

 

“Are your friends doing this? Is this a cool thing to do?” Patryck growled. Tord looked at his father. He had never seen his father like this, and in all honesty, it was terrifying. Tord had the urge to go back out into the living room with Paul. 

 

“I am sorry!” Tord yelled. Patryck jumped at his sudden outburst.

 

“I do not know why you are making such a big deal out of it when I have not done it in months! Ever since we moved here I have been trying to stop doing the bad things that I used to do. I am trying my hardest to be a good son. I tried to stop smoking, too! I am trying to be good,” Tord whimpered. Patryck sat up straighter. Tord realized what he said.

 

“You...what?” Patryck’s eyes widened. Tord looked away.

 

“I am going to go lay down—” 

 

“Paul! Get in here  _ now! _ ” Patryck yelled. His eyes were daggers as he pointed to the chair. “Don’t you dare move,” 

 

“I thought you said this would not be like last night!” Tord cried. Patryck said nothing as Paul walked in. 

 

“What is going on?” Paul looked at Tord, then to Patryck, both of whom were very stressed. 

 

“Your son has been smoking,” Patryck said stiffly. Tord tensed up.

 

“I told you that I am trying to stop!” Tord whined. Paul raised a brow.

 

“You could not tell?” he asked. Patryck turned to Paul with an angered look.

 

“You mean to tell me that you knew our son was smoking and you didn’t care?” Patryck stood up and towered over Paul, yet Paul didn’t flinch. He put a hand on Patryck’s chest and took a drag of his cigarette.

 

“Patryck, stop. Calm down and listen to him.” Paul said. Patryck took a deep breath. He sighed shakily and leaned down to put his head on Paul’s shoulder. Tord looked away and put his head in his hands.

 

“I am very sorry. I did not mean to make you both stress out like this. I do not mean to be so horrible to you,” Tord mumbled. Patryck turned to face Tord, and Paul watched. Neither one of them said anything.

 

“I should have told you...I realize that now. But then I did not. Then I was just scared and I needed something to make it all feel...real. I do not do those things now. I have to say sorry, because I did smoke before coming home, but I had to. It calms me. I promise that I will try to stop and that I will tell you if I have urges again. I...it is just so scary to feel alone,” Tord whimpered. Paul and Patryck looked at each other. “And no. It is not a cool trend. It is a problem. It is almost like...an  avhengighet .” Tord took a breath, not knowing the English word. 

 

“An...addiction? Is that what you meant to say?” Patryck whispered. Tord shrugged. He didn’t know.

 

“If you say so,” Tord mumbled. Paul shook his head and Patryck looked away.

 

“I’m sorry, Tord,” Patryck said. “I wouldn’t know how you feel.”

 

“I am sorry, as well,” Paul said. Tord shook his head.

 

“There is no need for you to feel sorry.” Tord said. He looked at his fathers, who now stood side by side, hand in hand. “It was my fault. But I am willing to change.” 

 

“So are we,” Patryck smiled. Tord smiled sadly. He stood to give his fathers a hug.

 

“Here,” Paul handed Tord his phone.

 

“No—it is okay I do not—”

 

“Take it, Tord.” Paul mumbled. “But I think you should tell Tom about lunch this weekend or so,” Tord’s eyes widened. 

 

“You mean it?” he whispered. Paul nodded.

 

“You are a teenage boy. I should be thankful that you aren’t doing worse things,” Paul mumbled. Tord gave his father a big embrace. He also gave one to Patryck, 

 

“I love you guys,” Tord said. His fathers responded with the same message.

 

“Go get dressed, we’ll go out for breakfast,” Patryck said when Tord pulled away. Tord nodded happily and went upstairs to change.

 

Maybe his parents weren’t so bad, after all. 


	12. Chapter 12

6 December

 

Tord tapped his pencil against his desk as he took the test. He wasn’t tapping his pencil because he didn’t know the answer—that was far from it. He was tapping his pencil because of the question that was presented this morning.

 

_ “Good morning, Tord!” Patryck smiled. Tord nodded as he dug into his french toast. _

 

_ “Paul and I were thinking...why don’t you invite Tom to lunch tomorrow?” Patryck asked. Tord almost choked on his breakfast.  _

 

_ “T-tomorrow?” he asked. _

 

_ “Well, it’s Saturday tomorrow and we don’t have any plans. Don’t you think it would be nice?” Patryck said as he sat at the table. Tord nodded and went back to focusing on his breakfast. _

 

Tord didn’t hate the idea of going out to breakfast with his boyfriend, but he  _ was _ against the idea of his parents meeting Tom. Tom was right—he wasn’t the kind of kid you wanted your son hanging around. Tom wasn’t necessarily a bad kid—no; he kind of was. 

 

Tord loved Tom, but would his parents? Just thinking about it sent shivers down Tord’s spine.

 

“Ten minutes left to complete your test,” said the teacher. Tord cursed at himself and finished the test quickly. He stood to turn it in and grouchily sat back in his desk. He looked over at Tom, who was giving him a raised brow. Tord rolled his eyes and put his head down.

 

“Hey commie,” Tom said as he made his way to his desk. The bell had just rung and Edd and Matt were still packing up. Tord grumbled something inaudible as he stood.

 

“‘Scuse me?” Tom said sarcastically. “I don’t speak Norski.” he laughed. Tord walked with him to outside the classroom as they waited for Edd and Matt.

 

“Tom, do you want to go to lunch tomorrow?” Tord said bluntly. Tom raised a brow.

 

“Is this why you’ve been grouchy? You wanted to ask me out and didn’t know how?” Tom teased. Tord glared up at him.

 

“With my parents.” 

 

Tom’s smirk dropped. 

 

“Oh.” he said. He stood up straighter. “I mean, it  _ sounds  _ nice,” he said. 

 

“My parents are going to judge you hardcore if you say no.” Tord stared up at him lazily. Tom blushed at Tord’s grimace.

 

“You’re really cute when you’re pissy, you know that?” 

 

“Tom can you or can you not?” Tord grumbled as they waited for Edd and Matt.

 

“I’m sure I can.” Tom’s eyes glanced behind Tord at Edd. “My dad works on Saturday so he’s taking the car—”

 

“My parents offered to pick you up,” Tord mumbled. Tom blushed a little more.

 

“There’s no way out, is there?” Tom asked. Tord shook his head.

 

“I wish there was.” 

 

The boys walked to P.E. Tom and Tord talked most of the time, which earned snide remarks from the coach, but neither one of them cared.

 

“You can’t swear in front of my parents, okay? Use manners, behave, don’t say anything rude or frisky, don’t be too romantic and touchy—”

 

“Christ, Tord, are we going to lunch or a sermon?” Tom stared at Tord. Tord slumped his shoulders.

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m worried that they’ll freak,” he admitted. Tom lightly hit his arm.

 

“It’ll be fine, I hope.” Tom reassured, but it didn’t really reassure Tord. 

 

The rest of the day was mostly fluff for Tord. Mostly tests or evaluations. Tord sluggishly walked out of his seventh hour room where Tom, Edd, and Matt waited.

 

“Jeez, I thought you left us for a moment!” Matt said. 

 

“Yeah, you were in there for like five minutes after the bell. Hurry! We’re going to miss our bus,” Edd said. 

 

“Edd, you know the busses wait fifteen minutes after school gets out,” Tom said, shaking his head. He held his hand out for Tord, who took it. The four walked to the busses talking about their classes.

 

Matt complained about his seventh hour the entire ride home, but it was humorous. 

 

“Tom, I’ll need your address,” Tord said as they got off the bus. Tom pulled Tord’s phone out of his back pocket, to which Tord squeaked, surprised. Tom went straight to his contact and put his address in. 

 

“Thanks,” Tord said as he laughed. Tom ruffled his hair.

 

“See you tomorrow, commie.”

 

Tord thought of everything that could and would go wrong tomorrow. What if he said the wrong thing? What if Tom said something offensive? Not that he  _ would _ but what if there was a case that he did?

 

Tord shuffled around his bag for his keys and unlocked the door. A soft, but pleasant sounding, conversation could be heard coming from the kitchen.

 

“I’m home!” Tord yelled in Norwegian as he threw his bag down and hung up his keys. He made his way to the kitchen where Paul was seated at the table reading and Patryck leaned against the counter.

 

“Tord! How was school?” Patryck smiled as Tord sat in front of his father. Paul briefly looked from his book to Tord and nodded.

 

“It was boring,” Tord whined. He pulled out his phone, dreading the question.

 

“Did you ask Tom?” Paul asked. Tord froze for a minute.

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“What did he say?” 

 

“He said he could but he’ll need a ride,” Tord mumbled. Patryck smiled brightly.

 

“Tell him we’ll pick him up at seven tomorrow.” Tord nodded, not sure if Tom had the ability to wake up before noon on the weekend.

  
  


~

  
  


Tom had said that he would try to be up before seven, but Tord knew that that meant that he’d be up at 6:50.

 

“Tom, we’re here,” Tord said into his phone. 

 

“Wait, really? Shit,” Tom mumbled on the other end. Tord could hear plenty of shuffling on the other side.

 

“Give me five minutes and I’ll be out,” he grumbled. Tord obliged.

 

“Is he coming?” Paul said from the passenger seat. Tord nodded and watched as Tom's front door opened and closed. Tom had just finished buckling his belt when he waved to Tord. 

 

“Hey,” he said, his voice breathy. He smelt of cinnamon toothpaste and cologne. He wore blue jeans and a white shirt with his usual shoes. 

 

“It’s a quarter past noon and you’re just waking up?” Patryck laughed from the driver’s seat. Tom blushed faintly.

 

“Yeah, I stayed up a little late last night.” He looked to Tord and smiled nervously.

 

Tord and Tom looked at each other nervously when they saw that Tord’s parents were taking them to the same dinner that they went to when they snuck out. Thankfully there were different waiters.

 

It was definitely awkward at first, at least for Tom and Tord. Paul and Patryck talked loudly and often, constantly asking questions, and Tom almost never got to eat with how many questions they bombarded him with. After a while, Tord and Tom were comfortable enough to talk back with them, and the lunch date wasn’t half bad.


	13. Chapter 13

9 December

 

Tord was too tired to work today, but he decided that he still needed to go to school. He got ready and started to head downstairs when his father stopped him. 

 

“Hey, Tord,” Paul said. Tord looked at him with a brow raised. Why was his father up this early? It was a rare occassion.

 

“Hi dad,” Tord said. Paul pushed something into his hand. Tord raised his brow in confusion at the money. 

 

“Why don't you go hang out with your friends today?” Paul nodded and returned to his room. Tord pocketed his new money and started downstairs. 

 

“Tord! Good morning,” Pat said warmly. He looked at the stairs. “Is Paul up yet?” 

 

“Yeah, but he went back to bed, I think.” Tord nodded to his father. “Hey, I'll be hanging out with my friends today, is it okay if I come home later?” Tord asked. Patryck blankly nodded. 

 

Tord left after eating and made his way to the bus stop. Edd and Matt were there as per usual, and Tord assumed that Tom would be late...again.

 

“Edd! Matt!” Tord waved. The boys turned to look at the red clad teen with smiles.

 

“You’re bright today, aren’t you?” Edd asked. Tord smiled, patting his pocket.

 

“My parents gave me some money, you guys want to hang out later?”

 

Edd smiled and raised a brow to Matt. 

 

“What?” Tord raised a brow.

 

“Yeah, that sounds fun,” Matt said slowly. Edd slugged him on the arm.

 

“You said you were busy!” Edd grumbled. Matt shrugged.

 

“Too busy to work volunteer hours,” Matt mumbled. His lip curled in a smile. “What did you have in mind, Tord?” 

 

“Honestly, I don’t know. I didn’t  _ ask _ for money, my dad just kinda threw it at me and said I should hang out after school with you guys.” The other boys made faces of confusion. “I know.”

 

“Well, let’s not take it for granted! We could go out for dinner, go to the arcade—” 

 

“I wouldn’t mind the arcade,” Edd interrupted.

 

“We could see to the theater, but I don’t think there are any good titles for viewing at the moment.” Matt stood pondering what they could do when Tord felt an arm sling around him and yank him back.

 

“Hey commie,” Tom teased as he messed up Tord’s hair.

 

“Damn it, Tom!” Tord growled as he strangled to get away from his boyfriend.

 

“You are so lucky the bus is late.” Edd pointed out, glaring slightly at Tom. Tord knew that he wasn’t actually mad at Tom, but it was more of a parental thing.

 

“The bus is always late on Mondays.” Tom rolled his eyes, letting Tord go as he did so. Tord fixed his sweater and played with his hair until he became content with the fact that Tom had messed it up so severely that it wasn’t going to go back to normal.

 

The bus came, and Tord explained to Tom the peculiar events of his morning, and invited him to hang out with Edd and Matt. Tom was silent for a moment, his face void of emotion. Tord nudged him and Tom nodded.

 

“Sure, sounds fun. What are we going to do?” Tom asked. Tord looked at Edd.

 

“We haven’t decided yet.” Edd admitted. “Matt said that we could go to the arcade or for dinner.”

 

“Why not both?” Tom asked. He draped his arm over Tord’s shoulders and shrugged. “If we all pitched in a little we’d have more money to spend, therefore more stuff to do.”

 

“Jeez, Tom, I didn’t know you had that much common sense, much less that much math credibility.” Edd laughed. Tord and Matt laughed with him, and Tom played hurt.

 

“I can’t believe you laugh at me like that, Tord, do you even love me?” he said dramatically. Tord rolled his eyes with a smile on his face.

 

“I told you, I only love you Tuesday through Saturdays from six till eight. This is not in the window.” Tord poked Tom’s side. Tom laughed and cringed away from Tord’s poking until the bus got to school. 

 

~

 

The boys met up in front of Tord’s empty room as usual after the end bell for the school rang. Tord emerged, proud that he actually convinced Tom to go to his seventh hour today (although he did miss his boyfriend’s company).

 

“Guys, I was thinking, how are we going to get to the arcade?” Edd asked. Tord looked at Matt, then Tom.

 

“We could just walk to my house after the bus drops us off. My dad doesn’t have work today so I have the car.”

 

“Alright, problem solved!” Matt said cheerily. Tord smiled brightly.

 

“Thanks, Tom,” he said. Tom shrugged.

 

“I’m usually the one who drives.”

 

The boys talked about which arcade that they wanted to go to, and settled on one that had a bowling rink. They decided to make teams, in which Edd and Tom would be on one and Matt and Tord on another. The boys got off of the bus and started their trip to Tom’s house.

 

“Can you even set up teams for bowling?” Edd asked. Tom shrugged.

 

“Who said we couldn’t just pretend that we’re on teams and combine scores?”

 

“I mean  _ true _ but like if there’s a custom option can we do that?” 

 

“I guess if you want to,” Tom raised a brow.

 

“You guys are going to have your asses handed towards you!” Matt cheered. Tord agreed with him.

 

“Oh, so you’re against me now?” Tom teased. Tord stuck out his tongue.

 

“Blame Edd,  _ he  _ made the teams.” Tord laughed. Tom shook his head.

 

“Too bad for you guys, but I’m actually pretty good at bowling.”

 

“So am I, Tom! And I bet Tord has played it at least twice,” Matt said, looking at Tord hopefully as Tom unlocked his door.

 

“I used to bowl a lot, actually,” Tord half muttered. Matt’s eyes lit up.

 

“Am I the only bad one at bowling?” Edd whined. The boys laughed as they put their backpacks down and Tom grabbed his keys.

 

~

 

The score was  _ not _ even.

 

Tord and Matt had a combined score of over two hundred, while Edd and Tom had a little over ninety.

 

“Edd, you are officially the worse at bowling.”

 

“I told you that I wasn’t good,” Edd said as he laughed. He looked at the board and realized that there was only two more cycles. 

 

“Guys, after this we should spam the jackpot machine for tickets,” he said. The boys agreed with him. The finished half heartedly, Tord and Matt in an unbeatable lead, and they went to the arcade. Everyone tried the jackpot machine five times, but only Tord made the jackpot. Actually, he made the jackpot twice and the monster jackpot once. The other boys were shocked. 

 

Tord went home with a lava lamp, a police lamp, some figurines, and a glowing sign.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //WARNING: This chapter contains physical harassment, sexual harassment, relapse, self-starving, mentions of suicide, attempted suicide, bullying, self-harm, alcohol abuse, medication abuse, and smoking. This chapter is essential to the story and I beg that you read this carefully.//

11 December

 

_ hey tord i won't be in town for a few days im visiting my aunt _

 

Tord sighed as he read the message. Matt had texted him earlier saying that he was on a business trip with his parents and Edd had messaged him saying that he was sick. Tord shook his head and got ready for school. 

 

Which, in turn, could be viewed as a mistake. 

 

Kids pushed Tord around in the hallways, much more than usual and almost maliciously at this point. First hour, kids threw paper at him and mocked his accent. P.E. wasn't so bad, but Tord was the last pick for hockey and no one even looked at him. 

 

Third hour was horrible. Tord could barely keep up with the lesson, and the kid behind him kept kicking his chair. At the end of class, someone took his backpack and ran. By the time he got it back, he was late to orchestra. Mr. Stevens wasn't there; the sub almost sent Tord to ISS. Tord sat at the piano and started to play the song, but when he realized that no one in class was playing the song, he just started dabbling. 

 

Lunch was probably one of the worst times. 

 

Tord sat at the usual table that he sat at with his friends, but he was jerked away from the table and his lunch was thrown away. Tord wandered around the buildings until he was shoved against the lockers. 

 

“Hey, pretty boy,” a raspy voice said. Tord grumbled. 

 

“Please leave me alone, Eduardo,” Tord begged. A laugh escaped from the taller boy. 

 

“Nah, I gotta idea for you, though,” Eduardo turned Tord around so that the boys faced each other. Tord could see Mark and Jon behind Eduardo. 

 

“What do you want?” Tord mumbled. Kids who were lingering in the halls had eyes on them. 

 

“Leave your dumbass friends. Come over where we sit, eh? Really I mean leave your dysfunctional boyfriend and come date me, but I guess all your friends are fucked up anyway,” he laughed. Mark smirked and Jon looked away. 

 

“Fuck off, Eduardo,” Tord tried to push Eduardo off, but the larger male had a grip on Tord. 

 

“Well, if my first offer wasn't enough, here's a bonus deal,” Eduardo’s face was right in front of Tord’s.

 

“Hurt Tom. Make him feel like shit—make him feel useless. Make him  _ hate _ you. If you don't, one of your little friends might get hurt,” he snarled. 

 

“And what can you do to them?” Tord mocked. Eduardo growled. 

 

A knife flicked out and was against Tord’s throat. He held his breath. 

 

“It's great what a locker can hide, yeah?” he smiled. He pulled away and pocketed the knife. 

 

Tord glared as Eduardo walked away. He could feel tears prick at the corner of his eyes. He shook his head and made his way to math.

 

In math, kids ransacked Tord’s backpack and took some of his things. Kids ripped up his class work, and even with the teacher telling them to stop, they persisted. After a while, the teacher had to ask Tord to leave.

 

Sixth hour wasn’t too bad—except for Tord’s thoughts. 

 

Seventh hour came and Tord couldn’t even try to stay. He called his dad. He picked up on the fourth ring.

 

“Patryck?” Tord mumbled. 

 

“Tord! Aren’t you in school—”

 

“Please come pick me up,” Tord whispered.

 

“Tord, what’s wrong?” his father pushed. Tord shook his head, but realized that his father couldn’t see.

 

“Nothing, I am just not feeling well,” Tord lied. His father agreed to come pick him up.

 

The security guard walked into the room almost ten minutes later. He told Tord that he was going home and Tord followed him up to the office. Patryck stood at the desk, signing Tord out. He smiled as Tord walked up to him and followed after him. 

 

Tord got in the small car behind the passenger seat. His other father sat there with a cigarette.

 

“Jesus, at least roll down the window if you’re going to do that,” Patryck shook his head in disgust. Paul shrugged.

 

~

 

So he thought that he was done with lying.

 

Yeah, Tord was pissed. Yes, he was crying, and yes, he relapsed.

 

All of these fucking months: gone. They don’t mean anything anymore. Tord rubbed away his tears with his hoodie sleeve as he took a long drag from his cigarette. He looked at the bottle of beer that he snatched from his dad’s fridge; Tord shook his head as he twisted off the lid. He took a sip and cringed. The beer was disgusting, but it was something to take his thoughts away.

 

_ Buzz. _

 

_ hey tord it’s me _

 

_ how are things? _

 

Tord shook his head and turned his phone on silent.

 

Was he really going to go through with this?

 

Of course he was, because, in the end, it would work out. 

 

Just not in the way Tord wished. 

 

He heard his parents pull into the driveway. He downed the beer (which was not smart, Tord almost threw up), and finished his cigarette. He stepped through his window and snapped the screen back in place. He quickly changed clothes and stuffed the other ones under his bed: his red hoodie would have to be retired for now; it was time to pull out his old one. 

 

Tord laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. His phone buzzed occasionally on his nightstand, but Tord muted it, not being able to stand the noise. 

 

Tord stared at his ceiling fan for what seemed like ages. Maybe it was, because when he first got in bed it was eleven thirty, and now the sun was starting to shine through his window. He growled as he rubbed his dry eyes and made his way to the bathroom. 

 

12 December

 

He had ventured into new territory last night, and now he  _ had _ to cover his arms. His entire body was sore and his head hurt, but whatever. He took a shower and brushed his teeth and returned to his room to get ready. He pulled out his black hoodie from his closet, which was still too big for him. 

 

Tord pulled on blue jeans and his usual converse. He headed downstairs to where Paul was just sitting down and Patryck was with him. 

 

“You're up early,” Paul yawned. Tord shrugged. 

 

“Yeah. Just trying to get a head start,” Tord smiled weakly. He went to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal and returned to the table. Patryck eyed him. 

 

“Are you okay, Tord?” he asked. Tord looked up.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

 

Patryck had made Tord’s lunch, but Tord “forgot” it. He made his way quickly to the bus stop. No sight of a friendly face there. 

 

Tuesday was much like the day before, maybe even pushed to a further extreme than yesterday. 

 

Eduardo found Tord once again during lunch and dragged him to their spot. Eduardo wrapped an arm around Tord’ s waist, which made Tord extremely uncomfortable. The entire time, Eduardo made degrading jokes against Tord. 

 

Tord actually felt sick this time. After lunch, he called Patryck. Patryck tried to convince him to stay, but that thought was interrupted when Tord hung up and threw up in the bathroom. 

 

Tord laid in bed when he got home. Again, his phone vibrated with texts from Edd and Tom. 

 

“Tord, do you want dinner?” Paul asked, leaning in the doorway. Tord’s mother tongue was sweet sounding to him. 

 

“No, I don't think I'll be able to keep it down,” he mumbled. Paul nodded. 

 

“When was the last time you ate, kid?” Paul asked. Tord tensed up. 

 

“Yesterday. I don't know, I probably got sick from one of the other kids,” he admitted. Paul nodded once more and left. Tord stared at his phone silently. 

 

That night was not a good night either. 

 

Again, he couldn't sleep. He ended up drinking again and having a few cigarettes, something that he dreaded becoming accustomed to. 

 

He was out of the house before Paul or Patryck could say good morning. He sat at the bus stop with his head in his hands. 

 

“Hey, Tord!” a preppy voice said. Tord didn't move.

 

“Hey, Tord, are you okay?” said a softer voice. Tord didn't respond to either Edd or Matt. 

 

The three boarded the bus, but Tord said nothing to either one. Edd tried to talk to Tord, but Tord had his earbuds in. After he got off the bus, he went straight to first hour. 

 

First hour was Tord half listening and absentmindedly taking notes. The teacher asked him a question a couple of times, but Tord ignored them all. He was worried about second hour. 

 

He was late to second hour, but the boys were still changing out. Tord asked Coach if he had a long sleeve uniform.

 

“It's not cold out, kid.” he raised a brow. Tord nodded and went to the locker room where many of the boys were. None of them even looked at Tord. 

 

Except Tom, Edd, and Matt. 

 

“Hey, Tord,” Tom said. Tord ignored him and went to his locker. 

 

“What the hell, Tord?” Tom scoffed. Tord continued to ignore him. The whistle blew and the boys pushed around Tord to leave. Tord pulled off his hoodie and opened his locker. He pulled off his shirt and pants as well and folded them. He stared at himself after he put on his uniform. He stared at the white bandage on either of his arms. What was his excuse?

 

He left the locker room and walked in as Coach was talking about lacrosse and the rules. 

 

Tord zoned out most of the class and only came out of it when it was time to change. 

 

“Tord?” Edd said. Tord looked behind him as he belted his pants. 

 

“What?” Tord mumbled. 

 

“What happened to your arms?” he asked. 

 

“Carpal tunnel,” Tord mumbled. “It's to help me stop moving my wrists,” it hurt him to lie to Edd, but Edd’s face lit up after hearing that. 

 

“Oh, sorry to hear,” Edd smiled weakly. Tord nodded as he grabbed his backpack and left. 

 

Tord sat quietly in third hour, taking his notes and not asking questions, even when he needed to. Fourth hour he played piano, but even Mr. Stevens had to ask him to play louder. 

 

Tord asked to leave early so he could go to the bathroom. Mr. Stevens begrudgingly agreed even though there were three minutes until lunch—he admitted that Tord didn't look good. 

 

Tord threw up in the bathroom. Tears welled in his eyes and his stomach purged nothing but the small bit of alcohol in his system. The bell rang and he flushed the toilet and went to the sink. He rinsed out his mouth with water and put a piece of gum in. 

 

So this was how this school was going to be?

 

Tord pulled out his wallet from his backpack and slipped it into his hoodie. He wandered around the halls and then turned into an empty room. 

 

It wasn't actually empty, however. The room stunk of cigarettes, alcohol, and other narcotics. He shook his head. 

 

“Freddy?” Tord mumbled as he rubbed his temples. 

 

A kid with scraggly long hair and a semi-shaved face poked up from behind the desk in the corner.

 

“Hey, Tord!” he said joyfully. Tord smiled weakly at him. 

 

“What can I help you with today?” the boy pulled a bag out from under the desk and put it on top. Tord walked over. 

 

“Just need a few cigarettes and some whiskey,” Tord said. Freddy lit up. 

 

“What blend? And any particular brand?” he said and he pulled out what he had for selection. 

 

Tord picked out a pack of Marlboros and Jack Daniels, which totaled to be twenty-three pounds. Tord thanked Freddy as Freddy wrapped up his items. Tord watched as Freddy unwrapped the cigarettes and put cotton on the top to make sure there was no way the cigarettes could jingle around. He put black duct tape around the Jack Daniels label, but them both in a black bag, tied it and taped it off. 

 

“You are good to go, my dude,” Freddy handed Tord the bag and Tord nestled it in his bag. 

 

“Thanks, Freddy,” Tord smiled at him. 

 

“Anytime, man! Our friendship is also my business,” he laughed. Tord said goodbye and left the room as a few other kids entered. 

 

Tord walked around campus once again, but he trailed too close to the cafeteria and Eduardo saw. 

 

“Hey, bitch boy! Get your ass over here,” he laughed. Tord sighed and went over to the table. In the corner of his eye, he saw Edd and Matt look up at him. Tom turned around. 

 

Eduardo laid a sloppy kiss on Tord’s jaw, which made him sick again. Tord pulled away but Eduardo pulled him closer as he wrapped his arm around Tord’s waist. Tord almost threw up as Eduardo kissed his neck, leaving a mark for sure.

 

Tord watched with a broken heart as Tom turned around with his head in his hands. 

 

All lunch Tord felt sick. He got up when the bell rang and almost ran to fifth hour. 

 

What was he going to do in sixth hour? Tom was going to say something…

 

Tord kept his backpack close so no one took anything from it. All class, kids pushed Tord and threw things at him. One kid threw the plastic sphere that was for display. Tord didn't know that it was solid until it hit him on the shoulder. Tord almost knew that it was bruising. 

 

The bell rung and Tord went to the bathroom again to throw up. He did cry this time as his stomach tried to purge nothing. Tord gagged above the toilet for a solid two minutes before throwing up. 

 

Again, he washed out his mouth with water and pulled out a stick of gum. The bell rang on his way to class. 

 

“Tord, why are you late?” the teacher asked. Tord felt sick as the class turned to look at him. 

 

“I was sick ma’am, I'm sorry I didn't think I'd be late,” Tord apologized. The teacher nodded and started her lesson. 

 

Tord sat next to Tom, who didn't even look at him. Tord didn't say anything.

 

“So you're just going to sit there and ignore me? You're going to act like this fucking okay? To ignore us for two days and then completely change?” Tom growled. Tord winced at Tom’s words, but said nothing. 

 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, are you too good for us now? Because you hang out with that fucking prick, Eduardo?” Tord continued writing. Tom growled and pushed Tord off his seat. 

 

“Thomas!” the teacher yelled. Tord shook his head. 

 

“No, miss, it's fine. I fell.” Tord reassured. The teacher looked at Tom. 

 

“Don't be such a fucking bitch,” Tom snarled. The teacher looked at Tom with wide eyes. 

 

“Tom, to the office—” 

 

“You are a piece of shit, Tom, you know that? Fuck you!” Tord yelled back. The teacher stood straighter. 

 

“You two—”

 

“Guys, stop—” Edd started. 

 

“Fuck off, Edd, this doesn't fucking concern you!” Tord yelled. Edd looked at Tom back to Tord. 

 

“Don't fucking talk to him like that, you fucking whore,” Tom grabbed Tord by his hoodie collar. 

 

“How the hell am I a whore?” Tord yelled back. 

 

“I see what you fucking did with that prick at lunch. Is that how it is now? I'm gone for two days and you're fucking someone else?” Tom growled in Tord’s face. 

 

“You are fucking psychotic,” Tord screamed back. The teacher called security. 

 

“And to think you had all those problems? You're a fucking liar. You made it all up, didn't you? You conniving bitch,” Tord clenched his fists and pushed Tom back. 

 

“Take a look in the fucking mirror, you asshole! You worthless piece of shit!” Tord shot back. The security guard burst in. 

 

“Oh, I'm worthless now? Why don't you do everyone a favor and kill yourself?” Tom screamed. The entire class went silent and wide-eyed.

 

“Tord, I didn't mean that—” 

 

“No, it's fine  I understand,” Tord whispered. He turned around and went with the security guard who waved at Tom to follow.

 

The guard had them sit as far as the could from each other in the office while their parents were called. Tord asked for a trash can, as he felt sick again. As he was retching, Paul and Patryck showed up.

 

“Jesus, Tord,” Paul shook his head as Patryck walked over to him. 

 

Tord wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Tord’s eyes met with Tom’s for a second, but he looked away. 

 

“Are you Tord’s caretakers?” the principal said. Paul looked at the man. 

 

“We are his parents, yes.” Paul grunted. The principal looked from Patryck to Paul. He nodded and waved them into his office. 

 

Tord followed his parents into the small office. He sat at one of the chairs while Paul sat at the other. Patryck stood behind Tord with his hands on Tord’s shoulders. 

 

“Your child was causing a classroom disruption today, Mr. ?” he rolled his hand, gesturing to Paul and Patryck. 

 

“Please, my name is Patryck, this is Paul,” Patryck introduced. The principal nodded. 

 

“Anyway, Tord, who started the disruption?”

 

“I...It was me,” Tord lied. The principal raised a brow. 

 

“How so?”

 

“I...I ignored him,” Tord said. The principal raised a brow and Paul looked at Tord, confused. 

 

“How is that your fault?” the principal asked. Tord felt his stomach turn. 

 

“I know how he gets when he's ignored. I should've said something to him,” Tord mumbled. 

 

“What did he say to you?”

 

“He asked me if I was just going to ignore him and my...his friends,” Tord whispered. 

 

“What else?”

 

“When I didn't respond...he said that I was too good for him and that I...I was fucking someone else,” Tord started to shut down. Patryck’s grip tightened and the principal leaned forward. 

 

“And?” 

 

“Then he pushed me,” Tord mumbled. The principal nodded Tord on. 

 

“He called me a bitch, so I called him a piece of shit. His friend, Edd, tried to get us to stop and I told him to fuck off, then Tom called me a whore. I called him psychotic and he called me a liar. He called me a conniving bitch. I called him worthless and he...he,” Tord sighed. 

 

“He told me to kill myself.”

 

The principal’s eyes widened and he nodded. Paul stood up and Patryck’s grip was murderous at this point. 

 

“He said what?” Paul growled. 

 

“Paul, please, calm down,” Patryck said through his teeth. Paul turned and shot daggers at Patryck. 

 

“Calm down? Calm down? This is my fucking son, I won't fucking calm down!” Paul yelled in Norwegian. Patryck turned around. 

 

“He’s my son too, god damn it Paul!” Patryck shot back. 

 

“Please stop,” Tord mumbled. His parents looked back at him. 

 

“Tord, you're free to go.” The principal said. “Thank you for your time.”

 

Tord stood up and left, his parents following behind him. Tord opened the door to see Tom’s father waiting outside. Tord didn't look at either one of them. 

 

Paul signed Tord out and they left. Patryck got in the back seat with Tord as they drove home. 

 

“Tord, what's been going on?” Patryck asked. His voice was shaky, and his pronunciation was faltering. Tord held himself close. 

 

“I...I don't know,” he whispered. Patryck pulled him close and Tord shook his head. 

 

“What did I do wrong?” Tord whispered. Patryck shook his head. 

 

“Nothing, Tord, nothing.”

 

Paul pulled into the driveway and Tord grabbed his backpack. The three walked inside. Paul dropped his keys on the key tray and looked at Tord. Tord didn't want to meet his eyes. 

 

“You need to tell us what is going on, now.” Paul said. Tord shrugged and Patryck patted him on the back. Tord nodded, suddenly aware of the narcotics he possessed. Tord followed Paul to the living room, dropping off his backpack by the key tray. 

 

“Tord, are you hungry?” Patryck asked in Norwegian. Tord shook his head. 

 

“I can't keep anything down,” he mumbled. 

 

“When was the last time you ate?” Paul asked. Tord looked at his shoes, ashamed. 

 

“Wednesday morning,” he whispered. Paul looked at him as if he was insane and Patryck looked hurt. 

 

“What about the lunch I sent on Wednesday?” he asked. Tord shrugged. 

 

“Some kids pushed me off my bench and threw it away.” He whispered blatantly. Patryck sat down. 

 

“It's a sick joke, right? It's supposed to be funny?” tears streamed down Tord’s face. “Please, I just want this to be over, I'm tired of this. If it's a joke, I'm not laughing!” Tord cried angrily. Patryck stood back up and pulled him into a hug. 

 

Tord had saltines, vegetable broth, and some water for dinner. Although, after about three saltines and a sip of broth he started throwing up again. 

 

“I'm going to bed,” Tord mumbled. His fathers nodded and said goodnight to him, not even noticing him pick up his backpack. 

 

Tord smoked four cigarettes at first, and only one shot of whiskey. After an hour of sitting in bed, he smoked four more and had two more shots. He pulled out his cloth bag, but put them back. He had a different plan. 

 

He had three more shots and smoked two more cigarettes. He sat on his windowsill when he got a message. 

 

_ tord? it's me  _

 

Tord looked at Tom’s message. 

 

_ i’m so fucking sorry i didn't mean it  _

 

_ please _

 

Tord drank four more shots. At this point, he was fucking hammered. He could feel his stomach start to twist and turn but he forced himself to keep it down. 

 

He finished smoking the carton throughout the night. Tord had so much on his mind, sleep wasn't one of them. He stayed up all night long, writing. He wrote and wrote until his wrists and hands started to cramp. He folded his notes and put them under his pillow. 

 

13 December

 

The next day, Tord counted his money. Eighty pounds. 

 

Patryck asked him if he really wanted to him to school. Tord said yes, that he couldn't afford to miss classes with the midterms coming up. Patryck drove him to school and made sure he took his lunch. 

 

Tord called Freddy. 

 

“Hey, Freddy, are you here yet?” Tord asked when he picked up. 

 

“Tord? Yeah, my dude, I'm here as soon as the gates open. How can I help?”

 

“Nothing too big, just needed a refill. I am actually interested in your collection, too,” Tord said. Freddy sounded giddy on the other end. 

 

“You got it, man. Meet me in my room.”

 

Tord hung up and made his way to Freddy’s room. The stoner boy stood, ecstatic. 

 

“Same goodies as yesterday?” Freddy started to prepare the cigarette carton and the alcohol bottle. Tord nodded. 

 

“I was also interested in your pill collection,” he said. Freddy looked up, a smile on his face. 

 

“Of course, I have pain relievers, allergy meds, SSRIs, feel goods—” 

 

“What kind of SSRIs?” Tord asked. Freddy pulled out a list. 

 

“Celexa is my most popular,” he pointed to the top of the list. 

 

“Fifty-seven pounds, my friend,” he said. Tord shoveled out his eighty. 

 

“Keep the extra,” he said. 

 

Freddy smiled as he stuff cotton into the orange pill bottle. 

 

“Would you mind holding onto this for me until seventh hour?” Tord asked. Freddy nodded. 

 

“You're goodies are safe with me, my dude.” Freddy smiled. Tord thanked him and left. 

 

The bell for first hour rang, and on his way to English, Tord started retching again. Was it the alcohol? It couldn't have been, he wasn't a regular drinker. 

 

Tord missed half of class, and his teacher sent him to ISS.

 

Tord made his way to second hour, trying to keep his stomach under control. 

 

He nodded to coach as he headed to the locker room. Tord dropped his backpack and unlocked his locker. He pulled off his hoodie. 

 

“Woah, look at Tord’s arms,” someone whispered.

 

“Didn't think he was  _ that  _ needy for attention,” someone else said. 

 

Words floated around the locker room, even after Tord left. As he walked out, three familiar faces walked in. 

 

“Hi T-Tord?” Edd started to say, but his voice faltered when he saw Tord’s arms. Tord didn't even acknowledge the boys. 

 

Coach separated the class into teams, and of course Tom and Tord were on the same team. 

 

No one passed to ball to Tord, in fact, the entire game seemed to ignore Tord. Halfway through the game, Tord gave up. He shook his head and started to walk out of the game. His stomach started to twist. 

 

“Tord, what are you doing?” Coach yelled. Tord covered his mouth as he started to gag. 

 

“I’m not feeling well, Coach,” he said. Coach shook his head and returned to the game. 

 

“Hey, Tord? Where are your razors at?” a kid yelled from behind him. Tord felt the solid rubber ball collide with him right between his shoulder blades. 

 

“Hey, you emo whore! Blow me next!” more laughter. 

 

Tord swore under his breath as tears pricked at his eyes. He made his way over to the locker room. 

 

“Fuck off, James!” a voice yelled. Coach told them to watch their language, but Tord could hear footsteps behind him. 

 

A hand was on the small of Tord’s back that softly pushed him forward. The boy opened the door for Tord and closed it behind him. 

 

“Tord, are you okay?” Matt asked. Tord rushed over to the toilets and vomited. 

 

“Oh jeez, are you okay? Tord, what’s been going on?” Matt walked over to Tord’s side. 

 

“I am sorry, Matt,” Tord mumbled in between breaths. Matt shook his head.

 

“Don’t apologize yet, I want to know what happened first.”

 

“Well, if I could go longer than an hour throwing up, maybe I would tell you,” Tord mumbled. Matt rubbed his back. He cringed back when Tord winced.

 

“I’m going to go talk to Coach. You get dressed and I’ll be right back,” Matt said. Tord shook his head.

 

“I will be fine. I promise that I will tell you later,” Tord shook his head.

 

“You sure?” Matt asked. Tord nodded.

 

“Okay. Can I ask one more thing?” Matt asked. Tord looked over.

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Why were you with Freddy this morning?” Matt whispered. Tord could feel his heart race.

 

“I...uh, needed to buy something,” Tord whispered. Matt looked at him.

 

“What? What did you have to buy?” Matt muttered. Tord shook his head.

 

“Please don’t make me lie to you, Matt.” Tord stood up and brushed himself off. He flushed the toilet and walked to his locker. 

 

“Please be careful,” Matt said. Tord didn’t look at him as Matt left. Tord changed his clothes and got his backpack together. 

 

Tord locked his locker and waited for Coach’s whistle. As soon as the door opened, Tord had left. Tord went straight to third hour. He explained to Ms. Foster that he hadn’t been feeling good the last few days, and that if he had to leave unexpectedly, it was because he needed to use the restroom.

 

“Hey, Tord,” Matt mumbled as he sat next to the Norwegian boy. Tord nodded.

 

“I am sorry. For all of this.” Tord shook his head. “I should have never have come here,” Tord smiled weakly. Matt looked at him worriedly.

 

“It’s not your fault, Tord,” Matt said. “But will you tell me what happened?” Matt pleaded. Tord shook his head. 

 

“I’ll tell you at the end of the day. I...no offense but I do not want you to tell Edd and Tom yet,” 

 

Matt nodded and continued with his work.

 

“Will you sit with us today?” Matt asked. Tord tensed up.

 

“I can’t.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Matt, please,” Tord mumbled. “I’ll tell you later.” 

 

Matt nodded solemnly and returned to his work.

 

“If it means anything, Tom misses you,” Matt said. Tord tensed up and felt tears prick at his eyes. 

 

Tord finished third hour with only a small interruption at the end of class. 

 

Fourth hour wasn’t too hard—there was a concert coming in two days. Tord shook Mr. Stevens’ hand.

 

“We’re so grateful to have such a piano player like you,” he said. Tord smiled and thanked him for the comment.

 

Tord didn’t fight Eduardo to sit with him today; he went on his own this time. Eduardo was pleasantly surprised when he saw the smaller boy, but didn’t complain. Tord laughed at Eduardo’s jokes and had a good time. The jokes didn’t bother him, even if they were about him.

 

Tord didn’t mind the screaming a degrading kids during fifth hour. It was enjoyable, really. Tord got all his work done and the test that he had to make up. 

 

Sixth hour was a toughy, however. 

 

The teacher had moved Tom to the other side of the room, but Tord had an uneasy feeling about class. No, Tom wasn’t watching him, he knew that, but something felt...off.

 

The bell rang, and instead of going straight to his room, he went to Freddy’s room. Of course, the man himself was there. 

 

“Hey, Tord! My favorite man to see! We gotta hurry though because Mrs. Johnson is going to flip her shit if I’m late again, and we can’t have that, now can we, my dude?” Freddy laughed. Tord laughed along with him. Freddy handed Tord the bag. 

 

“Hey, I heard about yesterday. Be careful with the SSRIs, okay dude?” Freddy said in a calmer voice. Tord smiled.

 

“Do not worry, I will be okay.”

 

Tord hurried back to his room. As he sat down, the security guard came in.

 

“Hi, Jonas,” Tord said. The man nodded.

 

“We doing better than yesterday?” he asked. Tord nodded.

 

“Definitely,” Tord smiled. His heart broke a little when he thought of the rumors that would start to go around. 

 

“Have a good day, sir!” Tord said as Jonas left. 

 

_ I’m here to pick you up, get to the office.  _

 

Tord’s phone read. He picked up his bag and left. 

 

He walked to the office and counted every step on the way there. His fingers rubbed against the wall. Tord thought about what would happen when they read the notes. Probably nothing. 

 

Patryck smiled as Tord walked into the office. Tord followed him out to his father’s car and got in the front seat, noting that Paul wasn’t there. 

 

Tord ate dinner with his family that night. No, he didn’t eat very much, but he still ate. He stayed downstairs and watched a movie with his parents. It was nine thirty when Tord became tired.

 

“I’m going to bed, I love you guys,” Tord yawned. Paul grunted and Patryck said goodnight in response. 

 

Tord took his backpack upstairs with him and locked the door behind him. He turned on the stereo and played the same Spotify playlist that Tom played with him just a few months ago. Tord popped out his screen and sat in his windowsill smoking and drinking. He saw the pills in the bag and popped a few. He smoked a few more cigarettes and had a few more shots and a few more pills. It was ten by the time Tord picked up his phone.

 

_ (156) Unread Messages _

 

Tord opened his inbox and saw that the majority of them were from Matt and Edd. One was from Tom. Whatever. 

 

Tord pulled out his letter to his parents and set it on his desk. He opened his desk drawer and pulled out his cloth bag. He grabbed his pills, cigarettes, and lighter off of his bed and went to his bathroom. 

 

He locked the door for the bathroom and pushed aside the curtain. He filled up the tub with warm water and slowly sat himself in it. He took off his hoodie and set it aside. He took the pills in a handful and swallowed as much as he could. He took his razors and did many “across the blocks” on both arms, and one, single, deep, “down the road”, on his left one. He had ripped through a tendon on his right wrist. 

 

He painfully lit his cigarette and smoked it as he started to shake. He watched as the water started to turn red. He felt tears stream down his cheeks, but it was all the same to him. He didn’t care anymore. He finally understood the joke.

 

It was him. His life was the joke. 

 

And it was fucking hilarious.


	15. Chapter 15

24 December

 

Patryck shook as he sat in the lobby. Paul held his hand as Patryck reread the note.

 

_ Hey dads! Ha, I never thought that I would be writing this note. Well, a year back I had written one, but I don’t think that I was as serious as this. I mean, obviously. I’m dead now, right? Maybe. I don’t know. I want to to tell you that it wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault. You guys were great and you did everything for me. It...It was just me. I couldn’t stand me any longer. I don’t know how the hell you put up with me for so long. Jesus, I’m sorry.  _

 

_ Paul, I know that I disappointed you, even if you said that I didn’t. I wasn’t your blood family, something that you used to pride yourself on. I know that I caused you and Patryck a lot of problems, especially when I was younger. I’m sorry. I know that you and Patryck already had it rough and I just ruined it for you guys. Everything that you worked hard for, I ruined. I’m sorry. _

 

_ Patryck, I know that you have such bad anxiety and I can’t imagine what this is doing to you right now. I’m so sorry. I know that you always wanted me to tell you everything, but I knew that I couldn’t. You cared so much and I never wanted to make you hurt. Well, that’s kind of ironic...huh? You’re probably in so much pain right now and I can’t say sorry enough. _

 

_ I love you both so much. I’m sorry that I got in the way of the life that you wanted. _

 

~

 

Edd held Matt close as Matt cried. Edd was fighting back tears of his own, but he had to be strong for Matt. 

 

“I tried Edd, I wanted to talk to him, I never thought that this would happen,” Matt cried. “It’s my fault, I should’ve noticed. He trusted me to know what it was like and I let him down.”

 

“No, Matt, you didn’t. This entire thing isn’t your fault,” Edd whispered. 

 

_ Hey, Matt. How are you? I’m a little drunk while writing this, so sorry if I ramble too much. _

 

_ Matt, you and Edd are like brothers to me, I’m not going to lie. You’ve all been through so much that I’m sorry to bring my shitty presence into your life. Well, worry no more! I’ll be gone forever...just the way that everyone wanted it, right? _

 

_ I’m sorry Matt. I’m really going to miss you, Edd, and Tom, but I’m sure you will all move on. I wasn’t that important or memorable anyway. Please, please don’t miss me when I’m gone. _

 

_ I also promised that I was going to tell you what happened.  _

 

_ It was that one day that no one was here but me. I don’t know why out of all the days in a school year, it had to be that day that I was alone. Fate made the stars align to make up my mind, yeah? School started off pretty shitty. I wasn’t in a good mood to begin with but the fact that it felt like all of the student body was literally trying to fuck me over didn’t feel great. Everything was kind of just building up. You guys know that I haven’t been in the bounciest of moods, but I don’t think that this could have come at a more inopportune style. _

 

_ I think it was really him that got me. During lunch I was shoved off of our bench and had my stuff thrown away. I didn’t think much of it, I was just kind of pissed off. I started walking around thes school halls and I see the one and only. I don’t know, he threatened me. I don’t know why I believed him.  _

 

_ At this point, I’m just rambling. It all sounds pretty pathetic, but the letter matches the writer, huh? That’s me: Pretty Pathetic. _

 

_ I’m sorry for ruining this for you Matt. _

 

“I’m so sorry Edd, I should have tried to get through to him sooner. I should have stopped this.” Matt shook his head. Edd tightened his grip.

 

_ Hey Edd! How’s your day been? I think I’ll be finishing your letter first. I don’t know. I’ve always trusted you and I know that you can keep a secret. Want to know a secret? I’m not a 100% sure that I want to do this. You know, I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I’m just not that one hundred. _

 

_ Hey, I came back to this after a few days. No, I’m definitely at that one hundred. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t Matt tell me? Why didn’t you guys tell me that I bothered you, that you thought that I was useless? I mean, I always had that suspicion that that was what people thought of me, but I wish that you guys would’ve told me before I had gotten so attached.  _

 

_ I don’t mean to make you think that Tom speaks for all of you, but...I just wished that someone had told me to stop. That someone told me to shut up and make me think. That someone hit me across the face and told me to look for the people that were here for me. But that never happened. I wasn’t even that person for myself. I don’t even think that if I had that person that I would have listened, though.  _

 

_ I’m not blaming you it’s just...I need someone to talk to. You’re the person I trust the most Edd. I’m sorry that I had to rant to you, and I’m sorry that you had to endure this, haha. _

 

“Matt, it's okay,” Edd whispered. He felt his own tears fall down his face. “It's...it's okay.”

 

~

 

Tom threw his keys onto his dresser. His dad made him drive him to some far out bar over thirty miles away. He was was tired. He looked at the letter on his bed. He found it in his backpack and it was from Tord, but Tom wasn't going to read it. Tom needed to just...get away from Tord. He didn't realize how much Tord hurt him, seeing him with someone else. Tom hated it  

 

Tom picked up his phone and called Edd. At first, Edd didn't answer and it went to voicemail. Tom put his phone down when he started to get a call back. 

 

“Tom?” Edd said. His voice sounded shaky. 

 

“Hey, Edd. You want to go to the park or something? Grab some food with Matt?” he said. Tom could hear Matt say something on the other line. 

 

“What? Are you kidding me?” Edd said. His voice was even shakier now. 

 

“What?”

 

“You read your note, right?”

 

“No, I don't want to read it. Tord and I are done—” 

 

“Read the note and then you can call me.” Edd hung up. Tom rolled his eyes and tossed his phone onto his bed. He picked up the letter and opened it. 

 

_ Hey, Tom! God, is it safe to say that I miss you? Haha, maybe not. I'm sure you're having a major problem with me right now. Will you give me just a moment to explain? _

 

_ So, at this point in time, I am dead.  _

 

What?

 

_ But none of it is your fault, okay? It was bound to happen.  _

 

No—

 

_ The thing with Eduardo...I mean, it was obviously fake. You know what sucks? Is that everyone else knew that it was fake...except you. The person that I needed to understand was the only one who didn't.  _

 

_ You were gone, and Eduardo approached me. He told me that if I didn't do what he said he'd hurt you guys. Crazy, right? I don't know why I believed him.  _

 

_ But after people have been fucking with you all day long, I guess you forget what's real.  _

 

_ So I'm sorry. But can we talk about the good? _

 

_ You made me so happy. I loved being with you and everything you did was inspiring to me. You were my first real everything. You were my first real kiss, my first real boyfriend, and my very first time. You made me a risk taker, and I loved that. You got me to try new things and that was beautiful. In the end, even your last words were beautiful.  _

 

_ Kill yourself.  _

 

_ Out of no one else's mouth would those words be beautiful. Except yours.  _

 

_ I love you, forever and always Tom. But I have to say goodbye for now. Maybe some time again.  _

 

“Tord…” Tom whispered. “This is my fault,” Tom shook his head. 

 

“Fuck!” he stood and threw his phone at the wall. The screen shattered, but the phone still worked. Tom violently wiped off his tears and took his phone and keys downstairs. He wasn’t going to cry. Not now.

 

Of course, he drank a bit. Tord had convinced him to stop, but he wasn't there now. 

 

Tom had five shots of vodka before he stopped. 

 

Tord wouldn't want to see him like this. 

 

Tom put the bottle back in the freezer and called Edd. 

 

“Can I come over?” Tom whispered. 

 

“Yeah, of course,” Edd said. Tom hung up and went outside. 

 

Was it a good idea to drive when Tom was borderline drunk? No, it wasn't. But Tom needed people around him right now. 

 

Tom pulled up to Edd’s house. He wandered up to the door and knocked. 

 

Matt answered with swollen eyes. He said nothing to Tom as the blue clad boy entered. Tom sat at Edd’s island counter and put his head down. Matt sat next to him. 


	16. Chapter 16

25 December

 

Tord started to wake up and immediately wished that he didn't. His head was pounding and every part of his body was sore. A nurse in the room turned to look at him. Her eyes widened and she squeaked, running out. Tord closed his eyes and groaned, taking in his surroundings. There was a desk outside of his room, and his room had a large window. There was a man who was watching Tord, a chair were the nurse was, and his parents were standing next to him.

 

Oh.

 

“Tord?” Patryck said. Tord opened his eyes, but didn't look at his father. 

 

“Paul, he's opening his eyes.” Tord heard Patryck say. Even in Norwegian, his voice was shaky and cracking. Patryck was whispering. Even though Patryck was a quiet person, he was almost inaudible. 

 

Tord looked at his parents. They looked horrible. Their hair was ruffled, oily, and untamed. Patryck looked frantic while Paul looked sunken. Patryck was shaking, and he looked almost skinnier than before. Paul’s eyes looked sunken, as well as he cheeks and collar bones. His eyes were those of tired ones, and the bags under his eyes were prominent. Both of their clothing was wrinkled. Patryck had a firm hand on Paul’s shoulder while Paul’s mouth hung open. 

 

“Hi,” Tord whispered. Tord could see tears forming in both of their eyes. 

 

The nurse walked in with who Tord assumed to be the doctor. He pulled a swivel chair up next to Tord. 

 

“You two, please have a seat,” the man gestured at the chairs on the other side of Tord’s, against the wall. Paul grabbed both chairs and moved them forward to be next to the bed.

 

“This will just be a short, so I won’t be long.” he flipped through his clipboard.

 

“You have two options,” he said. “You’re going to be taken to a mental health clinic for evaluation. We prefer that you go voluntarily, meaning your choice,” he nodded to Tord. “We already have your fathers’ signatures. If you refuse to go, there will be a…” he looked away. “I guess you could say a more  _ difficult _ route of getting to the clinic. There, you’ll be evaluated, okay?” He stared at Tord, who felt motionless. Did he want to go? Of course not. He was in this bed for a reason, but if his parents already signed off on it...he had no choice.

 

“I...I’ll go,” Tord whispered. The doctor nodded and scribbled something down.

 

The doctor nodded to Paul and Patryck and handed the nurse something, then left.

 

“Uh,” Tord stumbled. “Hi.”

 

Patryck threw his arms around Tord, surprising him. He hugged him tightly and Tord could feel him holding his tears back.

 

“Tord, Tord, I love you,” Patryck kept whispering over and over. 

 

Tord could feel Paul’s hand wrap around his. He looked at his father and saw hurt. True hurt. 

 

“I love you guys,” Tord whispered. His parents agreed. 


	17. Chapter 17

14 January

 

It had been a week since Tord was released from the hospital. However, he was submitted to a psych ward for a few weeks. Tord hated it there and he felt small. His problems were so small compared to some others. 

 

Tord rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He glanced at his bathtub and shook his head. He walked back to his room. 

 

Under no circumstance was he to be left alone for more than thirty minutes. Patryck was still stingy on that and lowered the time to twenty. He wasn't allowed to bring his backpack up stairs and would have to do his homework at the dinner table. Patryck also insisted in buying a baby monitor. Tord had to admit, it was kind of embarrassing, but Paul told him to let Patryck. Patryck was so worried that he took time off of work to take care of Tord. 

 

Tord pulled on his red hoodie, which no longer smelt of cigarettes and alcohol. He rubbed his arm and cringed at the stitches under his bandage. 

 

He grabbed his converse and some socks and started to head downstairs. 

 

“God morgen,” Patryck said as he set pancakes on the table. Tord still wasn't up for eating, but Paul insisted. 

 

“Good morning,” Tord smiled. He took a seat and started to put his socks and shoes on. 

 

“Make sure you eat breakfast, your lunch is already made and it's in your backpack” Patryck said as he sat in front of Tord. Patryck took a sip of coffee and looked at Tord. 

 

“You promise me you'll tell me if anyone says anything unkind to you,” Patryck pleaded. “If anything happens, tell me.” 

 

“Okay,” Tord said. Patryck smiled.

 

“You know you don’t have to go to school if you don’t want to.” 

 

“It’s fine, dad. I need to catch up on school work.” 

 

Tord ate his breakfast, but he couldn't stomach it all. When he ate as much as he could, Patryck drove him to school. 

 

“Text me if you want to come home,” Patryck said as he pulled into the drop off lane. Tord nodded. His heart started to race as he saw one of the busses start to drop of kids. 

 

“Okay,” Tord said. Patryck smiled and Tord smiled back as he got out and closed the door. Tord watched with a racing heart as the car drove away. 

 

Tord started to make his way to his classes to pick up missing work. In language arts there was a book report, but the teacher told him not to worry about it. Tord didn't go to P.E. because why would there be work?

 

In history, the teacher gave him fill in the blank notes (which Tord hated), and a book section for Tord to read. 

 

Tord went to orchestra, but was surprised when he got a big hug from Mr. Stevens. He asked how Tord was doing, and if he ever needed anything to come tell him. He gave Tord the sheet music for the new song and said that he could come to him whenever something happened. 

 

Tord went to math. The teacher’s eyes were wide. He apologized for everything that happened in his class. He gave him the units that they had learned and said that he was glad to help him anytime. 

 

When Tord went to science, he had to stop himself. 

 

Tom stood in front of the teacher’s desk with his head down. Apparently he had earned himself before-school detention, which was pretty hard to do. The teacher saw Tord and her eyes widened. 

 

“Sorry, I can come back later.” Tord smiled and apologized. Tom’s head whipped up to see Tord. His eyes (or lack of) widened. 

 

“No, don't worry. We were just about done. Tom, you're excused. Don't wait for him, either,” she grumbled. Tom glared at her and walked out, grazing past Tord. 

 

She gave Tord all his missing work and told him that if any problems were arising then to come talk to her. 

 

“Ma’am, can I wait here? If you don't me want to, that's fine, I just don't want to run into anybody I know,” Tord mumbled. His teacher nodded. 

 

Tord started to work on his missing assignments, starting with math first. He asked his teacher questions from time to time, but was able to do it mostly on his own. When the bell rung, the teacher shook her head as he started to scramble. 

 

“Don't worry, Tord. I'll call your teacher saying that you're in here. Just don't be too late,” she said. Tord thanked her as he started to organize all his papers. A few minutes later, the bell rang a second time. His teacher wrote a pass and he started to walk to language arts. 

 

Tord walked down the hall, his heart racing. What was he going to do if Tom told them? How would Edd and Matt react?

 

Tord pushed open the door to his classroom. The class was quiet and the teacher was at her desk. Tord could feel himself tense up as the eyes in the room landed on him. He ignored them and walked to the teacher to give her his pass. 

 

“Thank you, Tord. Have a seat and start on bellwork please,” she smiled. Tord smiled at her and took his seat. He worked on his bellwork, but he could feel eyes watching him. 

 

Class continued on like that. Tord didn't talk again. The bell rang as he packed up his stuff and he cursed to himself. Now they had a chance to talk to him. 

 

Tord watched Tom walk out of the room, but was stopped by a green hooded boy hugging him. 

 

“Tord, you're okay!” Edd said. Matt joined in on the hug.

 

“Huh, I guess I am,” Tord said shallowly. Edd and Matt looked at him, worried. 

 

Tord nodded. Second hour went to fourth. He was the last kid in, and eyes narrowed on him. The usual uproar dimmed to nothing. The teacher smiled at him as he sat down at the piano. Mr. Stevens started the class and taught a new song. No one talked to or touched Tord. 

 

The bell rang to signal the end of class. Tord packed his stuff up and prepared to go to his seventh hour room for lunch, but was stopped by Edd outside. 

 

“Tord, can you come sit with me and Matt? Please?” he asked. Tord tensed up. 

 

“I...I guess.” he said. Edd took his hand and led him to their table. 

 

Matt turned around to see the two, a face of worry and sadness was painted on him vibrantly. Tord sat across from Matt and Edd sat next to him. 

 

“Where’s Tom?” Tord asked. Edd looked at Matt, but back to Tord. 

 

“I don't know. He hasn't talked to us in almost three weeks. Since the letters,” Edd said. Matt poked at his salad. 

 

“I'm sorry I shouldn't have said—” 

 

“Tord, don't even.” Matt dropped his fork. His piercing blue eyes looked at Tord. Hurt. Tord cringed at all the hurt that was there. 

 

“I'm sorry,” Tord whispered. Edd pulled out his phone and dialed something, walking away. 

 

“Tord, why didn't you tell us?” Matt said. Tord writhed.

 

“I...I couldn't. You were...I was threatened not to,” he whispered. Matt pried more. 

 

“Who? Who was threatening you?” Matt leaned forward. Tord looked away and hugged himself as Edd sat back down. 

 

“Please, if you won't tell us what's wrong and least tell us when you're not safe with yourself,” Matt whined. Tord looked away, guilty. 

 

“Even if I wanted to say something, there isn't enough time and I do not want anyone to hear.”

 

“I just talked to the counselor. She's dismissing us from fifth hour and sixth hour if necessary. We just have to stay here,” Edd said. Tord stared at him for a moment, shocked. 

 

“Please Tord, let us help you,” Edd pleaded. Tord looked away and put his backpack down. 

 

The three boys made small talk until the bell rang. Tord watched all the other kids walk by, and his eyes met with Eduardo for a second. The other boy’s glare made his heart race. Matt and Edd noticed Tord tense up and looked over to the other boy. Matt looked back to Tord. 

 

“Was it him?”

 

Tord said nothing, but his gaze said it all. 

 

Tord jumped when a presence sat next to him. He turned to see Tom; the boy was Tom but wasn't at the same time. His face was tired and seemed dead. The bags under his eyes were terrible, and the stubble on his face was untamed. His hoodie was wrinkled and he looked sluggish. Tord’s chest started to hurt and tears started to prick at his eyes. He put his face in his arms, face down on the table, and felt tears flow—fast. 

 

“I'm so sorry, I wish I never came back, you guys don't deserve this I'm so sorry for being here I'm sorry—” Tord started. 

 

“Tord! Calm down,” Edd placed a hand on Tord's arm while Matt moved to sit in between Tord and Tom and wrapped his arms around Tord. Tord wiped his tears out of his eyes, but they kept coming. 

 

“I'm so sorry.”

 

“Stop saying that,” Matt said. Tord looked at his old friends. Matt looked completely worried, Edd looked concerned, and Tom looked hurt and confused. Tord couldn't handle it.

 

“I did not mean to push you away but I was scared of what he would do—I mean, he pulled a knife on me so w-what would he do to you?” Tord laughed nervously as tears streamed down his face. “I hated it. I hated it when he touched me, they way be talked about me, when he forced me to let him kiss me. What could I have done? I am just lucky that that's as far as he went. And then Freddy was so nice to me, he didn't even think that I would overdose, haha. Freddy is so sweet. I'm sure he'd sell me more and recommend the best pills to OD on.” Tord laughed angrily. 

 

“Is it bad for me to say that sitting in a bathtub bleeding out was one of the few times that I felt fucking alive? When cigarette smoked burned my throat and my eyes and I was choking on pills and whiskey.” Tord growled through his tears and into Matt’s coat. 

 

“Weeks in a psych ward didn't do shit. I wish that I didn't fucking wake up.” he cried. 

 

“Tord...is this all because of Eduardo?” Edd asked. Tord tensed up. 

 

“No.” He said blatantly. 

 

“Then why?” he asked. Tord sat up, but didn't look at any of the boys. 

 

“Do you know what it's like to wake up and hate yourself?  To be told you're worthless and that you'll never amount to anything? And to try to kill yourself but fail and wake up in your bed the next day? To have your parents treated like shit because they were gay and in a bad part of the country? To move away and hope that things would be different but they  _ end up the fucking same? _ ” he wailed. The three boys stared at him. 

 

“This is an ongoing thing and you didn't tell us?” Tom spoke up. His voice was raspy and harsh, as if he hadn't spoken in a while. Tord looked at him. 

 

“What was I supposed to say?” he hissed. “Oh, hey, I'm suicidal, don't worry if I kill myself during our friendship?” Tord tensed at his own words. 

 

“Maybe that disclaimer would be nice so that I didn't get so fucking caught up with you!” Tom yelled. Tord stood up.

 

“You were your own fucking disclaimer! You didn't even want me here, why the fuck did you try? You could have left me alone yet you made me think that things would actually be different. I thought you weren’t like that Tom!” Tord yelled. He picked up his backpack. 

 

“Tord, you know I didn't mean to say that,” Tom stood. Tord glared at him. 

 

“Did I Tom?  _ Did it fucking look like I knew that? _ ” Tord cried. Matt stood and grabbed Tord’s forearm, making Tord jump back and pull his arm back. 

 

“Tord, are you okay?” Matt said. All three of the boys had a worried look. Tord could feel warmth spilling out over his arm. 

 

“I'm fine,” Tord shook his head. He held his arm close. 

 

“Both of you need to stop,” Edd said. He motioned for Tord to sit next to him so that Matt and Tom were in front of him. 

 

“Tom, can we focus on the part that upset you? The Eduardo thing please? I think that's where this all started,” Edd said. Tom growled. 

 

“Fine,” Tom glared at Tord. “You're still a fucking whore for that,” he said. Tord cringed and hugged himself. 

 

“Tom, did you not hear what he just said? Eduardo  _ made  _ him!” Matt pointed out. Tom shrugged. 

 

“He could have told anyone what was going on and then this wouldn't have happened.”

 

Tord opened his mouth, but closed it. He could see that Matt was becoming enraged, but Tord was focused on his arm.

 

“Hey was being threatened. You know, instead of sitting on your ass, you could have, jeez, I don't know,  _ confronted him _ ,” Matt shot back. Tom glared at him. 

 

“Whose side are you even on?” Tom yelled. 

 

“I didn't know that we were picking sides, but if we are, then Tord's! You're not listening to him!” 

 

“Oh, I'm not listening? I'm not fucking listening?” 

 

“You're blaming the victim for something that he couldn't do anything about! Eduardo held him at knife point, Tom!” 

 

“I thought Tord was stronger than that.” Tom glowered at Matt. Matt opened his mouth but closed it.

 

“I was here alone then. I walked onto campus and kids were pushing me around. I did not think anything of it, but after being pushed around all day, having my things stolen, and getting my lunch thrown away after I was pushed off the table, I'm sorry that I wasn't in the mood,” Tord whispered. Edd and Matt looked at Tord. 

 

“What do you mean?” Matt asked. 

 

“I mean that I walked onto campus, was late to almost all my classes because kids stole stuff from me, I was asked to leave my math class because kids wouldn't leave me alone, not to mention all second hour I was called a faggot and whore,” Tord mumbled. The other three looked at each other. 

 

“It was worse the second day. I thought that when I moved here, things would be different. I guess I was wrong.” Tord whispered. 

 

“Tom, you remember your letter, right?” Tord spoke up. The three boys tensed at remembering the notes.

 

“What about it?”

 

“Did you even read it?” Tord asked. Tom looked offended. 

 

“Of course I did—”

 

“You're not acting like it! Were you drunk?” Tord felt tears once more but he tried to repress them. “It literally explains everything that happened and why I needed you to understand.” Tord unzipped his backpack and shuffled around for nothing in particular. 

 

“Yeah, I know,” he said. Tord looked at him as if he was crazy. 

 

“So what is your problem?” Tord asked. Tom looked as if he was for a lost of words. 

 

“I don't need to deal with this shit,” Tom grumbled. He got up, picking his backpack up, and left. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Tord said. Edd shook his head. 

 

“It's not your fault. Tom doesn't like to be wrong,” Edd said. 

 

The boys talked until seventh hour, and then they departed. Matt and Edd waved as they left. Tord texted Patryck. 

 

Tord went to his seventh hour room and played piano for a bit. The security guard knocked and entered to see Tord. He didn't say anything, just waved. Tord followed him to the office where he saw Patryck waiting. Patryck waved him to follow and Tord did. 

 

“How was your day?” he asked nervously. Tord shrugged. 

 

“It was okay. I got to talk to Edd and Matt today,” he said. Patryck nodded. 

 

“Nothing happened?”

 

Tord thought about the fight he had with Tom at lunch. 

 

“No, today was fine,” Tord said. Patryck smiled. 

 

“That's good.” He said.

 

“Uh, dad?” Tord asked. Patryck raised a brow.

 

“Can you look at my arm when we get home? I might just be overreacting, but I think I might've pulled a stitch,” Tord mumbled. Patryck’s eyes widened. 

 

“Of course,” he said. 


	18. Chapter 18

15 January

 

Turns out that it wasn't a pulled stitch, it was just over movement. Patryck cleaned up Tord’s arm and rewrapped it.

 

Dinner was late because Paul didn't get home until seven. Tord was okay with that, especially since his appetite wasn't completely back. The family ate and Tord went up to bed. 

 

He lay down, staring at the baby monitor. He wasn't actually tired. 

 

But as he started to drift off, a clank could be heard against his window. 

 

He sat up and checked his phone. It was 10:38. He went over to his window. 

 

“Tom?” he called out. The boy in blue turned around and looked up. 

 

“Hi,” he said. Tord looked back at the baby monitor. He popped out the screen and sat on the sill. 

 

“Can you climb trees?” Tord asked. Tom looked at the tree that was behind him. 

 

“I don't fucking know,” he called up. Tord rolled his eyes. 

 

Tord hopped off his window sill and grabbed onto the branch that was in front of his window. He shimmied himself towards the trunk. 

 

“Get up here!” he whisper yelled. Tom started to climb the tree. He was slow at first, but made it up. 

 

“Can we go in?” Tom asked, gesturing towards Tord’s window. He shook his head. 

 

“Baby monitor,” he said. Tom looked confused. 

 

“My parents want to make sure I'm not moving around at night.” Tord explained. Tom nodded. 

 

“I'm sorry,” he said. Tord watched him closely, leaning against the trunk. 

 

“Why?”

 

“Don't be dumb, Tord. I'm sorry for all the shit I said. I really didn't mean it,” he said. 

 

“I...I realize.” Tord nodded. 

 

“You forgive me?”

 

“I never blamed you.” Tord looked at Tom. Tom clutched his fists.

 

“Why? I blamed you for hurting me even if it was my fault. Why don't you blame me?” Tom sighed. Tord watched him. 

 

“I could never blame you, Tom,” Tord whispered. 

 

“Why not?” Tom shook his head. 

 

“Because I still love you,” Tord said, his voice small. Tom’s eyes widened. 

 

“I...I—” 

 

“I understand if you don't feel the same.” Tord smiled sadly. Tom dismissed that. 

 

“No, god Tord, I missed you.” Tom put his head in his hands. “I don't know why I said that shit earlier. I was originally going to apologize but I don't know what came over me.”

 

“No, it's fine, I get it.” Tord reassured him. Tom shook his head. 

 

“You're too nice.” Tom smiled, making Tord’s heart ache. He forgot how much he missed it. 

 

“Tom?” Tord asked. Tom looked back at the smaller boy. 

 

“Yeah?” he asked. 

 

“How are we going to explain this to my parents?” Tom’s eyes widened. 

 

“Oh shit.” 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Are you going to tell them right away?” Tom asked. Tord shrugged. 

 

“I'm tired of keeping secrets, you know? I think that's kind of what started this whole thing.” Tord smiled softly. Tom’s shoulders slumped. 

 

“God, your smile is so cute,” he said. “I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes.”

 

“It's okay,” Tord held out his hand. Tom took it. 

 

“I don't know what's wrong with me, either.”

 

The boys sat in silence, but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. After a while, Tom spoke up.

 

“Hey Tord?” he asked. Tord looked back at Tom.

 

“This may be to soon or to sudden or something, but can I stay the night? My dad and I got into a fight before I left and uh.” Tom moved uncomfortably. “I don't want to go home.” he finished. Tord nodded. 

 

“Is that why you brought your backpack?” he asked. Tom looked confused, but he remembered. 

“No, that was more of an accident.” he admitted. Tord laughed. 

 

“That's fine. Just be quiet, I don't want my parents hearing you through the baby monitor.”

 

Tom started to make his way to Tord’s window and pulled himself in. He held a hand out for Tord, who took it and pulled himself forward. Tord popped the screen back in place and sat on his bed. He pay next to him for Tom to sit down. As Tom sat, Tord started to snuggle under the sheets. Tom joined him and wrapped his arm around Tord’s waist.

 

“I love you,” Tom whispered. Tord smiled. 

 

“Love you too, Tommy.” 

 

~

 

16 January

 

Tord woke up tangled with Tom. The larger boy had not yet woken up, and Tord could see why he was always late. He looked at the clock and saw the time. 

 

He begrudgingly removed himself from Tom’s grasp and started to get ready. He froze when he heard his father outside his door. 

 

Tord grabbed clothes and walked out the door, closing it behind him. He bumped into Patryck.

 

“Up late, eh?” Patryck smiled. Tord smiled back.

 

“Yeah.” he looked to the side. “Sorry, dad,” he said. Patryck shrugged. 

 

“It’s nothing. I’ll still take you to school,” Patryck said. Tord gulped. 

 

“O-okay.” Tord nodded. His father smiled and went downstairs. 

 

Tord quickly washed up in the bathroom and returned to his room. Tom was still there, sleeping.

 

Tord opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes fell on the baby monitor. 

 

Paul.

 

Tord grabbed the baby monitor and a pillow off his bed and stuffed the bay monitor inside of it. He softly placed it on the ground.

 

“Tom.” he nudged the larger boy. “Wake up.”

 

Tord sat on the edge of the bed, nudging Tom. 

 

“Come on, don’t be like this,” Tord mumbled. Tom groaned.

 

“What time is it?” Tom asked. 

  
“Time to get up. You have to take the bus and it’s a ten minute walk,” Tord said. “You have five minutes to leave to be on time.” 

 

Tom sat up and Tord watched him. Tom smiled and kissed him, but Tord nudged him back. 

 

“Ugh, you’re so gross.” he laughed. “There’s an extra toothbrush in the medicine cabinet.” Tord thought for a moment. “I’ll come with you just in case someone knocks.” Tom wiggled his brows.

 

“Same bathroom? That’s hot.” Tom laughed. Tord rolled his eyes and blushed.

 

“Five minutes, Tom!” he reminded. 

 

The boys went to the bathroom and Tord watched as Tom washed up. Tom rubbed his jaw, scratching and glaring at prominent stubble. 

 

“You have a razor?” he asked. Tord stared at him for a minute; Tom’s face contorted into shock. Tord smiled and shook his head.

 

“No, I don’t need to shave my face,” he said. Tom sighed. 

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled. Tord shook his head.

 

“Don’t be. You have two minutes, by the way.” 

 

Tom jumped and finished washing his face. He looked at his clothes. 

 

“I might have something that fits,” Tord mumbled to himself.

 

The boys went back to Tord’s room and locked the door. Tord opened his closet and pulled out his black hoodie.

 

“I should be fine wearing my own pants,” Tom said as he pulled off his shirt. Tord stared and blushed.

 

“Like what you see?” Tom teased. Tord looked up at Tom. 

 

“One minute,” he said. Tom sighed and quickly put his shoes back on and threw his backpack over his shoulder. 

 

“Tom,” Tord whispered as Tom opened the window. The taller teen looked behind him.

 

Tord kissed him. He pulled him close and held on to his shirt. Tom wrapped his arms around Tord’s waist.

 

Tord needed this. He needed  _ Tom. _

 

Tord moaned softly as Tom’s tongue moved around his mouth in familiar patterns.

 

Tord pulled away and put his head on Tom’s chest. He listened to his rapid heartbeat. 

 

“Tom?” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“You’d better start running.” Tord laughed. Tom checked his phone.

 

“Shit,” he mumbled. He quickly crawled out the window and down the tree.  

 

Tord finished getting ready himself and made his way downstairs. He didn’t see Paul, but Patryck sat at the table with his phone. The T.V. played softly in the background.

 

Tord sat at his spot, which had a bowl of cereal. Tord eyed his father.

 

“Dad, are you okay?” he asked. Patryck glanced up.

 

“I’m fine,” he mumbled. Tord watched how he fidgeted. 

 

“You sure, dad? What happened?” Tord pushed.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Tord. Eat so we can leave.” he smiled, turning off his phone. 

 

Tord ate, but he definitely was not convinced. 

 

His dad drove him to school, but Tord was worried.

 

“Hey, Pat? Can we go out for dinner tonight?” Tord asked. He watched Patryck tense up.

 

“Are you sure, Tord? I can always cook at home.”

 

“You, Paul, and I always go out to eat for your anniversary.” Tord said. He watched as his father started to fidget more and more.

 

“I-I’ll talk to him.” Patryck smiled weakly. He unlocked the car door as he pulled into the drop off. 

 

“Have a good day, Tord,” Patryck said quietly. Tord smiled back and closed the car door, turning to make his way into the school. 

 

“Tord!” Tord looked to see Tom jogging towards him as he entered the main gate.

 

“Matt and Edd aren’t here today.” he sighed. Tord froze up a bit, but relaxed when Tom took his hand.

 

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” he whispered. Tord nodded.

 

There was still twenty minutes before the bell rang and almost no kids were on campus. It was cold out and Tord didn’t want to sit outside.

 

“Tom,” Tord mumbled. Tom looked up from his phone, then down to Tord. 

 

“Can we go to the piano room?” Tord nuzzled into the crook of Tom’s arm as he shivered. Tom slid his phone into his pocket and tightened his hold on Tord slightly. 

 

“Sure.” 

 

The boys made their way to the building and Tord thought that he was going to melt as the warm air hit them.

 

Tom closed the door quietly after the two as Tord plopped down on the piano seat, but quickly readjusted himself so that the seat didn’t break. He swore as it creaked that he needed to fix it. 

 

Tord didn’t open the piano right away, which confused Tom. Tom sat next to him.

 

“What’s wrong?” Tom asked. Tord shrugged.

 

“I’m not going to class today,” he said. Tom raised a brow, trying to appear nonchalant, even if he really was worried. 

 

“Not feeling it, huh?” Tom asked. Tord shook his head and put his head in his hands. 

 

“I’m probably going to call my dad—” he stopped himself. “Scratch that. I’m ditching.” Tom pulled Tord’s hands from his face. 

 

“We can wait for the bell and then leave, if you want,” Tom said. “Our neighborhood isn’t dreadfully far and we can call a taxi or something,” Tom said softly. Tord leaned into the black clad teen and rested his head on his chest. 

 

Tord repositioned himself so that he was curled up in between Tom’s legs with his head on his chest. Tom’s arms wrapped around Tord’s waist and he held his phone behind the smaller boy.

 

Tord had drifted off into sleep when the bell rung; it jolted him awake. Tom laughed as Tord groaned.

 

“Want to wait a minute?” Tom whispered. Tord shook his head.

 

“Jonas will be here soon. He checks to see if kids are in class.” Tord held himself tighter as he drifted back into sleep, holding himself close to Tom. Tom nodded.

 

“Tord, let’s go.” He smiled as he said it, and shook Tord a little. Tord muttered something inaudible as he stood with Tom. Tom chuckled as he and the smaller boy walked out.

 

They went out through the open door in the back of the building (which were open because the agriculture class was out at the moment). Tord drowsily laced his fingers with Tom’s. 

 

The boys walked out of the school gates—which were never locked—and began their trek to their neighborhood. Tord started to wake up a bit, but he was still tripping over himself and slurring his words. Tom laughed at it mostly, knowing that the smaller boy must have had the hardest time falling asleep. 

 

After thirty minutes of walking, they made it to their neighborhood. Tom lived near the front of the neighborhood with Matt while Edd lived in the middle, and Tord lived in the back. 

 

“You want to drop our stuff at my house or your house?” Tom asked, even though the question was mostly rhetorical. 

 

Tord looked up at Tom with the “I’m done with your shit are you really serious” face. Tom laughed and shook their hands together. 

 

They finished the walk to Tom’s house, where Tom shoveled his keys out of his pocket to unlock his door. Tord noticed Tom’s car in his driveway. 

 

“Uh, Tom?” Tord asked. Tom raised a brow as he pushed open the door. 

 

“Is your dad home?” Tord asked. Tom nodded. 

 

“Just tell him it was early release. He's probably drunk and won't care.” Tom shrugged. Tord shifted uncomfortably. 

 

“Here, you can drop your stuff off in my room while I tell my dad I'm home with a friend.” Tom handed Tord his bag. “My room is the first room on the right.” He pointed down the hall. “I'll be right back.”

 

Tord awkwardly walked down the hall while Tom walked into the kitchen. Tord opened the door and stepped in. 

 

Tom’s room was much different than his. While Tord had a half made bed, Tom’s wasn't made. Tom had a laundry basket in the corner that was half full, and a bass leaning against the wall his bed and nightstand shared. He had posters and collectibles of various things. Tord’s room was barren compared to this—he had no posters or collectibles, his laundry basket was in his bathroom, and his room was much tidier than Tom’s. 

 

Tord sat the backpacks down by Tom’s closet and sat on his bed. Tom’s bed creaked under, Tord which made him jump. Tord could hear a chuckling Tom. 

 

Ton stood in the doorway, shaking his head. He flopped next to Tord, making it creak more. 

 

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Tom said sarcastically.  Tord snorted. 

 

“I feel so welcomed.” He laughed. Tom tickled Tord’s side until Tord lay down with him. Tord was a giggling fit as Tom watched him. Tom kissed Tord, and Tord melted into it. During the kiss, Tom started tickling Tord again. Tord pulled back and held his sides.

 

The boys lay together while Tom left small kisses on Tord’s arms and neck, leaving one or two hickeys on Tord’s collarbone. 

 

“What do you want to do?” Tom finally said. Tord mumbled into Tom's chest. 

 

“I can't hear you, Tord,” Tom whispered. Tord lifted his head up and placed his lips on Tom's, but not quite kissing. 

 

“I said I have no clue,” Tord whispered. He smiled against Tom’s lips, but pulled away when Tom tried to kiss him. 

 

“Tord, don't be a tease,” Tom whispered. Tord laughed and sat up to stretch.

 

“I guess we can go to the mall or something. Just walk around?” Tord asked. “Is there an outdoor mall here?” 

 

“I don't know, I can look it up,” Tom said. “We have to wait for my dad to get back though. He's getting more beer.” Tom rolled his eyes. He pulled out his phone and started typing on it. Tord stood and stretched more, walking over to the bass. He didn't pick it up—it looked like it could've broke. Tord looked back at Tom. 

 

“How long have you been playing?” Tord asked. Tom sat up and rubbed his eyes. 

 

“I don't know. A few years or something,” he said. He put his phone down and gestured towards the bass. “Hand it to me.”

 

Tord carefully picked up the bass and handed it to Tom. Tord watched as Tom played a melody; he had no clue that Tom could play. 

 

The boys sat and talked while Tom played until Tom’s father came home. His arrival was announced with a door being loudly slammed and slurred words that were somewhat crude. Tom sighed and put his bass down and waved for Tord to follow him. Tord followed Tom out of his room and down the hall to the living room. Tom’s father was in the kitchen putting away his drinks when Tom quickly grabbed the keys.

 

“We’ll be back later,” Tom yelled at his dad. His dad all but grunted in response, leaving Tord somewhat shocked. 

 

“Is your dad always like this?” Tord whispered. Tom nodded as he unlocked the car and got in. Tord noted that and got in with him.

 

The boys talked while music played softly in the background. They talked about small things—nothing memorable. Tom parked in a parallel parking space at the mall. 

 

“Where did you want to go?” Tom looked down at Tord. Tord looked around, extremely excited to explore the mall. Tom’s question interrupted his thoughts.

 

“Uh.” He looked around, taking Tom’s hand as he did so. “I don’t know. I guess we can just look around until we see something?” Tom nodded.

 

There weren’t many people there, mostly because it was early in the morning and during the workweek. Tord looked around, trying to find a store that we wanted to go in. He was mostly just cold. His eyes landed on a café.

 

“Could we go in there?” Tord pointed. Tom looked up from his phone.

 

“We’re surrounded by retail stores and you want to go into a café?” Tom chuckled. “Sure, let’s go.”

 

The boys stood in line, which, again, was short. Tom got a black coffee while Tord got tea and a donut. They sat at a booth within the café.

 

Tord was taking a bite out of his donut when Tom sprung the question on him.

 

“Are you doing okay? With your parents and all?” Tom asked. Tord slowly chewed his donut as he thought.

 

“My parents are fighting, but neither one will come forward about it,” Tord said. Tom raised a brow.

 

“Seriously? Now of all times?” 

 

“I’m pretty sure it’s my fault.” Tord looked down at his hands. Tom took his free hand.

 

“Don’t blame yourself, commie. Your parents not getting along should have nothing to do with you. And if they blame you, then their pieces of shit,” Tom said. Tord shrugged.

 

“Paul has been coming home late and only leaves after Patryck leaves to take me to school. Patryck’s been a wreck since what happened and he won’t talk to me! He get’s all tense and freezes up,” Tord mumbled. He took a drink of his tea as Tom moved his thumb in circles on Tord’s hand. “Like, tonight’s their anniversary! Patryck doesn’t even want to go out, but for the last fifteen years we’ve gone out, and they were doing it before then. I just want to know what’s going on between them.”

 

“Tord, I wish I could help more, but my mom doesn’t even live with me or my dad.” Tom mumbled. Tord shook his head.

 

“I just...I keep messing up and I’m tired of it,” Tord said. “It almost makes me wish—nevermind.” He looked away, but Tom leaned forward.

 

“Makes you wish what?” Tom questioned. Tord shook his head.

 

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it.” 

 

“Tord—”

 

“It almost makes me wish that I actually died, you know? Everything’s been horrible at home and I  _ know _ that it’s because of me, but nobody will say it and it’s pissing me off.” Tord took another drink.

 

“Don’t say that, Tord. Ever.” Tom’s grip tightened and his voice was stern.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be,” Tom said, softer. “Hey, when we’re done with this, let’s go to the park, alright? Just sit and relax,” he said, smiling. Tord smiled back.

 

“Alright.”

 

~

 

Tord was drifting off at the park. He and Tom sat under a tree while they cuddled. Tord jumped when his phone started buzzing.

 

“What the hell?” Tom mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Tord sat up and pulled out his phone.

 

“Fuck!” he yelled; louder than it needed to be, but thankfully no one was around.

 

“What?” 

 

“It’s my dad,” Tord whispered, covering his mouth. 

 

Tom took the phone and answered it, putting it on speaker.

 

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed.

 

“Tord? Where are you? Why did the school call me saying that you’re absent?” Patryck said. Tord stared at Tom.

 

“Long story...uh—”

 

“Tord where the hell are you?” 

 

“Uh,” he looked at Tom, “the park next to the mall?” he said. 

 

“What the  _ fuck are you doing there alone? _ Why aren’t you in school?” Patryck almost yelled. Tom watched Tord.

 

“I’m not alone,” Tord mumbled.

 

“ _ What? _ Who are you with? This doesn’t make it okay—”

 

“I’m with Tom.” Tord said. The line was quiet.

 

“With who?” Patryck finally said. Tord closed his eyes.

 

“I’m with Tom,” he said again. “I asked him to take me here.”

 

“Tord you are in so much trouble when you get home—”

 

“I know.” Tord cut him off. 

 

“Come home, please.” Patryck said. Tom watched Tord.

 

“Dad, please—”

 

“If you aren’t home soon I will call Paul.” Patryck said. The phone went silent.

 

“Fuck me.” Tord put his head in his hands. Tom tossed the phone to the ground. 

 

“Tord, it’s fine.”

 

“My dad is going to be fucking livid!” Tord threw his hands up. Tom watched him carefully.

 

“Let’s go, Tord,” Tom said. Tord nodded and followed.

 

The ride was uncomfortably quiet. Tord was frantic, but Tom was oddly calm. It pissed off Tord, but he didn’t say anything; this wasn’t his fault.

 

They stopped at Tom’s house, first, so that Tord could grab his bag.

 

Tom pulled up to Tord’s house, where Patryck was waiting. Tord could almost feel the anger radiating off of him. 

 

Tom got out of the car, but when he realized that Tord was having a hard time, he opened the door for Tord, too. 

 

“Tord, calm down, it’ll be fine,” Tom mumbled as he helped pull Tord out of the car. Tord’s hand was cold, and he looked sick. Tom shook his head and took a breath.

 

Tom closed the door behind Tord and turned to see Patryck. His eyes were firmly set on Tord, but when they landed on Tom, Tom could almost feel his stomach flip. This was  _ not  _ going to be good.

 

“There you two are,” Patryck said coldly.

 

“Hi,” Tord said. Patryck didn’t move as Tord walked around Tom up to Patryck.

 

“I don’t want you around my son anymore, you’ve already had enough of an influence on him,” Patryck said in a monotone voice to Tom. Tom nodded.

 

“Dad, stop,” Tord whispered. Patryck whipped his head around.

 

:You forgive him? Are you serious? He...he—”

 

“I know what he did, dad!” Tord snapped. Tom watched quietly.

 

“Tord I swear when your father hears about this—”

 

“Sir, with all due respect, Tord did ask me to take him somewhere else, but I was the one who helped him,” Tom spoke up. He was biting his tongue from saying all of the nasty things that he could've said, but he knew that now was not the time. Now was the time for compromise.

 

“What do you know about my son?” Patryck almost snarled.

 

“I would say that I know more than you, but I guess that that’s really up to Tord. But what I do know is that I’ve been an asshole lately and that I’ve been trying to make it up to him, because he doesn’t deserve this. I don’t care if you agree with it or not, I’m just trying to make him happy because he deserves it.”

 

“And  _ you  _ know what he deserves?” Patryck said, his voice now quiet.

 

“I know what he tells me, sir,” Tom said, his hands in his pocket and his shoulders pulled back. “I didn’t ask him to forgive me. In all honesty, I expected him to hate me after what I said to him—I don’t deserve someone like Tord, I know. But if he wants me around to make him happy, who am I to deny him being happy?” Tom finished his statement and his shoulders slumped. Patryck eyed him.

 

“Please, go.” 

 

Tom nodded and he turned to leave.

 

“Tom!” Tord yelled. Tom looked back.

 

“I love you, Tom,” Tord said. Patryck glared at his son and Tom smiled.

 

“I love you too.”


	19. Chapter 19

Tord was grounded for his little stunt, had to deal with a livid Paul, and explain as to why he was with Tom again. He knew that they were never going to appreciate Tom, but Tord didn’t care.

 

A few weeks after, Tord finally brought up the elephant in the room: Paul and Patryck’s relationship. At first it was a lot of beating around the bush and saying that there were no problems, but Paul finally accepted the fact.

 

They explained that things were rocky before the incident (you know,  _ that  _ one), but everything just went worse after that. It was more of a miscommunication on their part.

 

The school year finished up with only a small hiccup. That being that Edd and Matt told the counselor about Edwardo and his nefarious habits. There was somewhat of a large investigation after that.

 

Tord and Tom were closer than ever; in fact, all of the boys were. They were a family on their own.

 

Summer came around and Matt invited the boys to go to America with him for two months, to which Tord had to  _ beg _ his parents to let him go. After a week of begging and two presentations, they said yes.

 

Things were looking up for Tord, and he was definitely thankful. It was one night on a California beach, he remembered. Edd and Matt had already retired for the night, and it was just Tom and Tord.

 

The boys were talking about heroes, like Batman and Superman.

 

“Tord, who’s your hero?” Tom mumbled as he held Tord close. Tord smiled.

 

“I don’t really have a hero, but I know one thing,” he leaned in and kissed Tom, “you’re  _ not  _ my hero. More like a savior, I think.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It means a lot to me to think that anyone actually read this entire story...my vent story. Speaking of that, I'm okay! No need to worry about me. This story was started over a year ago and I only recently finished it. I want to thank my friends who helped me through the time where I really was struggling (the time that I decided to write this). So, thank you for reading!


End file.
